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This was posted over on the LS1Tech board...from Craigslist

Beautiful 1.24 Ct Princess Cut Diamond Engagement Ring - $3900 (Kansas City)

Up for sale is a beautiful princess cut 1.24 carat diamond ring. This ring will make your fiancee's friends go ape **** over how small and crappy their Walmart engagement ring looks compared to this one. I paid $5500 for it. I only want $3900 or will trade for something of equal value that I can use to pick up hot chicks with. No rusty camaros. Seriously. This ring comes with a warning. It will make your life great at first. You will get a lot more sex and maybe some of the dirty **** style sex you've been wanting to try but didn't know how to ask. Once you move in with the ring, it will turn into a total heartless, self loving, uncaring bitch. You will be blamed for it, but it won't be your fault. You will make it breakfast in bed and keep the lawn mowed. The ring will be lying in bed bitching because the mower is loud. You will take the ring on nice vacations where it will dress up in a hot mini skirt and those tall boots and eat great food and drink lots of expensive drinks, but at the end of the night, the ring will have a headache. The ring will also begin to have a period three weeks a month. I know, I don't get it either, but it's true. You will build the ring a half a million dollar house complete with a bar and home theater. The ring will wait until you are gone, then throw a party for a bunch of other rings that come over and spill wine on your ****. The ring will make you late for everything staring at its aging old *** in the mirror. Just when you are beat down and have no self confidence, the ring will stay out late with someone else's ring. They will talk about how shitty they have it living in a nice home with a caring, responsible, sexless partner then laugh and touch each others junk. Email me if you would like this ring to be a part of your life. I would like it out of mine. It comes with both a yellow gold or white gold band. Oh yeah, it is indecisive too. Good luck and best wishes!
P.S. I don't want to trade for anything. I could use the cash to get a hooker. A really good hooker. If I can't go through with the hooker thing, I might use it to buy back some self respect. Don't they sell that at Costco? Maybe Kirkland brand self respect. I'll stick with the hooker. I would trade for a Harley. I think chicks like Harleys. Or a GTO. Not one of the new crappy looking GTO's. The old ones. The ones that were made when satan was born as a woman.

I have the International Gemmological Information card (IGI) that comes with. It has a photo of the ring and the specifics....Color: Colorless(F), ClarityI(1) Pol/SYM Good/Good It shows replacement value at $6260 as of 12/13/2002.

Key words: bitch, diamond engagement ring, misery, princess cut, princess wife, wedding, glad I didn't buy her fake ****, white gold, cheater, yellow gold

HILARIOUS!