For real? Pam? Tape? Cling wrap?
it's not that big a freakin deal. Just drive the damn thing out there, give it a quick bath and be done with it. If you care about your car enough to do some of this stuff, surely you have a nice coat of wax on the bumper and bugs will wash right off. As for stone chips, I have 18,000 unwrapped miles on my car and maybe 2 or 3 chips.
People really know how to make something out of nothing.
And finally, to the dude with the bra, those are the WORST thing you could put on your car. The fabric scuffs the paint, if it rains, it traps water, debris gets stuck along the edge and scratches the paint, they flap and could mar the finish. Total waste of money.