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Old 05-15-2011, 12:52 PM   #1037
GTAHVIT
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Drives: 2013 Sonic RS MT
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Saint Augustine FL
Posts: 28,848
Quote:
Originally Posted by SSE 4 2SS View Post
Bare with me for a second as I answer the food question...

We have people that work literally all over the world... This occasionally leads to problems with Tax laws in other countries... to resolve this, we do trade outs occasionally...

This involves a person from one rig swapping rigs with a person from another rig in a different part of the world... For example, if I had too many days in Brazil, which due to Brazilian law is never an issue, then I would go work in the gulf for 2 two week hitchs, and the person that normally works in the gulf would come work one 4 week hitch for me... As mentioned, Brazilian Tax Law is such that this is never an issue, but OMG is it a problem in Mexico...

So, how does this translate to food questions being answered...

I worked on a small jack-up in the Gulf of Mexico about nine years ago that had a 20 year old black guy that was the cook... OMG, the food was amazing... He could cook anything... I asked him one day where and how he learned to cook... He siad he learned in his "Momma's Kitchen," a small resturant place that only serves three main courses a day... Some type of Fish, some type of Chicken, and some type of Beef or Pork... and all the fixen's to go with it... I kid you not, this guy could have taken the boot off my foot and made it edible... steel toes and all...

He said that the only problem he ever has is trying to cook the same meals he learned from Momma for 50-70 guys... The recipes do not necessarily transfer just by doubling or tripling the ingredients... The Rig Boss (OIM), had aphone installed in the galley for him, just so he could occasionally call momma to ask a question... Putting a phone in the galley is normally forbidden since no cooking or clothes washing would ever get done... No, they do not wash clothes in the galley, but the Galley Crew is responsible for cleaning the rooms, washing the clothes, and cooking and cleaning the galley...

This guy made hand made from scratch yeast rolls every day... There was always a huge crowd in the galley when he pulled those things out of the oven.... he made enough to eat with every meal if you desired... I've eaten in five star resturants that didn't hold a candle to this guy and his galley... Wow, just wow...

So, back to the trade outs... When a trade out was taking place involving someone on this rig... this young man wasn't allowed to cook for the week or two that the trading person from some other rig was there... Small jack-up rigs have the least pull in the office, and if he cooked when the person from the other rig was there, he would get snatched up and made to go to another rig... So, he was possibly the best kept secret in the Gulf...

Now... for the rest of the rigs I've worked on... It's hit and miss... I've been on a couple of rigs where the food was decent at best, and thats cool... but I've been on rigs that I live on french fries and or peanut butter and jelly for 28 days straight... if we had peanut butter... If not, it was literally french fries... french fries... and more french fries...

The only problem with that in Brazil, is we have no decent bread... They make their own and it's ok to just eat, but it isn't ok for a sandwich... I've actually taken a bowl and put some peanut butter and jelly in it and smashed the bread down into it making a mush like substance that resembled a previously chewed chunk of PB&J, and eaten it with a spoon...

When I worked in Egypt, yeeeecccchhhhhhhhhh We had Camel, goat, and lord knows what else.... "Alll Bheeph"... ask the cooks, that speak only Arabic, and they say "alll Bheeeph..." < said like your coughing up a lung...

We had a camp boss, that actually smuggled bacon, what we call Canadian Bacon into the country from England, and at some time during the hitch... he would run the muslims out of the galley, line a pan with foil, and cook the bacon and made hand made crescent rolls and build a little breakfast sandwich... He would wrap them in foil and hand carry them to us all over the rig... That was a little piece of Heaven on Earth, since we could get no other form of pork over there, and who knows how long he would have rotted in an Egyptian jail if caught smuggling that stuff in...

In Mexico, we had a chicken boat... we called it that since 99% of what we ate was chicken... morning noon and night... When you work for Pemex, the Mexican National Drilling Company, you are allowed one coke a day... period.... and thats only if you are up at noon and able to get it before someone else takes it... I hated working in Mexico.... With a passion... Everyone in the office in Houston knows beyond a shadow of a doubt, if I am ever assigned back there, I will quit... I'll go be a Wal mart Greeter and Park my beloved Camaro in the same parking lot everyday before I will ever go work offshore in Mexico again...
HOLY SHIT!!!

OF all the stuff in here the bowl of peanut butter sammich had me crying...


I can't even begin to tell you all the different ways we'd mix stuff up to be able to choke down a meal on the Carrier...

obviously we put tabasco on EVERYTHING... having a Mexican mother who could cook, being on board were white bread and brown lettuce was the norm I struggled to get some flavor on my food.

One time we had a "taco bar" mostly becasue the sign said so... If my mother ever saw it she would cry I'm sure...

So after choking down some tacos with tomato paste and ground up roast beef dry cheese and brown lettuce... No way in hell I was gonna touch the "sour" creme.... I was like a crack addict for some chips and salsa!!! So I got a bottle of tobasco, Some tomato paste and some of the soggy floury things they called tortillas. I mixed up the salsa and tomato paste till it kinda resembled a salsa like flavor and put the tortillas in the microwave unitl they were crisp and brown... and hard as frisbees...

Crunched em all up am stirred it up in a bowl and ate it with a spoon...



I was in heaven....

Till I had to go number 1.5... NOT good....
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