Went back into Firestone before work today... I was thinking they might be a bit resistant to re-doing the alignment but the guy was like "no problem, it should be done right". Now my wheel is dead center and the car goes straight! I definitely know how you feel man, with the wheel crooked it just wears on you that it's crooked.
Those are some sweet bolts! And Pete, thanks for all the tips. Currently I don't notice anything with the toe being close to 0 so I'll just leave it alone until the next alignment (Pedders bushing install?