Oh for the love of........
PEOPLE!!!!
THAT IS NOT THE
REAL FINISH ON THE PRE-PRODUCTION LUG NUTS!!!
however - in the interest of keeping a few people happy - we are, at 19:00 hours taking the following actions:
1. - the lead designer and the lead engineer for the 2014 Model Year lug nuts will summarily have their faces removed with an
airwrench -- and then their faces will be sewn back on
upside down......
2. - the Vice President in charge of "Screws, Nuts, and various and sundry fasteners" will be fed into a wood chipper.
We are immediately requiring that all Chevrolet Dealers (and those owners who are
obviously blind and actually purchased a 2014...) cover "said lugnuts" with safety covers - thereby avoiding the tragedy of young children everywhere from waking up in the middle of the night screaming their collective heads off........
Further - we shall no longer refer to them as 'lugnuts' -- but rather by "wheel fastener hangie-on things" -- and anyone who uses the term "lugnuts" from here on out shall be hunted down by a fleet of black suburba..............
*sound of screeching tires*
*sound of door being flung open at the Residence of Fbodfather*
*sound of kicking, punching, clanking and other various and sundry nasty sounds*
*sound of departing suburbans*
....silence..........