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Old 09-05-2012, 03:05 PM   #52
God Bless Dawson
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Originally Posted by Ivan @ Southwest Speed View Post
Must be nice to live in a "republic" where there are like 817 different plates you can get for your whip.

Always hated on Texas just for this alone.........Mad jelly.

Come on down and say howdy some time.
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Old 09-05-2012, 03:54 PM   #53

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Seems like there are a whole lot of invitations going out ...stuff about moving to Texas.....

So hold on!!!!

Texas is full, there are no vacancies. case your thinking about coming anyway....
Better give some further thoughts to scorpions, rattlesnakes, fire ants, crazy ants, ****roaches on steroids, killer bees, mosquitoes, ticks, chiggers, tarantulas, brown recluse spiders, love bugs, swarming crickets, copperheads, cottonmouths, rabid skunks, wild hogs, alligators, oppressive heat & humidity, bleak desolate scenery, dirty beaches, polluted air, dust storms, drought, wildfires, water shortages, recurring floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, rednecks, huge piles of flaming mulch, spontaneously combusting playgrounds, roads hot as flowing lava, the stench of natural and unnatural gasses, amoebic meningitis lurking in area lakes, recurring ebola virus outbreaks, flesh eating bacteria, staggering homeowner insurance rates, unbelievably high property taxes, mandatory death sentences for DUI convictions

....and yep, everything is a little different in Texas.....for example did ya know.....

The armadillo is known as 'possum on the half-shell'...

1.A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did ya'll go to the bathroom?'
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. 'Fixinto' is one word.
10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'
13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'.
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16. 'No. Jew?' is a common response to the question 'Did you bring any beer?'.
17. You measure distance in minutes.
18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
20. You know what a 'DAWG' is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your truck --- for your OWN truck.
22. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.
23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football
24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'.
26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World'.
28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather.
29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
30. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.

Radio station had a contest a while back, asked "....what's the most popular bumper sticker?"

First place was a tie:
  • "Welcome to Austin now go home"
  • "If you love New York then get your ass out of Texas"
Last but not least the official Texas motto....

"Don't Mess with Texas."

"Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference." - Mark Twain

"Never argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience" - Unknown
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Old 09-05-2012, 04:26 PM   #54
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oh how I love Texas
after school I'm moving back
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Old 09-05-2012, 04:33 PM   #55
God Bless Dawson
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We also tolerate yankees even though they are alot like hemorrhoids.....

They come down and go back up, they are ok.

They come down and stay down, they are a pain in the arse.
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