Sometimes murder is a viable option

[BigBoyBlue]

My wife would have denied all knowledge of the scratches. In fact she curb rashed one of our cars a few years ago, then denied it was her. I told her "I believe you. There has been a rash of auto vandalism where criminals sneak onto your driveway and rub pieces of cement on people's rims".

[Burn Notice24]

Originally Posted by BigBoyBlue

My wife would have denied all knowledge of the scratches. In fact she curb rashed one of our cars a few years ago, then denied it was her. I told her "I believe you. There has been a rash of auto vandalism where criminals sneak onto your driveway and rub pieces of cement on people's rims".

Well done My grandmother has the same vandals running around her home.

[NJ Drive]

Originally Posted by Manbearpig

Curb rash sex.

Yes it's a thing, I found out already.

Also found out about door ding sex too.

Handled like a true gentleman.

[derklug]

I just don't understand why she was out of the kitchen.

[Trickster929]

Don't feel too bad....I inflicted those same wounds on all four of my rims within three months of getting the car.

[RubyCamaro]

That is repairable. Don't do something in your relationship that is not. I know it sucks though.

[Drumminxx]

I guess it's safe to assume that the guy who drives a dinged up camaro is a guy who probably get's laid alot...lol...

[Alain]

Originally Posted by Partick

I have an identical wound on mine, sadly it was self inflicted :(

+1

[xnuyokr]

I lower my side view mirror to see the curb when I park. Helps for the back tire but I still have come close with the front one!

[ratfinkharley]

WHAT WOMEN WANT...‏


Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So the monarch offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult
question.

Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody:the princess, the priests, the wise men, the court jester.

He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, only she would know the answer.

The price would be high; the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first:

The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden.

Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He told him that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur total freedom.

What a wedding Gawain and the witch had!

Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display, and generally made everyone very uncomfortable.

The honeymoon hour approached. Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him!

The astounded Gawain asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she'd appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible, deformed self half the time, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self.

Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night?

What a cruel question!

Gawain pondered his predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old witch?

Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman with whom to enjoy many intimate moments?

What would you do?

What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read it until you've made your own choice.

Make YOUR choice BEFORE you read Gawain's answer!

































Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself.


Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

What is the moral of this story?

The moral is:
If your woman doesn't get her own way,things are going to get ugly!


~Author Unknown~

[beetlei]

The last time I waited for my wife at the hospital... She came out with bigger boobs. Not always a bad wait in the hospital.

[SS4Fun]

Originally Posted by derklug

I just don't understand why she was out of the kitchen.

Originally Posted by xnuyokr

I lower my side view mirror to see the curb when I park. Helps for the back tire but I still have come close with the front one!

[jewel25]

Yeah that sucks, but it is just a rim. Don't be too hard on your wife. Now she can't nag on you when you want to get new rims.

[McRat]

Originally Posted by CCMADONNA

one day i decided to do all of my husband's chores so he would have a free weekend.
he came home and asked me, "who mowed the lawn, and why did they use a chain saw?" no good deed goes unpunished.

HAHAHA!!! Could be worse, you could have done it with the rototiller.