I'm Going To Kill My Coworker

[melody301]

Coworker just played a bad but actually a good prank on me.

I park my car at a near by parking garage and have had my car hit once at this garage by an idiot who didn't know how to front in park properly. Anyway, coworker calls my office phone and says he just hit my car at the ------- Parking garage. He said he got my number from one of the attendants and that he hit my car pretty bad in the rear. Taillight damage, rear tire flat, and bumper dented in pretty bad. Said he hit it with a van.

I said I back in park so how did you hit me from the rear? He said he hit it at a slight angle and rammed it into the wall. He asked where I was located and that he can meet me somewhere. I said meet me at my car. He said well I'm in a wheel chair so it'll take me about 10 minutes. I said well you need to be on your way. I hang up the phone and walk out of my office storming mad and I see this jerk walking down the hall toward me with a big grin on his face and I knew he did it. He said he called me from some app on his phone that gave him a different number.

On top of all that I went to punch him in the arm and injured my damn finger. HUH!!!

Need advice on how to get him back.

[Sasquatch]

OK, if you say so, but for this to work, you'll have to find a dead frog. Try local pet stores and say you are a science teacher. They will have a fresh one.

put the dead frog in his jacket pocket or somewhere inside an article of his clothing and recite the following incantation aloud:

"lek-too lek-too lek-too, e nunda lektoo nunda"

He will fall ill within two weeks.

ancient sasquatchian curse.

[Lazerbrainz2k3]

I've had a few people do that to me at work - including a manager who said he backed his Prius into my car! It happens, but it sounds like it's in good fun.

Could be worse. The one time I didn't believe a coworker (and I usually do - am I paranoid?) was when some UAW contract fight was coming up, we were flirting with a strike happening, and one day a coworker told me the union guys were lighting off some very hot fire pits outside the gates to keep themselves warm while holding up signs and all, and doing it right by where my car was parked. I said yeah right, we're not even allowed to smoke outside the gates, nice try. A little bit later I passed a window looking out at the gates, and guess what I saw? fire pits! By my car! I tell you, Usain Bolt couldn't have beaten me on the way out to move my car.

[2011ss/rs]

Tell your boss he sexually harassed you that should take care of him. Pretty mean but he will get the point.

I am only kidding

[FFPM73]

Pour some oil under his car. Then, tell him too move it too make sure it wasn't there before he parked. When he moves it, go pour some more oil under his car. He'll make an appointment to get it fixed, the shop will tell him everything is fine. He'll pick it up and drive it to work, then, pour antifreez or transmission fluid under the car.......vicious cycle, but it is damn funny.......

[UT-Engineer]

release the air from his tires... Im sure he doesnt carry a spare air pump on him

[TSSUNAMI]

Little off topic:

But I have that beat.

I went to UNLV for college, Eminem played a concert at the Thomas and Mack Center, and I drove my jeep to said event. Left the top down before I went in, came out to find that someone had taken a crap in my backseat and left a box of kleenex next to it.

Took two hours to clean and the stain never really came out.

More a vandalism story, but still, the kleenex made it prankish. I still get shit from my frat brothers about it 10 years later. (probably one of them who did it)

[toesuf94]

Leave a note on his windshield that explains that you hit his car. Leave the phone number to the local massage parlour as the call back number...you know, the one out by the truck stop?

He will spend the next 15 minutes trying to find the (non) damage on his car. Then when he calls the number may figure it out.

[66olds442]

If you have access to his computer, here is a ton of awesome things you can do.

http://www.tomsguide.com/us/april-fo...view-1642.html

[SSOOCH]

Originally Posted by melody301

Need advice on how to get him back.

I'd screw his Wife!

That'll teach Him...

[Sir Nuke]

One of the guys at work actually did this to a buddy of ours....

he drove a small truck.....so my buddy came in a little late so He knew the other guy would be at woprk when he got there. He too drove a truck and put a floor jack and some blocks he made just for this occation ( he had measured his truck a few days before). Jacked up the rear, put the blocks under the axels and late her down. the wheels were only off the ground about a half inch.....When he got in his truck to go home..... NOTHING BUT SPINNING WHEELS!!!!! there was some SERIOUS payback comming for that one! needless his carpool was NONE TOO HAPPY!

[melody301]

Originally Posted by SSOOCH

I'd screw his Wife!

That'll teach Him...

Um since I'm a female and don't roll like that then that's not gonna work. Thanks though.

[melody301]

Originally Posted by 66olds442

If you have access to his computer, here is a ton of awesome things you can do.

http://www.tomsguide.com/us/april-fo...view-1642.html

He works in the IT dept but when he leaves to go to the gym I can get access to his machine. Thanks.

[melody301]

Originally Posted by toesuf94

Leave a note on his windshield that explains that you hit his car. Leave the phone number to the local massage parlour as the call back number...you know, the one out by the truck stop?

He will spend the next 15 minutes trying to find the (non) damage on his car. Then when he calls the number may figure it out.

+1 That seems simple enough to do.