So my mom died of throat cancer on tuesday. - Camaro5 Chevy Camaro Forum / Camaro ZL1, SS and V6 Forums

rodimus prime · 08-16-2009, 07:28 PM

My mom originally got throat cancer in 2003 and beat it. Well this year she was diagnosed with it again, and it spread very quickly. For the past two months I was at my moms house taking care of her getting her drinks (thats all she could get down along with runny eggs) doing things around the house and paying bills. She was on hospice btw. Well the Marines are fairly generous and gave me pretty much a solid month home. After that my mom seemed kind of stable and my brother (whos been a phuck up his whole life) whos 40 along with his junkie girlfriend stayed there to help take care of her. They were supposed to call me when she started getting bad.
Every day I talked to him because my mom couldnt talk anymore. He would read me notes that she wrote and tell me how she was doing.

Well tuesday at 11:38pm I get a call from him telling me she died. I told him I was on my way. At about midnight he tells me not to bother coming over until the morning as there was nothing I could do anyways. This triggered the worry switch in my head and I double timed it over there.
I arrived with my wife and kid at about 4:30am and he was up. He said he waited up for me. I though that was weird.

Well I wake up at like 10ish and he and his gf are gone. My nephew said he went to dose up at the meth clenic. Now my mom knew he was a turd and put me on both of her bank accounts to take care of things after she dies. So I went to one bank to check the account and he withdrew $600 from it hours after she died. Then I checked the other accound and in two days including the day she died he took out about $1,100.

I havent said shit to him about it yet. But when I dug further into 1 accound he stole about $5500 total from her in about 2 weeks. I have decided that I am going to be contacting the police and pressing charges against him. Hes very familar with the prison system already.

I futhermore found a few notes my mom wrote days before she died telling them to tell me to come home so she could die. I never was told a word of it. I think my brother didnt want me there so he could take as much money as he could get.

Well my mom would of had about 20k in her two bank accounts to split between the two of us. Plus she has a 32k life insurance policy she didnt even want me to tell him about that I was going to split with him. On top of that we were going to sell her house and split that. He could of put his life back on track but instead tried to go on a mad spree to spend money that he thoght I wouldnt find out about.

My moms brother told me to be relentless on him and not give him a dime, along with other family members saying the same thing. So this week when I go back hes going to get the news along with the criminal charges.

Am I wrong for not giving him a dime (I already gave him $1700 before I found out what he did) and having him arrested? I really really really hate him and what he did.

Sorry for the rant, but my dad told me what my brother would do to my mom after he died. Then my mom told me what he would do after she died. Both were on the money.

*Mindz* · 08-16-2009, 07:46 PM

Personally, I wouldn't give him any of it and see what happens with the police. Fight for the house and all that.

Legally I think he would be entitled to everything, but since he's stolen it and probably will test positive for drugs, you might be able to take special measures with the house if you can prove he's a junkie.

rodimus prime · 08-16-2009, 07:50 PM

My mom left everything in my name exclusively. He wasnt on any bank accounts (got a couple scanned checks where you can tell he forged them too). My mom told me to give him money monthly and not to let him step on us or live in the house. But after this I dont want to see him again.

Muscle Master · 08-16-2009, 07:55 PM

Personally ... I would of kicked his ass, I mean Beat the shit out of him

Snuggles · 08-16-2009, 07:55 PM

Rodimus
Very sorry to hear about your mom bro.
My father is still battling mouth cancer (but has been in remission for approx 3 years now) and a VERY close friend of family has throat/tonsil cancer and he is on a pretty steep downward slide.. My prayers are with u and the family bro.

As far as your brother, he has disrespected u and the family and most especially your mom. Karma is a bitch and this WILL come back to bite him in the ass eventually. and NO, u are not wrong for witholding any money from him. YES, he is blood, but he sealed his own fate with the ridiculous crap he pulled in those lsat two weeks.

Take care man! God Bless!

Muscle Master · 08-16-2009, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snuggles

Rodimus
Very sorry to hear about your mom bro.
My father is still battling mouth cancer (but has been in remission for approx 3 years now) and a VERY close friend of family has throat/tonsil cancer and he is on a pretty steep downward slide.. My prayers are with u and the family bro.

As far as your brother, he has disrespected u and the family and most especially your mom. Karma is a bitch and this WILL come back to bite him in the ass eventually. and NO, u are not wrong for witholding any money from him. YES, he is blood, but he sealed his own fate with the ridiculous crap he pulled in those lsat two weeks.

Take care man! God Bless!

And I'm also srry to hear this, Don't give that bastard a cent

Take his cut and put it toward the a Z28 in the future

Countach · 08-16-2009, 08:05 PM

I'm sry your mom passed away. I'll reserve judgment on your brother because anything I say will take away from a moment that should be spent by paying respect to your mothers untimely passsing

*Mr. Wyndham* · 08-16-2009, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rodimus prime

Am I wrong for not giving him a dime (I already gave him $1700 before I found out what he did) and having him arrested? I really really really hate him and what he did.

Sorry for the rant, but my dad told me what my brother would do to my mom after he died. Then my mom told me what he would do after she died. Both were on the money.

That's terrible. I'm so very sorry for your loss. :(

If it were me in that unimaginable situation...I don't think I could actually press charges against him. No matter how rotten...I just don't think I could do that to family.

However, if it's not explicitly stated in a will that you must split everything half and half...I wouldn't give him a dime. Admittedly, he did take care of her while she was sick...but that sort of behavior warrants no 'reward'. He took his share already.

Again...very, very sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.

JSOC_MQ1 · 08-16-2009, 08:20 PM

I was in a similar situation with a grandfather and the "black sheep" of the family.

I understand your feelings, but just keep in mind ... he is your (only?) brother.

If I were in your shoes I would do the following:
1. Talk to him and tell him you know about the $$ he stole.
2. Depending upon his reaction either.
a. Talk to the prosecuting attorney in that county and get him committed to a "in house" treatment program.
b. Just let the criminal charges go where they will (which would probably be probation anyway).
3. If he went for the treatment program, and completed it successfully, I would tell him that you would volunteer to give him some of the money after a certian amount of time.

Obviously, money is a driving factor (along with the drugs) for your brother.

Maybe, just maybe in the long run .... you could have your pre-drug brother back one day.

I know, I know this is a VERY "soft hearted" idea ..... only time will tell what would happen.

Good luck.

ShnOmac · 08-16-2009, 08:20 PM

Sorry to here about your loss... I am truly sorry for you.

Keep your head up devil dog....

69 Hugger · 08-16-2009, 08:38 PM

Sorry about your Mother thats a tough one, Hang in there & keep your head down over there. Thank you for your service for our Country

jayzwife · 08-16-2009, 08:58 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. She sounds like she had a big heart for you and your brother. You will be in my prayers now.

My advise to you is to speak to an attorney before you do anything. Depending on your state's laws and if she died with either a Will or a Trust in place, there are certain things you must do. If you would like I can spend some time researching your state's laws, just PM me.
Don't give him anything, no money or property until you have an idea of what you need to do.
Calling the police on the theft may or may not be a good thing, call the DA's office and see what they recommend.
My prayers are with you and your family.
Tam

jschuler · 08-16-2009, 09:12 PM

There are really no words I can come up with that could make you feel better or make the best decision as a whole. I can't even imagine what it would be like to go through half of that. Personally I think that anything he 'legally' inherits he should get (is it documented in a will?), but other than that you should use the money to help other family members (and pay for the necessities of a funeral). It's unfortunate that he had to be so selfish. Maybe after this all blows over he'll realize what he could've had, but it really shouldn't be about the money. Hard to believe someone could do all of that to someone they are caring for, let alone their own mother. My prayers are with you, make the decision that is best for you.

ssrsheaven · 08-16-2009, 09:39 PM

SORRY FOR THE LOSS.SHOW HIM AND ASK HIM ABOUT THE NOTES YOU FOUND ON REQUESTING YOU TO COME HOME.THEN AFTER THE REACTION MAKE A CHOICE OF WHAT TO DO.IF YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR HEART LET IT GO,IF IT WAS ME I COULDNT MOM MEANS ALOT TO ME.BUT THATS MY THOUGHT

08-16-2009, 07:28 PM	#1
rodimus prime Account Suspended Drives: Cargo van. Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Metal Metal Land Posts: 1,247	So my mom died of throat cancer on tuesday. My mom originally got throat cancer in 2003 and beat it. Well this year she was diagnosed with it again, and it spread very quickly. For the past two months I was at my moms house taking care of her getting her drinks (thats all she could get down along with runny eggs) doing things around the house and paying bills. She was on hospice btw. Well the Marines are fairly generous and gave me pretty much a solid month home. After that my mom seemed kind of stable and my brother (whos been a phuck up his whole life) whos 40 along with his junkie girlfriend stayed there to help take care of her. They were supposed to call me when she started getting bad. Every day I talked to him because my mom couldnt talk anymore. He would read me notes that she wrote and tell me how she was doing. Well tuesday at 11:38pm I get a call from him telling me she died. I told him I was on my way. At about midnight he tells me not to bother coming over until the morning as there was nothing I could do anyways. This triggered the worry switch in my head and I double timed it over there. I arrived with my wife and kid at about 4:30am and he was up. He said he waited up for me. I though that was weird. Well I wake up at like 10ish and he and his gf are gone. My nephew said he went to dose up at the meth clenic. Now my mom knew he was a turd and put me on both of her bank accounts to take care of things after she dies. So I went to one bank to check the account and he withdrew $600 from it hours after she died. Then I checked the other accound and in two days including the day she died he took out about $1,100. I havent said shit to him about it yet. But when I dug further into 1 accound he stole about $5500 total from her in about 2 weeks. I have decided that I am going to be contacting the police and pressing charges against him. Hes very familar with the prison system already. I futhermore found a few notes my mom wrote days before she died telling them to tell me to come home so she could die. I never was told a word of it. I think my brother didnt want me there so he could take as much money as he could get. Well my mom would of had about 20k in her two bank accounts to split between the two of us. Plus she has a 32k life insurance policy she didnt even want me to tell him about that I was going to split with him. On top of that we were going to sell her house and split that. He could of put his life back on track but instead tried to go on a mad spree to spend money that he thoght I wouldnt find out about. My moms brother told me to be relentless on him and not give him a dime, along with other family members saying the same thing. So this week when I go back hes going to get the news along with the criminal charges. Am I wrong for not giving him a dime (I already gave him $1700 before I found out what he did) and having him arrested? I really really really hate him and what he did. Sorry for the rant, but my dad told me what my brother would do to my mom after he died. Then my mom told me what he would do after she died. Both were on the money.

08-16-2009, 07:46 PM	#2
Mindz E.B.A.H. Drives: you wild... Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: In the happy padded room wearing a jacket that makes me hug myself... Posts: 18,421	Personally, I wouldn't give him any of it and see what happens with the police. Fight for the house and all that. Legally I think he would be entitled to everything, but since he's stolen it and probably will test positive for drugs, you might be able to take special measures with the house if you can prove he's a junkie. __________________ Blue Rush, 2010 SS [Car of the Week 3/22/2010] Traded in on...ZLZBUBB, 2013 ZL1

08-16-2009, 07:55 PM	#5
Snuggles Drives: 2010 VR 2SS/RS, M6, whitestrip Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Palestine, TX Posts: 165	Rodimus Very sorry to hear about your mom bro. My father is still battling mouth cancer (but has been in remission for approx 3 years now) and a VERY close friend of family has throat/tonsil cancer and he is on a pretty steep downward slide.. My prayers are with u and the family bro. As far as your brother, he has disrespected u and the family and most especially your mom. Karma is a bitch and this WILL come back to bite him in the ass eventually. and NO, u are not wrong for witholding any money from him. YES, he is blood, but he sealed his own fate with the ridiculous crap he pulled in those lsat two weeks. Take care man! God Bless! __________________ 2010 VR 2SS/RS M6 w/ Arctic white stripes # 33532!

08-16-2009, 08:05 PM	#7
Countach Drives: Future 2010 Camaro 2LT/RS Join Date: May 2009 Location: Chicagoland Posts: 419	I'm sry your mom passed away. I'll reserve judgment on your brother because anything I say will take away from a moment that should be spent by paying respect to your mothers untimely passsing __________________ 2LT/RS Auto with IO interior 1100 - 7/12/09 - NMGJKP 2000 - 7/20/09 - Order Accepted By GM 2500 - 7/22/09 - Order Preferenced 3000 - 7/23/09 - Order Accepted by Production Control TPW 8/17/09 3100 - 8/5/09 - Order Available to Sequence 3300 - 8/5/09 - Order Scheduled for Production 3400 - 8/12/09 - Order Broadcast 3800 - 8/19/09 - Order Produced 2G1FC1EV6A9137780 4200 - 8/20/09 - Order Shipped 5000 - 8/27/09 - Delivered to Dealer 6000 - 8/27/09 - Home

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08-16-2009, 07:50 PM	#3
rodimus prime Account Suspended Drives: Cargo van. Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Metal Metal Land Posts: 1,247	My mom left everything in my name exclusively. He wasnt on any bank accounts (got a couple scanned checks where you can tell he forged them too). My mom told me to give him money monthly and not to let him step on us or live in the house. But after this I dont want to see him again.

08-16-2009, 08:20 PM	#9
JSOC_MQ1 Drives: 2010 IBM 2SS Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Missouri Posts: 115	I was in a similar situation with a grandfather and the "black sheep" of the family. I understand your feelings, but just keep in mind ... he is your (only?) brother. If I were in your shoes I would do the following: 1. Talk to him and tell him you know about the $$ he stole. 2. Depending upon his reaction either. a. Talk to the prosecuting attorney in that county and get him committed to a "in house" treatment program. b. Just let the criminal charges go where they will (which would probably be probation anyway). 3. If he went for the treatment program, and completed it successfully, I would tell him that you would volunteer to give him some of the money after a certian amount of time. Obviously, money is a driving factor (along with the drugs) for your brother. Maybe, just maybe in the long run .... you could have your pre-drug brother back one day. I know, I know this is a VERY "soft hearted" idea ..... only time will tell what would happen. Good luck.

08-16-2009, 08:20 PM	#10
ShnOmac Drives: 2006 Silverado SS, 2009 G8 GT Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: PNW Posts: 13,313	Sorry to here about your loss... I am truly sorry for you. Keep your head up devil dog....

08-16-2009, 08:38 PM	#11
69 Hugger Drives: 69 Convertible Camaro Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Sumit Point, WV Posts: 943 View My Garage	Sorry about your Mother thats a tough one, Hang in there & keep your head down over there. Thank you for your service for our Country

08-16-2009, 08:58 PM	#12
jayzwife Drives: 2010 VR SS/RS Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: NorCal Posts: 94 View My Garage	I am so sorry to hear about your mom. She sounds like she had a big heart for you and your brother. You will be in my prayers now. My advise to you is to speak to an attorney before you do anything. Depending on your state's laws and if she died with either a Will or a Trust in place, there are certain things you must do. If you would like I can spend some time researching your state's laws, just PM me. Don't give him anything, no money or property until you have an idea of what you need to do. Calling the police on the theft may or may not be a good thing, call the DA's office and see what they recommend. My prayers are with you and your family. Tam

08-16-2009, 09:12 PM	#13
jschuler WildCat Drives: 2LT Imperial blue/biege Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Kansas City, KS Posts: 149	There are really no words I can come up with that could make you feel better or make the best decision as a whole. I can't even imagine what it would be like to go through half of that. Personally I think that anything he 'legally' inherits he should get (is it documented in a will?), but other than that you should use the money to help other family members (and pay for the necessities of a funeral). It's unfortunate that he had to be so selfish. Maybe after this all blows over he'll realize what he could've had, but it really shouldn't be about the money. Hard to believe someone could do all of that to someone they are caring for, let alone their own mother. My prayers are with you, make the decision that is best for you.

08-16-2009, 09:39 PM	#14
ssrsheaven Drives: 92 firebird,2010 camaro Join Date: May 2009 Location: Indianapolis,In Posts: 362 View My Garage	SORRY FOR THE LOSS.SHOW HIM AND ASK HIM ABOUT THE NOTES YOU FOUND ON REQUESTING YOU TO COME HOME.THEN AFTER THE REACTION MAKE A CHOICE OF WHAT TO DO.IF YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR HEART LET IT GO,IF IT WAS ME I COULDNT MOM MEANS ALOT TO ME.BUT THATS MY THOUGHT