Joke tellin' page

[Big Brunsy]

Ole's car was hit by a truck in an accident. In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole.

'Didn't you say, sir, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine, ?' asked the lawyer.

Ole responded, 'Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I had yust loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into da.....'

'I didn't ask for any details', the lawyer interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?

Ole said, 'Vell, I had yust got Bessie into da trailer and I vas driving down da road... .

The lawyer interrupted again and said, 'Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie'.

Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Vell, as I vas saying, I had yust loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and vas driving her down da highvay ven dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop sign and smacked my truck right in da side. I vas trown into one ditch and Bessie vas trown into da other. I vas hurting real bad and didn't vant to move. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape yust by her groans'. 'Shortly after da accident da Highway Patrolman, he came to da scene.. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he vent over to her'..

'After he looked at her and saw her fatal condition he took out his gun and shot her right 'tween da eyes.

Den da Patrolman, he came across da road, gun still smoking, looked at me and said, 'How are you feeling?'

'Now vat da hell vould YOU say?

[lakers171]

thread revival. comon guys we can't let this thread fall. keep the jokes going.

[Dr Jkel]

this is a great thread

[PoorMansCamaro]

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?

you wave.

[philthy]

How pumpkin pie is made....

[philthy]

Originally Posted by philthy

How pumpkin pie is made....

Hey...what happened to my pic?

[ZEMSKARTER]

I like the notion of having two generations of Camaros and I like the idea of restoring/working on a 3rd gen that I could buy for relatively cheap. What I don't like is what the reported mileage was (16/25, not really better than my 2010), so I was wondering whether it's difficult to tune the engine to be more efficient. Or would it be a better use of money to buy a more fuel efficient engine and drop it in a 3rd Gen body?

[ffrcobra_65]

Originally Posted by ZEMSKARTER

I like the notion of having two generations of Camaros and I like the idea of restoring/working on a 3rd gen that I could buy for relatively cheap. What I don't like is what the reported mileage was (16/25, not really better than my 2010), so I was wondering whether it's difficult to tune the engine to be more efficient. Or would it be a better use of money to buy a more fuel efficient engine and drop it in a 3rd Gen body?

this your joke?

what are you smoking man.

[NoUCantDriveIt]

Originally Posted by ffrcobra_65

this your joke?

what are you smoking man.

Blonde joke in reverse?

[Mark A Collier Sr]

Seeing Trees
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.

The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."

The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
State Capitals
There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke. One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb. She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.

That night when he got home he told his joke. She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."

He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"

She quickly replied, "M"!


====================================




A Night In Mexico
Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from Grace University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens.

They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I am from the Creighton School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.

Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Alabama, Huntsville and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

[Big Brunsy]

whats this doing on page 2, almost 3???

[svsv]

A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack
full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood
and pulled it off revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer
without a moments hesitation.

He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight
at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone else, by now very scared,
looked intently down at the floor in silence.


The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"

There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to
speak. Then, one old cowboy tentatively raised his hand, and while keeping his
head down said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you."

[philthy]

How pumpkin pie is really made....

[Iwantone2]

Originally Posted by philthy

How pumpkin pie is really made....

...