Dating question

[bigted83]

Alright I need some advice, girls feel free to chip in


Alright there's this girl I dated at one time for 9 months, and we broke up and didn't talk for sometime. Then we started talkIng again she made first contact. And dated again split up again, then we started talking again after she made first contact again. Dated again and everything. Then again split up. So then she started dating this other guy and we would talk thru text.they have split up and her and I are hanging out again and talking about dating if I change. I get jealous like u wouldn't believe. She has guy friends she texts and it bothers me cuz I assume she's doing something and I always need to be reassured and crap. She says she wants to be with me,but I'm not sure she really does. But then if I didn't mean anything to her she wouldn't talk to me or hang out with me? Is she playing me? As much as I want a camaro I would easily give up the camaro to be with her. This girl is and means the world to me?

Ted Williams

[bigted83]

What should I do?

[Apex Motorsports]

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Albert Einstein

[Wilburbeest]

I guess I would ask yourself if the issue is something she's doing or your insecurity. You don't really say anything about what caused previous breakups other than that you mentioned being bothered by her guy friends. Even if it is solely an insecurity issue on your part you still have to ask yourself if that's something you can get over and have it not be a problem for you.

[bigted83]

Well when she was with that guy after me she would hang out with me and everything and tell that guy she was at her parents. And her and I are at the moment are only friends. I get jelous if we go and hang out and she talks to other guys. I assume that since she did that to that guy she did it to me when we was dating. And she'll go out and do all kinds of things with her other female and guy friends but won't do that stuff with me. I admit when we first dated I did something wrong and I regret it. But she stuck with me. And she says she stil would like to date me just if I would get over my jealousy, but then I wonder why she would want to be with me after I did what I done. When she has other guy friends she could date. I also at times wish she would just let me alone and foret about me

[Big Brunsy]

My advise after going thru something almost similar....just turn your back and find a diff girl. she sounds like my X-wife....who I found out was screwing most of her guy 'friends'

[bigted83]

I want this girl more than anything. Then I also think with all these guys friends and she will go out and forget about me.

[bigted83]

That's the only thing that gets me I think she's doing it to me. She could be and then she couldn't. I've tried so hard to let her go but I'm worried that i won't find a girl as cool as her. Her not doing what she does what she does with her friends bother me. I'm a mess

[bigted83]

And good god I'm a chickenshit when it comes to talking to girls

[Mindz]

Drop her. Seriously. If it hasn't worked after the third time, obviously she hasn't changed to accomodate you just as much as you haven't changed to accomodate her.

You are just two different people. If she's unwilling to compromise in a mutual relationship, you won't be happy with her. You'll be a whipped pansy more than likely.

If you're scared to talk to women, try a dating site/service like eharmony or whatever. a friend of mine has been dating this guy for more than 2 years and it made a believer out of me.

My main advice is to make yourself happy once in a while. If you worry too much about what other people think all the time, you might be able to please them, but you won't be happy yourself.

[Dr Jkel]

Run, Run very fast.

[prostock69]

Originally Posted by bigted83

Alright I need some advice, girls feel free to chip in


Alright there's this girl I dated at one time for 9 months, and we broke up and didn't talk for sometime. Then we started talkIng again she made first contact. And dated again split up again, then we started talking again after she made first contact again. Dated again and everything. Then again split up. So then she started dating this other guy and we would talk thru text.they have split up and her and I are hanging out again and talking about dating if I change. I get jealous like u wouldn't believe. She has guy friends she texts and it bothers me cuz I assume she's doing something and I always need to be reassured and crap. She says she wants to be with me,but I'm not sure she really does. But then if I didn't mean anything to her she wouldn't talk to me or hang out with me? Is she playing me? As much as I want a camaro I would easily give up the camaro to be with her. This girl is and means the world to me?

Ted Williams

It seems to me, from what you have written, that she is using you or playing you, as you stated. You are like a pair of comfortable shoes. She keeps putting you on after the new shoes start hurting her feet. Then she gets a hankering for a new pair of shoes again and ends up putting you back in the closet. In other words, she doesn't want to lose you as her backup so she's stringing you along while dating other guys. Don't enable this game she is playing by going back with her when she makes contact. Cut the strings permanently and move on. If she contacts you again, just say no. Put your emotional energy into new relationships. Believe me, you will not regret it.

[prostock69]

Originally Posted by bigted83

I want this girl more than anything. Then I also think with all these guys friends and she will go out and forget about me.

See my response above. She knows you want her which makes it so easy for her to play you. Don't be a door mat. Girls like strong men physically and mentally. And don't forget, you teach people how to treat you. If she is treating you like a second rate boyfriend it's because you have allowed her to do so. Stop the cycle and move on without her.

[bigted83]

Thank you so much