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mastertypodemon · 05-22-2012, 02:03 AM

Following the death of Quasimodo. the Bishop of the Cathedral Church of Notre Dame sent word throughout the streets of Paris that a new bellringer would need to be appointed. The Bishop decided that he would himself conduct the interviews, and went up into the belfry to interview the candidates. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day, when an armless man approached him announcing that he was there to apply for the post.. The Bishop, incredulous declared, " My Son, you have no arms!" " No matter" replied the man. He then proceeded to strike the bells with his face, producing the most beautiful melody on the carillon. The Bishop was astonished, believing he had indeed found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. But in rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry to his death in the street below. The Bishop, stunned rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beauty of the music they had heard, but a moment before. As they parted in silence to allow the Bishop through, one of the number asked " Bishop, who was this man?"

"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face sure rings a bell."

2001ragtop · 05-22-2012, 10:30 AM

Guy comes downstairs wearing his halloween costume to show his wife and he is completely nude except a potato hanging near his privates.

Wife says: What are you supposed to be? Husband: I'm a dictator.

Wife goes upstairs, then comes back nude and only has a lemon hanging near her crotch.

Husband says: Okay what are you? Wife: I'm a sourpuss.

PoorMansCamaro · 05-22-2012, 06:24 PM

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me—it was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her “little” sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word.
She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.”
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.
I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”
And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

90503 · 05-22-2012, 07:34 PM

Little Indian boy was in the tee-pee with his family one day, and asked his parents how he got his name. Dad said, "Well, when your sister was born we looked outside the tee-pee and saw a deer passing by, so we called her "Running Deer". Your brother, same thing, we named him "Growling Bear"....Why do you ask, "Two Dogs F*cking"??

mastertypodemon · 05-22-2012, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mastertypodemon

"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face sure rings a bell."

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart, the Bishop continued his interviews for a bell ringer. The first man to approach addressed him, "Your Grace, I am the brother of the poor armless man who fell to his death from this belfry yesterday. I pray that you will allow me to replace my brother." The Bishop agreed to an audition, but as the man took a mighty swing at the bell, he missed and fell out of the tower. As the parishners gathered around his lifeless body on the ground, someone called up to the Bishop, "What has happened? Who is this man?".

" I don't know his name," exclaimed the distraught Bishop "but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

05-22-2012, 06:24 PM	#45
PoorMansCamaro Drives: Really Slow Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: PA Posts: 56,957	I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me—it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her “little” sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.” I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.” And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car. __________________

05-22-2012, 02:03 AM	#43
mastertypodemon Late Night Crew Drives: 2010 SIM 1LT Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Stafford, VA [Formerly Dallas, TX] Posts: 1,057	Following the death of Quasimodo. the Bishop of the Cathedral Church of Notre Dame sent word throughout the streets of Paris that a new bellringer would need to be appointed. The Bishop decided that he would himself conduct the interviews, and went up into the belfry to interview the candidates. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day, when an armless man approached him announcing that he was there to apply for the post.. The Bishop, incredulous declared, " My Son, you have no arms!" " No matter" replied the man. He then proceeded to strike the bells with his face, producing the most beautiful melody on the carillon. The Bishop was astonished, believing he had indeed found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. But in rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry to his death in the street below. The Bishop, stunned rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beauty of the music they had heard, but a moment before. As they parted in silence to allow the Bishop through, one of the number asked " Bishop, who was this man?" "I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face sure rings a bell."

05-22-2012, 10:30 AM	#44
2001ragtop Drives: V8 american car Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Dallas, Tx Posts: 1,417	Guy comes downstairs wearing his halloween costume to show his wife and he is completely nude except a potato hanging near his privates. Wife says: What are you supposed to be? Husband: I'm a dictator. Wife goes upstairs, then comes back nude and only has a lemon hanging near her crotch. Husband says: Okay what are you? Wife: I'm a sourpuss.

05-22-2012, 07:34 PM	#46
90503 Drives: 2011 2SS/RS LS3 Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Torrance Posts: 14,425	Little Indian boy was in the tee-pee with his family one day, and asked his parents how he got his name. Dad said, "Well, when your sister was born we looked outside the tee-pee and saw a deer passing by, so we called her "Running Deer". Your brother, same thing, we named him "Growling Bear"....Why do you ask, "Two Dogs F*cking"??