just a quick question

[StephanieR1981]

maybe you could offer to pay half but i don't think you should be concerning yourself about what money your mom has because you really don't know her finances even though you think you do. in the adult world, the money you are saying she recieved really only goes so far...she could be saving something for your college education so you dont come out with a ton of loans. but dont act like she owes it to you because in reality she doesn't.

[99-LS1-SS]

Just because she has money doesn't mean she has to buy you what you want. Don't mean to be harsh but if my daughter came to me and said something like that you could be assured that you wouldn't get a dime of it.

I have a daughter and she isn't old enough to drive yet but when she is she'll be getting a dependable piece of junk for her first car. Very few teens are responsible enough to handle a new and/or fast car regardless of what they may think. When I was a teen I knew I was responsible and could handle any car but, looking back, I now know that I didn't know crap and I'm lucky as hell to be alive today. My first car was a 78 Honda Civic with a whopping 80 horsepower. Any more than that and I would have killed myself.

Just get a car to get you from point A to point B and deal with it for now. When you are able to afford it yourself then you can get what type of car you want.

[ddunerider]

Sounds like you need $3250.00 and four "A"s...........Quote Mr. Witwicky

[kjd15]

Originally Posted by StephanieR1981

maybe you could offer to pay half but i don't think you should be concerning yourself about what money your mom has because you really don't know her finances even though you think you do. in the adult world, the money you are saying she recieved really only goes so far...she could be saving something for your college education so you dont come out with a ton of loans. but dont act like she owes it to you because in reality she doesn't.

Totally agree.
If you do not have a job, who is going to pay the gas and insurance? Even if you have money saved up, if there's no income coming in, it won't last forever.

My daughter is 17 and talked about wanting a car since she was 14. My husband and I told her if she wants a car, she is going to have to get a job. Whatever she saves towards the car, we told her we would match.

When she turned 15, she got a job and saved, saved, saved. When she got her license, she had saved enough to pay $4200 for half her 03 Mustang, so we matched it.
She takes better care of her car than most people I know and pays for her own gas and half her insurance, still works at the same job and does well in school.

I would suggest attempting to show your mother you are willing to work for what you want and maybe she will change her tune about helping you out.
But remember, having a license and a car as a teen is not a right, it's a priveledge.

[rkmcmd4]

Originally Posted by Fotowns Finest

all of this sounds great and all, and im really happy your all not yelling at me about how foolish i am, and i do in fact agree with a lot of this, but my only problem is that shes not willing to help me out or compromise to help me at all. the reason im mad, and ill try to make this short, is that she has 10's of thousands of dollars lying around, and shes spent it on things we dont need, like a brand new fully loaded charger, which she replaced her old sebring with because it had a bad oil pump, and im sure thats cheaper to fix than getting a brand new car, she completely re-did our bathroom, bought a new sink, toilet and water heater, which we had already had before, and a new washer/dryer and one of those showers that fit into your corner, which i will admit we did need. but among other things we didnt need were 2 new doors, a shit load of windows, new siding, and bathroom itself was added on to. she also just bought 2 huge curio cabinets (seriously 8 feet tall and 5 feet wide) and an electric fireplace.

i approach her about a vehicle and she just gets super mad and tells me i need to work for things in life, which is great, but the thing is she didnt work to earn this money. she had her hip replaced and doesnt work anymore, is 59, retired, and doestn get her retirement check for another 3 years. she got $45,000 dollars when my grandpa died in march, and also got a check for $25,000 in the mail, something to do with my grandpa's stocks or something, idk. and thats why i get mad. i asked her if she would buy me a $60 video game 2 weeks ago, which i NEVER ask to do, its the 3rd video game i actually own, and she flipped out about it. i ended up having to go half and half with her, and even then she called me a spoiled brat.

its these things that add up to my anger. ive told my girlfriend about it, and she 100% agrees, and she actually asked me "so your mom got inheritance right? did you get anything?" so i asked my mom about this whole inheritance. ive had 3 grandparents and my father die, and i asked if they had left me anything. she said they had all written their will's before i was ever born. my girlfriend finds that hard to believe, and idk what to think.

with that novel completed, tell me what you think now. ive been wanting to post my story for a while now, as i know most of you have kids and know all about this kinda stuff, so please give some perspective and advice. also sorry thats really long lol, but please bear with me

questions are also welcome

fotown, now that you have put that out, PLEASE do not follow my previous advice and show her this thread.
with that said, you made a few points. its HER money, not yours. she did work before and has had medical issues to deal with not to mention raising you herself without the help of your father.(my condolances for you and your mother on the loss.) she has had to deal with a lot in her life as well as you have. please have compassion for her and not distain. she is bettering both of your lives and you are nearing a place in life you can help her out. the amount of money she has may sound like a lot, but it doesnt go that far. please help her and lose the deserving attitude. it will help you sooner than you think. also stop arueing with her rearead all the responses again and again until you understand them.

[Arkanian]

I have to agree with alot of the other parents here, I have two tean daughters, the oldest just kills me. She took her drivers ED, passed it, and then didn't take the responsibility to get the form from the school to get the permit at 15, even after the multiple reminders we gave her.

Now she is 17 1/2 and thinks we should just go ahead and get her a car when she turns 18 in six months.

I, like most of the parents here did not have help in getting my first car, I ended up saving $500 at age 18 in 1987 and ended up getting a 1975 Buick Lesabre, it was a boat and it had a huge dent in one of the rear fenders, but because I did this on my own my parents made sure I had new tires ect., get where I am going now.

Good Luck...

[67 Convertible]

Originally Posted by Fotowns Finest

she has 10's of thousands of dollars lying around, and shes spent it on things we dont need, like a brand new fully loaded charger, which she replaced her old sebring with because it had a bad oil pump, and im sure thats cheaper to fix than getting a brand new car, she completely re-did our bathroom, bought a new sink, toilet and water heater, which we had already had before, and a new washer/dryer and one of those showers that fit into your corner, which i will admit we did need. but among other things we didnt need were 2 new doors, a shit load of windows, new siding, and bathroom itself was added on to. she also just bought 2 huge curio cabinets (seriously 8 feet tall and 5 feet wide) and an electric fireplace.

This is HER money, not YOURS. Sounds like other than one or two things, she mostly spent her money on the house, which betters living conditions including YOURS. You live with her right? How much do you contribute weekly to the financial running of the house? Food? Heat? Electricity? Hot Water? Home insurance? Cable TV? Mortgage?

It's her money, you have NO right to tell her that she spent it on things you didn't need. Sorry if I've been harsh with my comments, sorry you were not included for any inheritences. Time to suck it up big guy, if you want something, go out and figure a way to get it on your own. Your Mom owes you nothing, she already provides a home for you. I am truely sorry for the loss of your Dad.

[Tanner]

I may be somewhat different than most here. I worked my butt off on my uncle’s farm to get money to buy my first car when I was 15. It was a 68 Camaro. I received no help what so ever from my parents…nothing. Now I help my kids as much as I can. I don’t want them driving Junkers and ending up broken down on the side of the road. We gave my son $1,000 for a down payment on his first car, a very nice 96 Pathfinder. It was an $8,000 vehicle. He made most payments and insurance payments. My next daughter got our already paid for 98 Camry when we bought a new Rav 4 for the wife. We pay the insurance to this day. She works and is going to nursing school. Our last daughter is 17 and has a part time job and we got her a 2006 Cobalt for $8,000 and she gives us $100 per month to help on the payments. I take the $100 and put it away for her. I’ll surprise her with the money when she needs something she can’t afford. We pay the insurance. We help our kids more than most because I don’t want them to struggle like I did. Some will say the struggle helps them learn the value of a dollar. I agree to a point. My kids have never been in trouble and they treat their vehicles with respect and know if the grades are down or if there is any trouble, the gifts will end. They help around the house and always ask if there is anything they can do to help out.
You should never expect your Mom to give you money she obviously earned by being a good daughter and helping your Grandfather when he needed help. If she felt like the house needed some upgrades, that’s her prerogative. It’s up to you to help her see your grades are good, you help around the house and are keeping your nose clean. If she sees this, she may soften up on you and give a little. Just remember, your Mom is only 59 and can’t work. Retirement won’t bring in that much money. Maybe she looked at her budget and feels she needs the rest of the money to live on. I know how you kids are, you want something and you want it now. Just remember that $70,000 really isn’t that much when you think about your Mom and her expenses for the rest of her life. Be the best kid you can, help her every chance you get, and for God’s sake get good grades. She’ll see these good things and will want to help you.

[Arkanian]

Originally Posted by Tanner

I may be somewhat different than most here. I worked my butt off on my uncle’s farm to get money to buy my first car when I was 15. It was a 68 Camaro. I received no help what so ever from my parents…nothing. Now I help my kids as much as I can. I don’t want them driving Junkers and ending up broken down on the side of the road. We gave my son $1,000 for a down payment on his first car, a very nice 96 Pathfinder. It was an $8,000 vehicle. He made most payments and insurance payments. My next daughter got our already paid for 98 Camry when we bought a new Rav 4 for the wife. We pay the insurance to this day. She works and is going to nursing school. Our last daughter is 17 and has a part time job and we got her a 2006 Cobalt for $8,000 and she gives us $100 per month to help on the payments. I take the $100 and put it away for her. I’ll surprise her with the money when she needs something she can’t afford. We pay the insurance. We help our kids more than most because I don’t want them to struggle like I did. Some will say the struggle helps them learn the value of a dollar. I agree to a point. My kids have never been in trouble and they treat their vehicles with respect and know if the grades are down or if there is any trouble, the gifts will end. They help around the house and always ask if there is anything they can do to help out.
You should never expect your Mom to give you money she obviously earned by being a good daughter and helping your Grandfather when he needed help. If she felt like the house needed some upgrades, that’s her prerogative. It’s up to you to help her see your grades are good, you help around the house and are keeping your nose clean. If she sees this, she may soften up on you and give a little. Just remember, your Mom is only 59 and can’t work. Retirement won’t bring in that much money. Maybe she looked at her budget and feels she needs the rest of the money to live on. I know how you kids are, you want something and you want it now. Just remember that $70,000 really isn’t that much when you think about your Mom and her expenses for the rest of her life. Be the best kid you can, help her every chance you get, and for God’s sake get good grades. She’ll see these good things and will want to help you.

[urugm21]

im 19 my gradparents helped with half of mine mines an 01 and it is GREAT no problems so far i got mine for 3200 id say find other ppl maybe your grandparents buses are no option either for college its a hassle trust me my college is about 25 miles away from home . im still in the process of paying back month by month due to i do work part time try to do the same see if it works out my parents well my dad which is the guy with money didint even bother, and my mom tried but our eceonomic stuation is not all that great youll find it cheaper wait a bit .