09-22-2007, 11:19 PM | #1 | ||
Truth Enforcer
Drives: anything I can get my hands on Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: anywhere and everywhere
Posts: 22,797
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weight loss
A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his
doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. Guaranteed like heck, he thinks to himself. But lets see what they think they can do. He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight loss program. The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nikes and a sign hanging around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, If you can catch me, you can have me. Well, without a second thought he takes off after her (like who wouldn't). A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through he kisses the girl one last time and thinks to himself with a nod, I like the way this company does business. For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure enough, he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat more slender physique, not to mention the method of treatment, he calls the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 LB weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their workout schedule might be like this time. As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reeboks and a sign hanging around her neck. She is simply stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, If you can catch me, you can have me. He's out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch her. But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She is wonderful, the best he has ever had. He is really looking forward to the next four days... For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds. I love this company, he thinks to himself, I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun. Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and subscribe to the companies 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program. Are you sure, sir? asks the representative on the phone. This is our most rigorous program. Absolutely, says he, I love your program. haven't felt this good in years! The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200 pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck. He introduces himself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, If I can catch you, I can have you.
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Never race anything you can't afford to light on fire and push off a cliff
A group as a whole tends to be smarter than the smartest person in that group until one jackass convinces everyone otherwise. Quote:
Quote:
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09-22-2007, 11:28 PM | #2 |
I used to be Dragoneye...
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That's great! Hahaha - just printed it out |
09-17-2009, 08:13 AM | #3 |
just can't seem to leave
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HAhaHAhaHAhaHAhaHAhaHAhaHAha
now that right there's funny!!
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Eve ('00 FRC): hot-air intake
Rowan ('09 H3): 5spd mom-mobile Penny ('99 Sierra): 5.3 / HD 5spd... gone but not forgotten Samson ('18 HD): compounded 408 |
09-17-2009, 10:50 AM | #4 |
SoCal C5 Family Member
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hahahaha that was hilarious
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My baby Jane!
I still love the Camaro |
09-17-2009, 11:11 AM | #5 |
I am the internets.
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Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
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09-17-2009, 02:39 PM | #6 |
Drives: 2010 Camaro LS Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,911
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09-17-2009, 02:42 PM | #7 |
Booooosted.
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Damn. This thread flies.
Funny shi* though. |
09-17-2009, 03:10 PM | #8 |
HWAY STR
Drives: 2010 RJT VIN#7085 & 2014 CRT C7 Join Date: May 2009
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~ HWAY STR ~
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09-17-2009, 07:16 PM | #9 |
Drives: My wife crazy with my C5 usage. Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DFW
Posts: 6,558
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Holy Crap that was funny! Thanks!
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UNDER CONSTRUCTION......again......
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