and THEN FIGHT STARTED - Camaro5 Chevy Camaro Forum / Camaro ZL1, SS and V6 Forums

Sir Nuke · 01-15-2010, 01:49 PM

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
******************************************
My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were i bed. I turned to her and said,
"Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....
******************************************
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
******************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
And then the fight started.....
*****************************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
******************************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
******************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
******************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
******************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
******************************************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....

Brokinarrow · 01-15-2010, 02:03 PM

nice!

luvnmycamaro · 01-15-2010, 02:11 PM

those are funny

skipj3 · 01-15-2010, 02:24 PM

Scrappy Doo · 01-15-2010, 05:05 PM

Fantastic

Iwantone2 · 01-15-2010, 05:15 PM

tones2SS · 01-15-2010, 05:31 PM

Funny stuff man!!!! lollll.....

NoUCantDriveIt · 01-15-2010, 05:32 PM

good one Nuke

mfr1950 · 01-15-2010, 06:14 PM

!!

mfr1950 · 01-15-2010, 06:17 PM

!!

*SSE 4 2SS* · 01-15-2010, 06:19 PM

and that counsellor promised my wife and I she was very descreet and professional.... "No, nothing ever leaves this office."....

Liar, lying b%^*&%...

Dammit

"prima"Donna · 01-15-2010, 06:28 PM

Good stuff...very funny...........

kutch720 · 01-15-2010, 06:28 PM

LOL, Good stuff!!!!

Hopper · 01-15-2010, 06:44 PM

I don't care who you are....that's funny! ROTFLMAO!

01-15-2010, 01:49 PM	#1
Sir Nuke Master of All Things Drives: '20 Corvette Stingray Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Southeast of Houston, Texas Posts: 22,331 View My Garage	and THEN FIGHT STARTED My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started... **************************************** My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were i bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And then the fight started.... ************************************** Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" And that's how the fight started... ************************************** I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!" So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?" And then the fight started..... ************************************* My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And then the fight started... ************************************** When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station. And then the fight started... ************************************** After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.' And then the fight started... ************************************** My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started... ************************************** I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"" Nah, she can order for herself." And then the fight started... **************************************** A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And then the fight started..... __________________

01-15-2010, 02:03 PM	#2
Brokinarrow Drives: 2012 Honda NC700x Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Indianola, IA Posts: 5,317 View My Garage	nice! __________________

01-15-2010, 02:11 PM	#3
luvnmycamaro Drives: Inferno orange 2SS Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Rawlins Wy Posts: 49 View My Garage	those are funny __________________ Musclecars rule

01-15-2010, 02:24 PM	#4
skipj3 Go Gators Baby!!! Drives: '11 2SS M6 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: SC Posts: 871	__________________ Oscar Wilde - “When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is." The Department of Redundancy Department

01-15-2010, 05:15 PM	#6
Iwantone2 Voice Of The Voiceless Drives: CGM 1SS RS Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: OC Cali Posts: 9,617 View My Garage	__________________

01-15-2010, 05:05 PM	#5
Scrappy Doo Drives: Callaway Rogue Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: W8n 4 Snow, Minnesota Posts: 4,738	Fantastic

01-15-2010, 05:31 PM	#7
tones2SS Drives: '13 Roush S3 '16 Ram Sport 4X4 Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 3,100	Funny stuff man!!!! lollll.....

01-15-2010, 05:32 PM	#8
NoUCantDriveIt Drives: 2SS RS M6 CGM/Black Rally Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Austin TX Posts: 5,098	good one Nuke

01-15-2010, 06:14 PM	#9
mfr1950 Drives: 2011 challengerR/T , 2010 Ram R/T Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Lafayette Indiana Posts: 1,186	!!

01-15-2010, 06:17 PM	#10
mfr1950 Drives: 2011 challengerR/T , 2010 Ram R/T Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Lafayette Indiana Posts: 1,186	!!

01-15-2010, 06:19 PM	#11
SSE 4 2SS Boosted Moderator Drives: Bone Stock LS3 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Marion Tx Posts: 15,499	and that counsellor promised my wife and I she was very descreet and professional.... "No, nothing ever leaves this office.".... Liar, lying b%^*&%... Dammit __________________ If the car feels like it is on rails, you are probably driving too slow. -Ross Bentley Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall. Torque is how far you take the wall with you. “If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.” Mario Andretti If you can turn, you ain't going fast enough...

01-15-2010, 06:28 PM	#12
"prima"Donna HWAY STR Drives: 2010 RJT VIN#7085 & 2014 CRT C7 Join Date: May 2009 Location: New York Posts: 13,118 View My Garage	Good stuff...very funny........... __________________ ~ HWAY STR ~

01-15-2010, 06:28 PM	#13
kutch720 Drives: Camaro 1LT RS Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Maine Posts: 353 View My Garage	LOL, Good stuff!!!!

01-15-2010, 06:44 PM	#14
Hopper Chevy Lifer Drives: '13 Caddy ATS, '10 2SS/RS ABM M6 Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Grosse Pointe Woods, MI Posts: 465	I don't care who you are....that's funny! ROTFLMAO! __________________ 2010 2SS/RS Manual, ABM, Grey Leather, Painted SIM Rallys, 20" RS Painted Wheels, A9167198