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Old 11-09-2007, 02:09 PM   #1
CamaroSpike23
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A story... probably old, but oh well

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...




Satan: "Why so glum?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You
a drinking man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we
do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, & Fresca. We
drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more! And you don't have
to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway."
Guy: "Gee that sounds great!"




Satan: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it"
Satan: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays We get the finest cigars
from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer no
biggie, you're already dead, remember?"
Guy: "Wow...that's awesome!"




Satan: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do."
Satan: "Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps,
blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't
matter, you're dead anyhow."
Guy: "Cool!"





Satan: "What about drugs?"
Guy: "Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?"
Satan: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big
bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares."
Guy: "Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"






Satan: "You gay?"
Guy: "No..."
Satan: "Oooo, Fridays are gonna be tough..."
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Nobody makes CamaroSpike happy. You just disgust him a little less than other people.

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Read that link that Spike posted, it'll tell you everything you need to know.
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Nobody makes CamaroSpike happy. You just disgust him a little less than other people.
"You can think I'm wrong, but that's no reason to quit thinking.”
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But not all people were born awesome like you, Spike.
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Old 11-09-2007, 02:15 PM   #2
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:12 PM   #3
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Heh heh, I thought he was going to end it with "The only problem is, it's always Friday"
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Old 11-09-2007, 04:11 PM   #4
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So a couple guys from Chicago die and go to hell...

Satan meets them shortly after they arrive, and they are partying like crazy.
Satan: "Whoa Whoa Whoa, why are you so excited? This is hell. It is supposed to suck here."
Chicagoans: "We're from Chicago. We love this warmth! This must be what California is like!"

So Satan goes and turns up the heat, hoping to make them really uncomfortable. He returns to find them celebrating even more.
Satan: "OK common. I just turned up the heat even further. What is wrong with you? It is burning hot in here. You should be in agony!"
Chicagoans: "This has to be what the Caribbean is like. This is paradise! We've never been this warm before!"

So Satan, finally catching on, turns the temperature down. Way down. All the way to zero, on the Kalvin scale. Ice cold. Freezing cold. Yes, hell froze over. Satan, again, finds the Chicagoans celebrating.
Satan: "What the hell. Its not even hell in here anymore. Its freezing. You should be back to your cold miserable selves. Why are you celebrating?"
Chicagoans: "The Cubs win! The Cubs win! The Cubs won the World Series!"
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Old 11-09-2007, 04:53 PM   #5
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......

lucky for you Im a sox fan...lol
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Old 11-09-2007, 04:53 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stovt001 View Post
So a couple guys from Chicago die and go to hell...

Satan meets them shortly after they arrive, and they are partying like crazy.
Satan: "Whoa Whoa Whoa, why are you so excited? This is hell. It is supposed to suck here."
Chicagoans: "We're from Chicago. We love this warmth! This must be what California is like!"

So Satan goes and turns up the heat, hoping to make them really uncomfortable. He returns to find them celebrating even more.
Satan: "OK common. I just turned up the heat even further. What is wrong with you? It is burning hot in here. You should be in agony!"
Chicagoans: "This has to be what the Caribbean is like. This is paradise! We've never been this warm before!"

So Satan, finally catching on, turns the temperature down. Way down. All the way to zero, on the Kalvin scale. Ice cold. Freezing cold. Yes, hell froze over. Satan, again, finds the Chicagoans celebrating.
Satan: "What the hell. Its not even hell in here anymore. Its freezing. You should be back to your cold miserable selves. Why are you celebrating?"
Chicagoans: "The Cubs win! The Cubs win! The Cubs won the World Series!"
I've heard the same one, but they were from Toronto and it was about the Leaf's winning the Cup
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Old 11-09-2007, 06:32 PM   #7
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I'm a die-hard Cubs fan, and we are long-suffering. Next year, we will prevail.
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Old 11-09-2007, 06:40 PM   #8
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I'm a die-hard Cubs fan, and we are long-suffering. Next year, we will prevail.
Leaf fans have been saying that for 40 years. It's quite sad really . . .
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Old 11-09-2007, 06:49 PM   #9
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Its been 100 years for Cubs fans. We are the longest suffering.
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Old 11-09-2007, 06:55 PM   #10
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Ouch.

Back on topic . . .
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