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Old 09-30-2009, 09:33 AM   #1
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just a quick question

hey all, im trying to convince my mom to buy my an 01 with 55K miles for "$6500 obo". now, this may sound extremely ridiculous, but for the time being im trying to hold off on a job as im a bit too busy trying to graduate, and its on craigslist, which gives me no time to save up that much that quick, so no posts telling me to get a job.

all im really asking is is for some advice from a parent, which i think most of you are, and what i can say to my mom to kinda nudge her into buying it for me, or at least helping me pay for it. i can promise money is absolutely no issue to her, and ive tried a couple of different things, but i cant convince her. any ideas on what i should say?
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Old 09-30-2009, 10:13 AM   #2
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I think your mom is very smart and you should listen to her. 01's weren't that great anyway.
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Old 10-01-2009, 05:56 AM   #3
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I think your mom is very smart and you should listen to her. 01's weren't that great anyway.
well not necessarily an 01, or something around $6000, but i wont settle for anything less than a camaro, and i kinda figure 4th gen is the way to go. all i want are some suggestions on how i can convince her to help me pay for one
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Old 10-01-2009, 05:59 AM   #4
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asking for parental advice

hey all, im trying to convince my mom to buy my an 01 with 55K miles for "$6500 obo". now, this may sound extremely ridiculous, but for the time being im trying to hold off on a job as im a bit too busy trying to graduate, and its on craigslist, which gives me no time to save up that much that quick, so no posts telling me to get a job.

all im really asking is is for some advice from a parent, which i think most of you are, and what i can say to my mom to kinda nudge her into buying it for me, or at least helping me pay for it. i can promise money is absolutely no issue to her, and ive tried a couple of different things, but i cant convince her. any ideas on what i should say?

also i hope this is the right place to post, i couldent see this fitting anywhere else
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Old 10-01-2009, 06:06 AM   #5
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Sorry nothing coming from me you would want to hear. My 16 year old treats the car she is driving like shit. It is my Honda Accord and she is doing little odds and ends for her mom to make the 53.00 she has to come up with besided me not giving her 100.00 allowance a month to make her half of the payment.

Finally have Kathie supporting me on coming down on her to keep it clean and take better care of it. My feeling is if you did not buy it yourself with money you worked hard to earn you will not take care of it. I would advise your mom not to buy it.
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Old 10-01-2009, 07:03 AM   #6
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I think we need to hear your mom's side of the story. She must have her reasons.
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Old 10-01-2009, 07:21 AM   #7
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Aw...the dangers of asking folks who have already raised a teen to support a teen's point of view. Those are dangerous waters Fotowns Finest.

For the moment, I will assume that the $6,500 car is a great deal. And I will assume that you are a top notch student who contributes to the family activities and acknowledges all that is provided to you. (NOTE: The other parents reading this are smirking right now, becuase these assumptions put you in an elite class of teens.)

But even assuming those things, I would find myself thinking that you have set your sights (well, actually your mom's sights since she is paying) about 2-3 times as high as you should for a first car if you can't contribute to the purchase. See, lots of parents think in terms of "helping" or "matching", but you didn't mention contributing to the purchase price.

Unfortunately, statistics show that the first car isn't going to last more than a year or so. At $6,000 that is the equivalent of asking your mom to spend $500 a month on a car for you. That is a lot to be asking. And I am not suprised to hear that your mom, or almost any parent is hesitant to do that.

I suggest that you consider asking your mom if she would be willing to "chip in" say $1000 or $1,500. Then put that with what you already saved and let that determine what price car you should be picturing now.

But there are more "adult" topics to discuss with your mom. Those include the $60-80 or more per month for insurance, the $xxx for gas to run the car. And then the cost of the upcoming repairs (battery, wipers, timing belts, tune up, oil change, etc). There are lots of costs beyond the car itself. You and your mom need to talk about how all those are going to be paid.

Hope this helps you see a few more of the things that your mom is thinking about, along with considering how you may be distracted from school work when you have the freedom to be driving around.

Now, if those first two assumptions at the beginning aren't accurate...then you may be more like my oldest teen. And there was no way in H_ _ L I was going to do this for her until after high school graduation, given all she put us through. But you don't want to hear about that.
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Old 10-01-2009, 07:21 AM   #8
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Not what you want to hear either.
I have 5 boys, the youngest is now 24. I have never ever bought any of them a car, and I probably could have afforded to if I desired. Just part of growing up and responsibility.....you want to drive, buy your own car and pay for your own auto ins. and maintenance. If that means getting a job to work for what you want in life, so be it. Hand outs were not part of my vocabulary when my boys were growing up. Now I'm not saying I haven't helped them out financially here and there, but I wouldn't buy them a car or co-sign a loan. At some point, you have to work for the things you want in life. It will aslo teach you respect for the things you do own. If you really need a car, you'll need to figure out a way to do it on your own. (You don't even have a job, but want her to buy a car for you??? Really think about what you're saying here!!!) If that means getting a PT job and buying a $1,000 beater, that's what you'll need to do.
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Old 10-01-2009, 07:47 AM   #9
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Don't rush into any car bro. Finish school first, and get things going for yourself (money, career). Deals come and go, you'll come across a better deal in the future. Take care of your priorities first. It's a much better feeling buying something with your own money anyways. This is advice from a 25 yr old.
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Old 10-01-2009, 07:53 AM   #10
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As the parent of a teen I have to agree with all of the posts above. If YOU cannot afford it, then be responsible and don't ask your mother to buy it. I told my son that if he wanted a car he would have to pay half. I was willing to pay the other half for 2 reasons.
1. He works hard in school and does well.
2. He will be helping the family with driving his younger brother and sister around to their activities and with general errands.
With that said, it his sole responsibility to take care of the vehicle (gas, maintenance...) Also, if he does not continue to do well in school or, does not help the family when asked, we, his parents, will exercise our 50.5% ownership in the vehicle and repossess it.
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Old 10-01-2009, 08:06 AM   #11
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sorry fotown, read on..
i feel one of the biggest problems in america today is the need for instant gratification, and the feeling we deserve it NOW. most of our parents/grandparents have had to work hard for everything they have. your mom is probably one of these people. she probably loves you very much, which means she wants to teach you not enable you. if she buys you the car she teaches you not to work toward a goal, and you dont have to work for what you want. basically enabling you to think the someone else i.e. the government will support you when shes gone.
be a productive member of society and put something back into your community and work, even if its only 10-20 hours a week, it shows effort and innitiative. save up 500-600 dollars. go to mom and show her what youve done. then go to mom and show her a 1000 car you are interested in. there are lots of them out there on the sides of any road in the suburbs! look for one that looks terrible but has low miles and runs good, it'll be a better deal overall. at that point i'll bet you she will match your money, because she saw your effort. doing this you will be able to get a car, gain her respect as a young adult.(this is much different than the love for a child), you wont have payments, and the coolest part is in a year when youve saved another 800-1000 you can sell this one for 1000 or so and then buy one for 2000 and still not have a payment. and so on and so on. each year you get a nicer car to drive and NO PAYMENTS!!! if you want a great book to read that will help you build your future and wealth. read Dave Ramsey's "TOTAL MONEY MAKEOVER"............again, sorry it may not be what you want to hear, but this will work. good luck
also, there will always be good, cool used cars on craigs list. not just this one.

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Old 10-01-2009, 08:08 AM   #12
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Fotown, your not getting beat up here, your getting great advice. show your mom this thread. if you dare to take our advice.
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Old 10-01-2009, 08:13 AM   #13
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No kids here, but i'm not that old. I beat the tar out of my first car. (And i got a brand new one when I turned 16, I didn't ask for it either. The rents just went out and picked it up for me) You need a pos to start with.
I am assuming that the car you want is an 01 camaro? Have you checked into what the insurance is on that?

Try to convince mom that you need a car to help out the family. Use it to drive your little brothers and sisters around, run errands for mom etc.

And I am not telling you to get a job, but I started working at 11. i balanced sports, school and work all the way through hs and college. It's not that hard to do.
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Old 10-01-2009, 08:49 AM   #14
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all of this sounds great and all, and im really happy your all not yelling at me about how foolish i am, and i do in fact agree with a lot of this, but my only problem is that shes not willing to help me out or compromise to help me at all. the reason im mad, and ill try to make this short, is that she has 10's of thousands of dollars lying around, and shes spent it on things we dont need, like a brand new fully loaded charger, which she replaced her old sebring with because it had a bad oil pump, and im sure thats cheaper to fix than getting a brand new car, she completely re-did our bathroom, bought a new sink, toilet and water heater, which we had already had before, and a new washer/dryer and one of those showers that fit into your corner, which i will admit we did need. but among other things we didnt need were 2 new doors, a shit load of windows, new siding, and bathroom itself was added on to. she also just bought 2 huge curio cabinets (seriously 8 feet tall and 5 feet wide) and an electric fireplace.

i approach her about a vehicle and she just gets super mad and tells me i need to work for things in life, which is great, but the thing is she didnt work to earn this money. she had her hip replaced and doesnt work anymore, is 59, retired, and doestn get her retirement check for another 3 years. she got $45,000 dollars when my grandpa died in march, and also got a check for $25,000 in the mail, something to do with my grandpa's stocks or something, idk. and thats why i get mad. i asked her if she would buy me a $60 video game 2 weeks ago, which i NEVER ask to do, its the 3rd video game i actually own, and she flipped out about it. i ended up having to go half and half with her, and even then she called me a spoiled brat.

its these things that add up to my anger. ive told my girlfriend about it, and she 100% agrees, and she actually asked me "so your mom got inheritance right? did you get anything?" so i asked my mom about this whole inheritance. ive had 3 grandparents and my father die, and i asked if they had left me anything. she said they had all written their will's before i was ever born. my girlfriend finds that hard to believe, and idk what to think.

with that novel completed, tell me what you think now. ive been wanting to post my story for a while now, as i know most of you have kids and know all about this kinda stuff, so please give some perspective and advice. also sorry thats really long lol, but please bear with me

questions are also welcome
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Old 10-01-2009, 09:15 AM   #15
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maybe you could offer to pay half but i don't think you should be concerning yourself about what money your mom has because you really don't know her finances even though you think you do. in the adult world, the money you are saying she recieved really only goes so far...she could be saving something for your college education so you dont come out with a ton of loans. but dont act like she owes it to you because in reality she doesn't.
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Old 10-01-2009, 09:25 AM   #16
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Just because she has money doesn't mean she has to buy you what you want. Don't mean to be harsh but if my daughter came to me and said something like that you could be assured that you wouldn't get a dime of it.

I have a daughter and she isn't old enough to drive yet but when she is she'll be getting a dependable piece of junk for her first car. Very few teens are responsible enough to handle a new and/or fast car regardless of what they may think. When I was a teen I knew I was responsible and could handle any car but, looking back, I now know that I didn't know crap and I'm lucky as hell to be alive today. My first car was a 78 Honda Civic with a whopping 80 horsepower. Any more than that and I would have killed myself.

Just get a car to get you from point A to point B and deal with it for now. When you are able to afford it yourself then you can get what type of car you want.
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Old 10-01-2009, 09:29 AM   #17
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Old 10-01-2009, 09:31 AM   #18
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maybe you could offer to pay half but i don't think you should be concerning yourself about what money your mom has because you really don't know her finances even though you think you do. in the adult world, the money you are saying she recieved really only goes so far...she could be saving something for your college education so you dont come out with a ton of loans. but dont act like she owes it to you because in reality she doesn't.
Totally agree.
If you do not have a job, who is going to pay the gas and insurance? Even if you have money saved up, if there's no income coming in, it won't last forever.

My daughter is 17 and talked about wanting a car since she was 14. My husband and I told her if she wants a car, she is going to have to get a job. Whatever she saves towards the car, we told her we would match.

When she turned 15, she got a job and saved, saved, saved. When she got her license, she had saved enough to pay $4200 for half her 03 Mustang, so we matched it.
She takes better care of her car than most people I know and pays for her own gas and half her insurance, still works at the same job and does well in school.

I would suggest attempting to show your mother you are willing to work for what you want and maybe she will change her tune about helping you out.
But remember, having a license and a car as a teen is not a right, it's a priveledge.
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Old 10-01-2009, 09:44 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by Fotowns Finest View Post
all of this sounds great and all, and im really happy your all not yelling at me about how foolish i am, and i do in fact agree with a lot of this, but my only problem is that shes not willing to help me out or compromise to help me at all. the reason im mad, and ill try to make this short, is that she has 10's of thousands of dollars lying around, and shes spent it on things we dont need, like a brand new fully loaded charger, which she replaced her old sebring with because it had a bad oil pump, and im sure thats cheaper to fix than getting a brand new car, she completely re-did our bathroom, bought a new sink, toilet and water heater, which we had already had before, and a new washer/dryer and one of those showers that fit into your corner, which i will admit we did need. but among other things we didnt need were 2 new doors, a shit load of windows, new siding, and bathroom itself was added on to. she also just bought 2 huge curio cabinets (seriously 8 feet tall and 5 feet wide) and an electric fireplace.

i approach her about a vehicle and she just gets super mad and tells me i need to work for things in life, which is great, but the thing is she didnt work to earn this money. she had her hip replaced and doesnt work anymore, is 59, retired, and doestn get her retirement check for another 3 years. she got $45,000 dollars when my grandpa died in march, and also got a check for $25,000 in the mail, something to do with my grandpa's stocks or something, idk. and thats why i get mad. i asked her if she would buy me a $60 video game 2 weeks ago, which i NEVER ask to do, its the 3rd video game i actually own, and she flipped out about it. i ended up having to go half and half with her, and even then she called me a spoiled brat.

its these things that add up to my anger. ive told my girlfriend about it, and she 100% agrees, and she actually asked me "so your mom got inheritance right? did you get anything?" so i asked my mom about this whole inheritance. ive had 3 grandparents and my father die, and i asked if they had left me anything. she said they had all written their will's before i was ever born. my girlfriend finds that hard to believe, and idk what to think.

with that novel completed, tell me what you think now. ive been wanting to post my story for a while now, as i know most of you have kids and know all about this kinda stuff, so please give some perspective and advice. also sorry thats really long lol, but please bear with me

questions are also welcome
fotown, now that you have put that out, PLEASE do not follow my previous advice and show her this thread.
with that said, you made a few points. its HER money, not yours. she did work before and has had medical issues to deal with not to mention raising you herself without the help of your father.(my condolances for you and your mother on the loss.) she has had to deal with a lot in her life as well as you have. please have compassion for her and not distain. she is bettering both of your lives and you are nearing a place in life you can help her out. the amount of money she has may sound like a lot, but it doesnt go that far. please help her and lose the deserving attitude. it will help you sooner than you think. also stop arueing with her rearead all the responses again and again until you understand them.
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Old 10-01-2009, 09:47 AM   #20
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I have to agree with alot of the other parents here, I have two tean daughters, the oldest just kills me. She took her drivers ED, passed it, and then didn't take the responsibility to get the form from the school to get the permit at 15, even after the multiple reminders we gave her.

Now she is 17 1/2 and thinks we should just go ahead and get her a car when she turns 18 in six months.

I, like most of the parents here did not have help in getting my first car, I ended up saving $500 at age 18 in 1987 and ended up getting a 1975 Buick Lesabre, it was a boat and it had a huge dent in one of the rear fenders, but because I did this on my own my parents made sure I had new tires ect., get where I am going now.

Good Luck...
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Old 10-01-2009, 11:00 AM   #21
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she has 10's of thousands of dollars lying around, and shes spent it on things we dont need, like a brand new fully loaded charger, which she replaced her old sebring with because it had a bad oil pump, and im sure thats cheaper to fix than getting a brand new car, she completely re-did our bathroom, bought a new sink, toilet and water heater, which we had already had before, and a new washer/dryer and one of those showers that fit into your corner, which i will admit we did need. but among other things we didnt need were 2 new doors, a shit load of windows, new siding, and bathroom itself was added on to. she also just bought 2 huge curio cabinets (seriously 8 feet tall and 5 feet wide) and an electric fireplace.
This is HER money, not YOURS. Sounds like other than one or two things, she mostly spent her money on the house, which betters living conditions including YOURS. You live with her right? How much do you contribute weekly to the financial running of the house? Food? Heat? Electricity? Hot Water? Home insurance? Cable TV? Mortgage?

It's her money, you have NO right to tell her that she spent it on things you didn't need. Sorry if I've been harsh with my comments, sorry you were not included for any inheritences. Time to suck it up big guy, if you want something, go out and figure a way to get it on your own. Your Mom owes you nothing, she already provides a home for you. I am truely sorry for the loss of your Dad.
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Old 10-01-2009, 11:47 AM   #22
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I may be somewhat different than most here. I worked my butt off on my uncle’s farm to get money to buy my first car when I was 15. It was a 68 Camaro. I received no help what so ever from my parents…nothing. Now I help my kids as much as I can. I don’t want them driving Junkers and ending up broken down on the side of the road. We gave my son $1,000 for a down payment on his first car, a very nice 96 Pathfinder. It was an $8,000 vehicle. He made most payments and insurance payments. My next daughter got our already paid for 98 Camry when we bought a new Rav 4 for the wife. We pay the insurance to this day. She works and is going to nursing school. Our last daughter is 17 and has a part time job and we got her a 2006 Cobalt for $8,000 and she gives us $100 per month to help on the payments. I take the $100 and put it away for her. I’ll surprise her with the money when she needs something she can’t afford. We pay the insurance. We help our kids more than most because I don’t want them to struggle like I did. Some will say the struggle helps them learn the value of a dollar. I agree to a point. My kids have never been in trouble and they treat their vehicles with respect and know if the grades are down or if there is any trouble, the gifts will end. They help around the house and always ask if there is anything they can do to help out.
You should never expect your Mom to give you money she obviously earned by being a good daughter and helping your Grandfather when he needed help. If she felt like the house needed some upgrades, that’s her prerogative. It’s up to you to help her see your grades are good, you help around the house and are keeping your nose clean. If she sees this, she may soften up on you and give a little. Just remember, your Mom is only 59 and can’t work. Retirement won’t bring in that much money. Maybe she looked at her budget and feels she needs the rest of the money to live on. I know how you kids are, you want something and you want it now. Just remember that $70,000 really isn’t that much when you think about your Mom and her expenses for the rest of her life. Be the best kid you can, help her every chance you get, and for God’s sake get good grades. She’ll see these good things and will want to help you.
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Old 10-01-2009, 12:48 PM   #23
Arkanian
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tanner View Post
I may be somewhat different than most here. I worked my butt off on my uncleís farm to get money to buy my first car when I was 15. It was a 68 Camaro. I received no help what so ever from my parentsÖnothing. Now I help my kids as much as I can. I donít want them driving Junkers and ending up broken down on the side of the road. We gave my son $1,000 for a down payment on his first car, a very nice 96 Pathfinder. It was an $8,000 vehicle. He made most payments and insurance payments. My next daughter got our already paid for 98 Camry when we bought a new Rav 4 for the wife. We pay the insurance to this day. She works and is going to nursing school. Our last daughter is 17 and has a part time job and we got her a 2006 Cobalt for $8,000 and she gives us $100 per month to help on the payments. I take the $100 and put it away for her. Iíll surprise her with the money when she needs something she canít afford. We pay the insurance. We help our kids more than most because I donít want them to struggle like I did. Some will say the struggle helps them learn the value of a dollar. I agree to a point. My kids have never been in trouble and they treat their vehicles with respect and know if the grades are down or if there is any trouble, the gifts will end. They help around the house and always ask if there is anything they can do to help out.
You should never expect your Mom to give you money she obviously earned by being a good daughter and helping your Grandfather when he needed help. If she felt like the house needed some upgrades, thatís her prerogative. Itís up to you to help her see your grades are good, you help around the house and are keeping your nose clean. If she sees this, she may soften up on you and give a little. Just remember, your Mom is only 59 and canít work. Retirement wonít bring in that much money. Maybe she looked at her budget and feels she needs the rest of the money to live on. I know how you kids are, you want something and you want it now. Just remember that $70,000 really isnít that much when you think about your Mom and her expenses for the rest of her life. Be the best kid you can, help her every chance you get, and for Godís sake get good grades. Sheíll see these good things and will want to help you.
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Old 10-01-2009, 12:48 PM   #24
urugm21
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im 19 my gradparents helped with half of mine mines an 01 and it is GREAT no problems so far i got mine for 3200 id say find other ppl maybe your grandparents buses are no option either for college its a hassle trust me my college is about 25 miles away from home . im still in the process of paying back month by month due to i do work part time try to do the same see if it works out my parents well my dad which is the guy with money didint even bother, and my mom tried but our eceonomic stuation is not all that great youll find it cheaper wait a bit .
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