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Old 06-25-2010, 06:12 AM   #1
hot_rod

 
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TGIF! - MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES:

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS:

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ..
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals..

NATURAL:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

I hope at least one of those made you smile and brightened up your Friday!
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Old 06-25-2010, 06:22 AM   #2
Jekyll-N-Hyde
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Old 06-25-2010, 08:00 AM   #3
Da Hose
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAH......
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GTAHVIT View Post
Hose,

I'd bet $100 that you smile like that all the time, even in your sleep... and you don't snore when you sleep, you giggle.

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Old 06-25-2010, 08:07 AM   #4
Shardik2SS
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Every time I read this list I laugh. So very true!

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Last edited by Shardik2SS; 06-25-2010 at 09:09 AM.
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Old 06-25-2010, 08:31 AM   #5
guiLT
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LOL!
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Old 06-25-2010, 08:34 AM   #6
Michael_Js
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Sharing on FaceBook!
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Old 06-25-2010, 08:34 AM   #7
kryptonian
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haha that was awsome. having just been remarried i can confirm all of that list except the kids part. but thats changing soon too.
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Old 06-25-2010, 08:35 AM   #8
kryptonian
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael_Js View Post
Sharing on FaceBook!
i thought about it, but its too long, most of the people i know have a short attention span.
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Old 06-25-2010, 08:37 AM   #9
tradosaurus
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Rule #1 A man is always right. Even when he's wrong!

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Old 06-25-2010, 08:39 AM   #10
motorhead
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hot_rod View Post
NICKNAMES:

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS:

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ..
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals..

NATURAL:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

I hope at least one of those made you smile and brightened up your Friday!
Wow! That is 100% correct. Nothing more needs to be said.
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Old 06-25-2010, 08:52 AM   #11
SSE 4 2SS
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A different perspective...

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe -
well-developed and open to trade, especially
for something of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece - gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past..

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada - cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN


Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by nuts.

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Old 06-25-2010, 09:08 AM   #12
Shardik2SS
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SSE 4 2SS View Post
GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe -
well-developed and open to trade, especially
for something of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece - gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past..

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada - cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN


Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by nuts.

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Old 06-25-2010, 09:37 AM   #13
gahammerle

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kryptonian View Post
i thought about it, but its too long, most of the people i know have a short attention span.
Just share one a day.
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Old 06-25-2010, 09:50 AM   #14
ghazzi1397
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Loooool
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Since the launch of the Camaro in 09, I've been dreaming of buying this car and finally today is the day. ORDER PLACED on 05/18/2010 for 2011 2LT CGM
(3300) Order scheduled for production, TPW 06/14/2010 [05/26/2010]
(3400) Order broadcast [06/15/2010]
(3800) Order produced [06/18/2010]
Available to ship from Osh [06/17/2010]
In-Transit from Osh [06/29/2010]
Available to ship from rail yard [07/08/2010]
Delivered [07/12/10]
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Old 06-25-2010, 11:36 AM   #15
Iwantone2
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Very good!!! thanks guys!!!
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Old 06-25-2010, 11:45 AM   #16
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Hey, hey hey, play nice now cause I "RESEMBLE" those remarks. Ya, go ahead, ya's can start with the blonde jokes soon too. J/K... Keep the stuff coming, I SO love this site..

Have a great weekend...
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Old 06-25-2010, 11:49 AM   #17
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Old 06-25-2010, 01:01 PM   #18
SSE 4 2SS
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaniacFan View Post
Hey, hey hey, play nice now cause I "RESEMBLE" those remarks. Ya, go ahead, ya's can start with the blonde jokes soon too. J/K... Keep the stuff coming, I SO love this site..

Have a great weekend...
Blonde and her boyfriend are driving down the road...

Blonde looks out the window and sees another blonde rowing a boat through a grain field...

Blonde yells at her boyfriend to stop, hangs her head out the window and screams at the blonde in the boat.....

"You can't row a boat through a field... It's dumb blondes like you that give us other blondes a bad name, and if I could swim, I would come out there and kick your a$$."
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