And let me tell you, I feel great.
I'm still wanting a smoke like you can't believe, and it's hard as hell.
It's hard as hell, It's hard as hell, IT'S HARD AS HELL to stay away.
But I know I will because I have to.
See, I have known that it would take my 40th B-Day in order for me to stop for some time. I'm just wired like that. I'm more of a 'benchmark occasion' guy.
I also know, that if I were to smoke right now, I'd NEVER stop. Because I would have to wait for another benchmark, 45 is not a benchmark, and 50 would be a bullet in the head. (another 10 years,
)
Now I have been a real DI*K to live with. And work with, and that may not change overnight, but let me tell you this:
I have been getting up about 2 hours earlier, going to bed at the same time and felling great. Rested and ready to go. Shit, it's 7am and normally I'm in bed til 8:30 on Thursday. Me and Bonnie don't have to be at the office til 9am.
I want a cigarette so bad it's not even a joke. I mean it's nuts. It's all I can think about. But I'm finally done with smoking. After 5 and a half years, I'm done again.
This time, I know I can never pick them up again. I smoked for 7 years, (18 to 25) quit for 9 and a half years (25 to 34) and smoked for 5 and a half (34 to 40) That's a total of over 13 years of smoking.
And sooooooooooooooooo much harder to quit the second time.
Chris (GTAHVIT) has been my number one supporter, and he made a valiant effort here a while back in my irpq11 non-smoking thread (for those of you who didn't know, my username used to be irpq11) and I let him and the rest of you guys down. But I can say, proudly and honestly, I am an ex-smoker again.
And CAM, if you're out there, please chime in and let us know how you're doing. (I believe he's on the road somewhere.)
Anyway, just wanted to let you all know.
PS, Bonnie almost killed me the passed few days.
