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Tough choice. Several ways to look at it. Family does come first.........always. But living life now is also important. Recent deaths in my family have greatly influenced by position on things like this. If you move & she feels you "dragged" her away from her grandkids she may never forgive you for it in her heart even if she never says so. It is not that far, so one advantage of the move might be that it may afford the adult kids & their children (grandkids) the option of weekend mini vacations to visit. This in fact could result in more quality time with them. That means you would need to be comfortable with them visiting & staying with you guys often and getting a place with enough room for them to be able to stay there. The flip side is that since it is so close no reason you could not do more weekend trips there yourselves & stay where you are. I do feel it is very important to live in the moment. You never know what tomorrow may hold & regret over what you could have/should have done are tough to deal with. Bottom line, you guys need to have a real heart to heart talk about your priorities & what is truly best for both of you. Whatever you decide, make it a point to have as much fun now as you can. That is what my husband & I plan to do.
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