HOLY COW.
Being a female myself that really pisses me off reading that. I would NOT let it go. I would take it as far as possible. It's ordered in YOUR name, it is going to be YOUR car.
GET legal. Make it right. I am sure you will get a lot of help from this board. I am also #1 at my dealer, and my order was picked up today. I have been weary of it the whole time, but so far, they have been good to me.
You and I sound a lot alike....I to have bought 4 cars from my dealer.
KEEP us informed to let us know what happens. Be strong and assert yourself