Quote:
Originally Posted by Ark5thGenGirl
Basically, it boils down to having to make a choice.
I've been seeing a great guy. Known him for years (he was friends with an ex of mine in college) and he and I have been having a wonderful time together. I like him more every day. I could see us having a great future together.
Then I have my ex, who really hurt me. I gave him multiple chances to make things right with me-- but he continued to lie, cheat on me and drink too much. To be fair to him, he has had a very rough life-- his brother died in high school, his dad abused him and his parents got an ugly divorce where his mom got nothing and raised him and his sister in poverty. We're from two different worlds. I had to let him go because I couldn't handle the alcohol, abuse and lying anymore. I've given him no less than half a dozen chances to straighten it all out and until the last time I threw him out of my house-- about a year ago-- he never did try to make it right.
Now he is recovering from alcoholism. He's stopped drinking and is getting his life straight, and I'm seeing in him glimpses of who I fell in love with five years ago, and the man I wanted to marry. But he's done so much damage and my family and friends can't stand him.
Part of me has been waiting to see if maybe he could get it right this time-- and part of me is telling I should be with other guy. I don't know what to do, and it absolutely sucks. I'm terrified that if I choose other guy and it doesn't work out, I'll have lost my last chance with ex-fiancee. But another part of me says that it'll work out with new guy, who makes me very happy, and that my ex had his chance and I need to just really, truly let him go and go be happy with new guy.
I don't know what to do :(
|
I know it's late, and kinda like Jewel said. I gave up on my ex-fiance because I was tired of all the same stuff you went through. Then I met my hubby now. My ex was constantly leaving me messages about men in the Army being a**holes and whatnot and that I shouldn't trust him. He even started following us places. I finally told him that we could start over as friends ONLY if he really cared about me. It was tough to not go back to something you already know and familiar with. It's scary starting something new. I took the plunge and went with someone new, everyone called him my re-bound guy. However, here we are 7 years at the beginning of January, still together. Our 6 year anniversary is next June, we have a handsome 4 year old son together, and another on the way. I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world. My ex has called me since checking up on me, but I make sure he knows I'm happy. He had his chance and he blew it.
Also, like all the other ladies have stated...follow your heart to the man of your future. I have heard it before, you can manipulate your mind to think what you want, but you can't do it in your heart. You may still have love/feelings for your ex-fiance but is it love love or just you care about him in a friendly way love. Those feelings will never go away, trust me, mine haven't and I'll always care for his health and well being and love him that way ONLY!! If your heart says to open it up to someone new and makes you happy, then go for it girl!!! GO GET YOUR MAN!!
