[Heydownhere!]

My main question for the moment is how do you deal with saying no to people? I get so tired of it. They push and push, until I have to start getting bent out of shape...then the mood is ruined and I look like a $#¥&^.

ETA:

I just don't understand people. I really do try, but people always ALWAYS derail me, and I let them, because I just don't know what else to say after they've shot down every excuse I have and won't even take "no" for an answer. I don't know what they don't understand about "You know that tray of brownies still in my oven from last week? Yeah, you need to take them or eat them, because I'm going to throw them out. I don't want them." How can you immediately after say, "ooh, cookies. Want to make them?" NO! I don't want cookies. I don't want brownies, either. I was good and I had 2, last week. I haven't touched them since. I don't WANT them.

When it comes to food I get really...weird. I want to do things my way, when I want to do them, how I want to do them. I hate that I get this way, because I really shouldn't get so upset about food, but when people start interfering with my food and my schedule my anxiety sky rockets. Especially when I just said I'm not hungry, and I'm trying to lose weight. I don't want it. Ask me 10 different ways and I STILL won't want it.

It just really, really upsets me and nobody seems to understand. I feel like I'm being backed into a corner and I don't like it. This is my home, and I shouldn't have to feel this way anymore because I should be able to control what food comes in.

Long story short, I ate a slice and a half of pizza and bread sticks tonight, and I'm not pleased with myself. Stupid, empty calories.

From now on, it's my way, or no way. I am so done with giving in. I'm going to sleep now. :/

Start again tomorrow.