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Old 07-20-2009, 08:19 AM   #6

Scrapppy666's Avatar
Drives: 2010 2SS/RS M6 Black/Black
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 1,281

Morning commute....
School buses and the people who drive them ALWAYS drive 5-10 mph under the speed limit... and lucky me I get to pass a school bus garage about half way to work, YAY!

Construction traffic.... Now I drive approximately 2.5 miles to work, 10 minute drive tops but I sit in traffic for 10+ minutes during the morning commute because people do not know how to move when the "overpaid sign guy" turns his paddle to "slow" apparently that means, leave 15 car lengths between you and the guy in front of you just incase he stops suddenly and you're arthritis inhibits you from pressing the brake pedal in time.

Lunch commute.... more of the same (I avoid the menacing construction area that ruins my morning/evening commute). By this time all of the degenerates who drive H2's and EXT's on 24's that we all likely paid for are awake and stopped in the middle of the f'ing road to bs with someone also WALKING in the f'ing road (sidewalks people, use them and I might not run you over).

Evening Commute... all of the bus drivers are returning their yellow diesel burning turds back to the lot (apparently they wait until I leave work to herd em' all back). More of the construction traffic from the morning, only now there is a police officer on either end pretending to conduct traffic (unless its raining, over 75 degrees or it's easier to do his job sitting in his patrol car eating a cheesesteak). Now traffic is at least 3x as thick as the morning commute so it takes an additional 35-40 minutes to get home (that's right 45 minutes to go 2.5 miles, and now we know why I average 12mpg).

Other traffic phenomenon:

Tunnels... people immediately go from 65 to 10 when entering a tunnel, and if your lucky it's a bright sunny day and by the time your eyes adjust to the under-lit tunnel you can pick aforementioned driver's taillights from your teeth.

Potholes... they are everywhere, always have been and always will be, avoid them carefully, if that means coming into MY lane to do so, apparently you have the wrong definition of carefully.

Street width... where I live the community is set on a grid, the streets are wide enough to have cars parked on both sides and you can drive a semi either way with 4 feet to the left, 4 to the right and 4 in between them, not $#itting you. I never knew that a 1997 Chrysler LHS could transform itself to be 16' wide, leaving me approximately 0" to squeeze my car between them and the parked cars along the side of the road (and if someone is walking IN THE F'ING STREET, forget it.

Parking spaces... seriously, just start painting the damn things crooked, maybe at least half of the people will get it right

Parallel parking.... HA!, 17 minutes later, three smashed license plate frames, multiple bumper scrapes, curb rash, a bent parking meeter and dead cat later... 3/4 of your car is still in the f'ing street.

The "tight squeeze"... kind of goes with "street width" from above... Threading the needle maybe?? I've seen my 87 year old grandmother do this hundreds of times, it can't be that hard right? A spot that I could tow a mobile home pulling a 747 behind it through... doesn't fit your Honda civic... amazing.

Gas stations... for the love of God, please start putting filler necks on the same side of every car... people obviously aren't intelligent enough or considerate enough to figure out, if you have to pull in and block BOTH pumps, you're probably not doing something right. Oh and if you're going in the store to buy a blunt and every three digit number lottery ticket, boxed.. don't park at the f'ing pump!!

Drive thru's... now that you've ordered 37 happy meals for the baseball team, 6 milkshakes for yourself and a 10 piece nugget meal (they are delicious)... can you let me out of line so I can go somewhere that has food left?

Stop - except right turn sign... Read much?

Right on red except between 7am - 7pm.... here's a watch, and a knife so you can stab yourself in the face

The light JUST turned green... if you honk at me the second the light changes, be prepared to travel the rest of the way home at 5mph. I didn't know I was supposed to pull a .003 light, I would have launched at 2500 instead of 800... sheesh..

Stopping for a red light... pretty simple stuff huh? When I drive I drive in front of the car in front of me, like looking ahead of them to see what kind of $hit they are about to get into. When you stop, like STOP stop, 100 yards from the cars stopped at the light... it causes EVERYONE behind you to slam on their brakes, and if I'm lucky the guy behind me got his 1978 International Dump inspected and his brakes work (as good as they could I guess).

Hit and run... Nothing better than owning a brand new car and having someone hit it while parked and being so kind as to not leave any evidence, including their information. Thanks @$$hole, I enjoyed my brand new car for 3 months... now it's forever tarnished.

Letting your fully loaded shopping cart roam the parking lot (just witnessed this yesterday)... if you're loading your groceries, dog food or stack of bricks and your cart goes exploring, bounces off of a nice shiny truck and comes to rest a few inches from the tailgate it just caved in and you say "wow look how close it stopped, it didn't even hit"... um yes it did, I just watched it bounce off of the tailgate and that taillight it just cracked...

Cell phone drivers at 5:40am... who the hell are you possibly talking to that early?

Riding the brake... if you'd like to piss me off, please get in front of me and hold your brake while you take off from a stop sign or proceed up a hill

ok I'm done, could keep going but I'll stop

Last edited by Scrapppy666; 07-20-2009 at 08:35 AM.
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