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Should handle the same, regardless of wheel/tire size. The only major difference between the two are the tire brand/type. Different tires can feel different. There will also be a difference in the ride between the 20 and 21 as the sidewall is smaller, thus the ride will be rougher and impart more road feel into the car. Smooth ride will be a byproduct of the tires being properly balanced and the road surface. The same road can feel different between different types/sizes of tires.
As for the power steering, there is a different feel with the electric unit over the belt driven unit. But it's consistent
The "not going to make it" is typically a driver issue. Are you actually turning the wheel so sharply that the tires are slipping/squealing and the car isn't turning? Or are you simply expecting the car to turn more based on the wheel input that you using? Most likely the latter. In which case, you need to learn how the car reacts. It does have variable input steering which changes based on speed.
Shifting can be affected by temp (ie: cold vs hot fluid). Try changing/upgrading the tranny fluid.
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