Originally Posted by Z28 HLR
Oh, NO! Say it ain't so!!!! This just can't be. It can't! You, the Master of the Registry, a staple in the Camaro5 Community's smallest but most important group!? I've been up all night trying to come up with a solution and have finally come up with what will be the best for all involved, providing comfort to your better half, and being able to keep the Z/28 in your garage. This operation is sensitive and must be carried out with finesse. It can only be utilized once in life and this your once, so you have to make it count. The only way this can work is for you to lie through your teeth and cry. Although, at first glance, it may not seem like the best solution, you will realize that it is the ONLY respectable solution.
1. As you get into bed, sit down on the edge of the bed and bend over crying. This is great because in the dark she will not see that there are no tears.
2. Tell her that you cannot get rid of "Carla" or "Beatrice" that she is part of the family and has gotten you through tough times. But be extremely careful when you pick a name for your Z/28. Avoid stripper names like Candy, Ginger (this would be especially bad if it was red - think Gilligan's Island) or any names of old girlfriends. Use something which is inoffensive, your first grad teacher (not your kid's hot first grade teacher). Giving your car a name makes it harder to get rid of, it is more personal. I made the mistake of calling one of my planes Ginger and it made it all that much easier for her to push me into selling it, referring to Ginger as the 'Red Headed Slut', so you are gaining valuable information that I am GIVING you, here...
3. Then, tell her that the market has dropped significantly due to political unrest. Blame it on Trump or Hillary (whichever is most offensive to you) as this strikes a cord with just about anyone right now. It's a good general way of laying the blame where there is no fast solution.
4. Explain that experts predict the Z/28 to multiply in value within the next 12-18 months. This is important. Keep it general and don't say 'a year' as this will guarantee your wife will place a great big X on the calendar and getting through this again on July 18, 2017 won't be as easy. 12-18ish months is awesome.....
5. Refer to Beatrice like the family dog, one the kids adore and love. Explain how you don't want to see their hearts get broken. Harp, on this one, sob a little, share a story about your dog Lassie that saved you from drowning when you were (use your youngest kid's age so she can relate). When she says, "You never told me this before", simply respond with "My Child Psychologist told me not to bring it up and let it interfere with the happiness of my life." Hopefully your wife is not a psychologist, but if she is PM me and we can find another way around it. Making sure that you involve the children in this racket is primordial. If you can somehow get one of them to come into the room crying at the same time would be fantastic, but could backfire on you as well if not carried out perfectly, so act accordingly. "Mommy is making us get rid of dear Beatrice who has been so good to our family...."
If all else fails, trade it in. You can buy used tires and this way hopefully your state allows your taxes to be transferred to a new vehicle. Hate to see it happen, but understand.
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