http://www.wheels.ca/reviews/article/782517
enzie: 10 dumbest options for your car
A remote car starter is a no-no, no matter how cold it gets.
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Looking to dress up your new car? Wheels' chief auto correspondent picks the add-ons he finds to be the biggest waste of money
Oct 21, 2009
Comments on this story (125)
JIM KENZIE
SPECIAL TO THE STAR
There's big money to be made on the options you order when you buy your new car: The mark-up on these is usually many times higher than on the car itself.
In many cases, crap you don't (or shouldn't) want is "bundled" (as they say in the industry) with crap you do want.
For example, if you want the ultra-desirable Electronic Stability Control system, which can help save your life, you might only be able to get it in a package that includes idiocies like fog lights.
Carmakers claim these are the features most customers demand, so they package them together to reduce ordering and manufacturing complexity.
My task here then is to try and reduce the demand for the stupid stuff.
There are also dealer-installed accessories or services, either factory-designed and approved, or aftermarket.
You, the customer, have complete control over these. Exercise that control wisely. Some are useful; most are stupid.
Here are the worst, in both categories, not necessarily in order:
1. Remote car starters
This is absolutely the worst thing you can do to your car.
Idling the cold engine, especially when the weather is also cold, can allow unburned gasoline to wash oil off your cylinder walls, which can damage the engine.
Not to mention the waste of gasoline, and the increased pollution this practice causes.
Your car too cold in the morning? Poor baby. Buy a pair of driving gloves.
A remote starter? Don't even think about it.
2. Fog lights
Fog lights won't harm your car, they're just stupid.
First, they don't work in fog. I live in an area where there's fog all the time. I have never driven behind a set of fog lights that did any good whatsoever.
All they ever seem to do when fitted to other cars is point right into my rear-view mirror.
BMWs and Mustangs seem to be the worst offenders, although SUVs run right up (er, down) there too.
A friend of mine used to teach at the BMW Advanced Driving School at the mid-Ohio race track. The chief instructor started each class with, "Ladies and gentlemen: the first thing we will do is turn on our headlights. The second thing we will do is turn off our fog lights."
Good advice.
He also said that the best use for a 12-gauge over-under shotgun was from 10 metres – you can take out fog lights in a heartbeat.
Now, THAT'S a good idea.
3. Sunroofs
The sunroof has been called the most-ordered, least-used option in the industry.
I hate them.
Despite the presence of air deflectors at the front of most of them, they often cause ear-rattling buffeting and turbulence inside the car.
The disturbance to the car's aerodynamics doesn't help fuel consumption either – you're actually better off with the air-conditioning running.
They reduce headroom, and add weight right where you don't want it – high in the car, which raises its centre of gravity to the detriment of handling.
The added complexity often requires repairs which are difficult and expensive to do.
Many of them leak; they almost all rattle.
Even when sunroofs are closed, reflections and random beams of sunlight can obscure the instrument panel.
Most sunroofs do have a screen to eliminate most of this, but really – what's the point?
Want open air? Buy a convertible.
4. Leather upholstery
Too hot in summer; too cold in winter.
Too slippery all the time.
It's hugely expensive to repair when it (inevitably) deteriorates.
Somehow, leather has been associated with luxury in cars. What a stupid idea.
A nice woven fabric upholstery is vastly better in every respect.
Treat it with Scotchgard and it will stay clean too.
Leave the cow skin on the cow.
5. Rear view mirror fashions
Air fresheners, baby shoes, St. Christopher medals, prayer beads, parking passes – anything, really – hanging from the rear view mirror.
Anything that potentially obscures your vision to the front of the car is a really stupid idea.
The worst of the worst? A CD.
A CD? Hanging from the rear-view mirror? Who came up with this stroke of genius? A dangling CD doesn't only affect your vision, but that of everyone around you when the sun reflects off it.
I mean, come on.
6. Transponder ignitions
A slot for the key fob and a separate starter button?
What a stupid idea.
I'm forever losing the damn key fob, because you don't have to physically remove it from the car to shut the vehicle off, hence you lose track of where the fob is.
Maybe it's in your brief case; maybe it's in your pants pocket; maybe it's fallen down beside the seat.
Maybe it's in your purse. Maybe it's in your partner's purse, and your partner has just headed into town for the day.
My dad's 1949 Ford had a separate ignition key slot and starter button.
By the time he got his 1954 Meteor, they had modernized it to integrate the key slot with the starter.
What a concept!
Stick the key in. Turn it one click to switch on the accessories. Another click for the ignition. Turn it a bit farther against a spring load and it activates the starter.
If someone came up with that today they'd award a Nobel Prize.
They say the most expensive real estate in the world is the dashboard of a modern car, because so many systems are competing for this space: airbags, air conditioning, sound system, satellite navigation system, instrument panel.
Why take up two spots on this critical location when you can do it all in one?
7. Paint protection
Your new car is painted with the best technology the world has ever seen.
Do you really think some kid with a spray can in a dealer's service bay is going to do better than that?
If you do, then I have a bridge in Brooklyn that I'd like to talk to you about.
8. Undercoating
Again, your car's body was very likely dipped in an electrostatic bath, allowing rustproofing coating to seep into ever nook and cranny, then painted several times over and baked in an oven to keep the rusties away.
That same kid in the dealer's service bay with another spray can isn't going to add anything at all, except another line item on the car's invoice.
I might allow that yearly spraying of the underside of your vehicle with oil might do some good.
9. Rear deck spoilers
Do you really drive fast enough in this OPP Commissioner Julian Fantino universe that your car needs the extra downforce rear deck spoilers are supposed to create?
The rest of the time, you're just creating added drag, which is increasing fuel consumption.
The spoilers I really love are the aftermarket units, probably home-installed, which are angled so that in the unlikely event of the car going fast enough for it to have any effect, it would create lift at the back, not downforce.
That is not what you want.
A similar thumb-of-the-nose to "go-faster" stripes – often checkerboard patterns on the rocker panels.
And don't get me started on flames on the fenders, okay?
10. Steering wheel covers
Don't see these very much any more, and praise be for that.
These are things you either lace onto the steering wheel rim, or they are held on by elastic.
The objective, presumably, is to make the wheel more comfortable in your hands, especially (I would guess) to make it feel warmer in winter.
So, what happens when the lacing comes loose or the elastic stretches with age, as will inevitably happen, and you have to make an emergency correction on the steering?
Exactly.
The wheel cover slips or comes off altogether, and off the road you go.
Again, if you have a problem with the wheel rim, you can sometimes get a replacement wheel rim, although that's harder to do in these days of airbags in the steering wheel hub.
Or, as noted at the very top of this list, get a nice pair of driving gloves.
TORONTO STAR