Help me write a story

[cypressh]

Hey guys and gals,

Got this idea from an old forum I was on.

Basically what it entales is posting one sentence to carry on the story. I will post the first sentence and other people will carry on the story by writing one sentence and so on and so forth for example

User A : once upon a time, in a land far far away.
User B : Lived a Camaro that loved to do donuts.
User C : but Donuts Are for Cops and are bad for you.

ETC.

I think this could turn out to be fun. I will update the story as we get moving so we don't have to go through post by post and figure it out from there. Again this story will go till it runs out of steam.


THE STORY SO FAR
Billy always wanted a Camaro, but could never see himself owning one let alone driving one. But Billy's issues went deeper than that. He was a recovering alcoholic, and had had his license revoked years ago. The deep depression he was suffering from that horrible, bloody killing, was still in the back of his head. Growing up by raising himself in a poverty stricken neighborhood of Detroit, he was forced to fight to survive and he began to enjoy it, until he went too far.

When he was only 12 years old, he would still wake up screaming, in a cold sweat, from that horrible incident, so long ago. But now, now he is putting that behind him. The raccoon recovered, but his tail is gone for good. Never again will he take a hand mixer to the petting zoo. Then, one day while browsing the Camaro forum, he stumbled across a poll,And the question was asked, V6 or V8? A flame war began, and there was much butthurt. Billy was thoroughly amused. He tried to suppress a fiendish grin as he posted trolling threads again and again... Billy thought getting a V6 would help his depression, it did not, made it worse!


Billy's friend Sir Nuke showed up to the party driving his new corvette, and that only made things worse. So Billy decided to find and kill NJScorpio to put an end to the polls forever. Sir Nuke was appalled by Billy's Motives for killing NJscorpio, "What'd you do that for" scoffed Sir Nuke. Anti Social Personality Disorder, that's what his shrink called it. Billy felt oddly proud of this fact as he started the address search for all of New Jersey. Billy thought the Vette was awesome, but he needed back seats to haul his pot bellied pig! So he wanted to get the V8 but became extra confused about 1SS and 2SS and the weight differences! Sent him back to the bottle...Bottle of pills that is... Baby Aspirin was his thing. Strangely the doctors had never heard of that addiction before, even Doctor Drew was baffled.


The doctors noticed that Billy would smile when they put the baby aspirin in his hands and would frown with regular aspirin. Baby aspirin made his hands look bigger. Turned out that he had a complex about his small hands... realizing at that point, he also had small feet. What else was Billy going to find that was small? His ego.Certainly not his ego, that was thick, and girthy...he then realised that he needed to do something drastic...pull off the greatest heist the world would ever see, money to buy all of the "ego" boosting cars he needed! In order to compensate he began a torturous workout regimen.He trained everyday for a year, until he could bench press a horse. Then one fateful night he met hrpii, to whom bench pressing a horse was simply a warmup.This pushed Billy over the edge into madness... It was a madness that he dreamed about for years. He wanted it so bad, he could taste it, and it tasted like chicken.


The thought of his mother made him Angier, she had huge feet and hands and a waist like Victoria Secret Model. But that wasn't the worst part, it was..That his mother was also his father.. And his father had control of a death star. Billy pushed those thoughts aside so he could concentrate on the task at hand- Carving his initials into his leg. The baby aspirin he had recently snorted off the toilet seat at the Greyhound bus station bathroom caused him to bleed even more than usual when carving druidic ruins into his skin. Suddenly, Neil Patrick Harris, Charlie Sheen, and Dan Bilzerian busted through the door, picked Billy up off of the floor and said, "no time to explain, get in the Delorean,"And then Charlie Sheen said "Dude, baby Aspirin is for babies. Have some Tiger Blood." But they forgot to pack extra plutonium for the Flux capacitor, NPH had in fact packed extra plutonium, but when he opened up the cooler, there was nothing except IV bags full of Tiger Blood. And it was the wrong Type-AB Neg. Now what, now they have to make a beer run. But Billy isn't old enough yet to Drink beer, not in the year of 1994, the year his mother/father had the first operation. Good thing they had a time machine. Too bad that Charlie Sheen had snorted the last of their plutonium. If they used it to go into the future, where Billy was old enough to buy beer, they could never come home. Unless they acquired some more plutonium. Then Charlie grinned and said "Relax. We don't need no stiking plutonium, we have something stronger. The strongest drug ever. That drug is Charlie Sheen, but be careful, or it will melt your face and your children will weep over your corpse." Charlie then took the entire team to the playboy mansion, but that was short lived as Dan Bilzerian kept throwing the models off of the roof into the pool. Just as Billy, Charlie, Dan, and Neil were leaving, a joint task force of ATF and FBI agents stormed the grounds...At first Billy was worried, but then the agents ran up to Charlie Sheen, and said "Sire, here is your daily shipment of Cocaine, Meth, Weed, LSD, PcP, Grain Alcohol, and Herpes Medication." Billy breathed sigh of relief. As Billy wiped off his sweaty brow with his tiny hands...Charlie then turned to the group and said "Guys...get ready for the time of your life, take a good look around, some of us may not make it." Then Charlie began dispersing his shipment from the ATF & FBI to the party. He realized that cuffs didn't fit him anyway, they would use a belt, and that brought back painful memories....It was sad that Charlie had been dead for four hours and he didn't even know it. Even Billy recognized a dead man walking, but those drugs, just too powerful to let Death have his soul now. So they pushed into the morning, were the Bunnies volleyball team was dominating them 1,543 to 2. Good thing Neil wasn't distracted due to Such trivial matters, he was a man on a mission- his mission was to out party Charlie Sheen. The psychic had warned him that attempting this was dangerous, and succeeding would most likely destroy the known universe, but Billy didn't care Once he heard Neil scream "Challenge Accepted", it was on and there was going turning back. Billy was ready, so he decided if he was going to help Neil accomplish this challenge, it needed to be done right, so billy rolled two jefferys and Neil and Billy proceeded to take this party to a new level. He popped a few baby aspirin, and tide off his own arm.Charlie handed him a spike from his own works kit, and said "You are about to boldly go where no man has gone before."
With that, Billy shot the Tiger Blood/Charlie Sheen speedball into his arm. The rush was intense, a mixture of freefalling and a kick in the nuts, Billy's head began to swim and Then his tiny hands took over!!! He no longer cared at whoever had big hands. Billy became at peace with his past and started rolling stuff up. Both tiny hands at once, and Charlie glared his way, and then Chuck Norris showed up, busting through the wall in a great blaze followed by non other than Mr.T who than bitch slapped Billy to make sure his journey was one he would never forget. Billy started to cry, but just as Chuck and Mr. T began to dance the tango Billy jolted awake, his bed a pool of sweat.


As Billy sturggles to open his eyes, relieved it was all a dream, Whew! He thought, it was all a dream, until he looked down at his chest and saw a tattoo that read "I pity the fool" he looks around shocked to find two playboy bunnies in his bed next to him, and NPH and Charlie Sheen spooning on the floor, with Dan Bilzerian no where in sight. Then he hears a chopper outside his window, with Dan in the pilot seat motioning Billy to get in. and all these gold necklaces, were, how, who...and why am I in combat boots... but Bill left for his next journey to the bathroom. "Incontinence," he thought, "I'll probably never get used to it." As he reached into the cabinet, looking for another fix of baby aspirin....his tiny hands moving gracefully around the other forms of medication "But neither shall my roommates, since I prefer to take a dump in the bathtub," he thought with a wild grin. He then left for the Delicatessen to get a sandwhich, neglecting to wash his hands. His stomach was rumbling, as he thought "I wonder if the deli serves old tuna, nothing makes my stomach happier than old tuna with bad mayo. Yes sir, gonna get me a sanmich and some 20/20," as he sat there and though about his previous career as a garbage man "$10 an hour, and all you could eat, those were the golden days," while taking a steamer, the rumbles have moved south! While Billy was in the rest room, he searched the cabinet with his tiny hands, and found a book titled
"How to write a story one line at a time with no continuity errors."

"Rubbish!" he yelled, throwing the book at the mirror, shattering it, the book that is. The mirror was plexiglass, "SOB" he thought to himself, can't even do that right, now where the hell is the other book, the book is titled,'5th Gen Camaro', well got more toilet time anyway, whilst realizing that the TP roll was empty he thought out loud "Chapter 8, Gen4, makes some great paper since the roll is empty."

"William!!!!!" his grandmother yelled, "Whats this POS mustang doing infront of the house?" Just than the flashbacks from his EPIC partying with the guys. Billy thought, only girls drive mustangs, and it was one of the playboy bunnies ' stang. He vaugley remembers doing lines of the white dragon off of their fake racks while speeding down the highway. "What was her name?" Billy thought "k....Ka....Katherine, right that was her name," Billy had a sense of joy about remembering that as the rest of the night was a blur.

He thought "Katherine, what a nice girl studying to be a neurosurgeon, also has a fantastic rack." Playboy bunny of the year 2013! He did not know why, but he felt a strange attraction to her. It was the same feeling he had with his mother/father. Could it be that Katherine also had "the Surgery". He thought about how to ask that question, without discussing his history with that problem. So he swallowed his pride and asked bluntly, " have you had THE operation? you know the one that gives you that 38DD chest, but yet stand while having to go to the bathroom? "There is something about you that isn't right", as Billy shook his pointy little finger at him. "This isn't my first rodeo, my first rodeo was the Angola Prison Rodeo at the Louisiana State Penitentiary. It sucked, he recalled, turning twenty one in prison serving life without parole. "There was no way I strangled that guy at Kentucky Fried Chicken with these tiny hands. But those biscuits did make my hands look normal, man I want some chicken now," he thought confusingly. Spurred on by hunger he made his way down to the kitchen... making sure to bring a Depends just in case... only to discover that all he had was potato salad and a tub of Cool Whip.



First Sentence

Billy always wanted a Camaro, but could never see himself owning one let alone driving one.

[Iron Lung Jimmy]

But Billy's issues went deeper than that.

[snymat68]

He was a recovering alcoholic, and had had his license revoked years ago.

[hrpiii]

The deep depression he was suffering from that horrible, bloody killing, was still in the back of his head.

[RGRCamaro]

Growing up by raising himself in a poverty stricken neighborhood of Detroit, he was forced to fight to survive and he began to enjoy it, until he went too far.

[hrpiii]

When he was only 12 years old, he

[Spartan01]

He would still wake up screaming, in a cold sweat, from that horrible incident, so long ago.

[hrpiii]

But now, now he is putting that behind him. The raccoon recovered, but his tail is gone for good. Never again will he take a hand mixer to the petting zoo.

[snymat68]

Then, one day while browsing the Camaro forum, he stumbled across a poll...

[Ragnar]

And the question was asked, V6 or V8?

[snymat68]

A flame war began, and there was much butthurt. Billy was thoroughly amused.

[Spartan01]

He tried to suppress a fiendish grin as he posted trolling threads again and again...

[Ragnar]

Billy thought getting a V6 would help his depression, it did not, made it worse!

[cypressh]

Billy's friend Sir Nuke showed up to the party driving his new corvette, and that only made things worse.