Teenager Attitudes

[tones2SS]

Originally Posted by 1320junkie

You said it brother!!!

[Captain Vlad]

All corporal punishment or the threat thereof did for me was to make me angry, resentful, and it continually decreased the amount of respect I had for my stepfather.

Why would I respect someone who had to start threatening me to get his point across. Answer simply is: I wouldn't, and still don't.

But I was an antisocial kid. Like another poster said, I just wanted to be left alone.

[kjd15]

Originally Posted by wrek

Well they told him to suck it up and deal with it. Whatever I say, goes. That if he wants to throw a fit and put holes in the walls, I can press charges for vandalism. If they have to show up, things have already gotten out of hand and the results won't be good for anyone.

We're going to find someplace we can go for counseling. This has gone on too long. The hair cut got his attention (I didn't go through with it but it got him to open up and talk to me).

Sounds like a step in the right direction. Hope things start looking up. One day, he will look back and realize what you did for him was for his benefit.

[CynAgain]

Originally Posted by wrek

LMAO .. thanks.

Mine gave me the "law" thing also.. I said "you want to call DHS? Call them... it will take them 5 minutes to call the police and it will take the police 10 minutes to respond. That leaves me 15 minutes of just alone time, just you and me. So here's my phone." Technically I think that was abuse but he shut up about it.

All you have to do is explain what really happens. If DHS comes and finds validity in his claims then he goes to live with complete strangers. You still get the house, his bedroom, the car, the xbox, family, friends, etc...

That usually works.

Originally Posted by 1320junkie

Nope..cut that hair off..and find other ways to rock his world a bit

Agreed. Individualism is a privilege.

Originally Posted by 1320junkie

and you are 13..is that what gets you inline or does timeout and talking get you straight?

P-Nut successfully runs his own house!

Originally Posted by Captain Vlad

All corporal punishment or the threat thereof did for me was to make me angry, resentful, and it continually decreased the amount of respect I had for my stepfather.

Why would I respect someone who had to start threatening me to get his point across. Answer simply is: I wouldn't, and still don't.

But I was an antisocial kid. Like another poster said, I just wanted to be left alone.

I agree with your statement. By the time my boys were teenagers they were taller and stronger than me, but not smarter... yet. You need to get into their heads with a delicate balance of love, respect, understanding, and fear. My boys may laugh when I say I'll still kick their ass, but there's more ways than one to skin that cat.

I will win.

[monkeywrenching]

Originally Posted by wrek

Well they told him to suck it up and deal with it. Whatever I say, goes. That if he wants to throw a fit and put holes in the walls, I can press charges for vandalism. If they have to show up, things have already gotten out of hand and the results won't be good for anyone.

We're going to find someplace we can go for counseling. This has gone on too long. The hair cut got his attention (I didn't go through with it but it got him to open up and talk to me).

Wrek, I hope things work out for you and your family. Has your son just recently started this lack of respect or has it been building for a while? I know that 12-15 are very tough years for boys with hormones and trying to fit in. Does your ex have discipline problems also?

[Ccecil]

Originally Posted by wrek

How do you cope.

My 14 year old boy is a monster. He has no respect for me, my wife or any of our stuff. He stomps around like he's in hell and we're the cause of it. He cusses at me and tells me he wants to go home (he lives with his mother).

What the hell do you do? You can't touch a kid these days or child services shows up... so beating him is out. Though in my day, I would've had a belt on my ass before I said F-you.

I think you should try listening to him... There is some sort of misunderstanding here. In my opinion one of the biggest problems between kids and there parents are they don't listen to their kids. They have this my way or the highway and it causes their children to rebel. Parents need to understand that some things their children HAVE to learn on there own. Now granted some things they just need to trust you on, but parents won't let there kids grow up. They shelter them way too much. This isn't directed towards you just my 2 cents.

I tell the kid to get off the xbox and go to his room for mouthing off and he replies "No". Well, yes. No, yes, no. You better get to your room. he's like "or what?" great, I got nothing.

Go get a sledge hammer and beat the **** out of his xbox. Then tell him to get his *** in his room. Do this if the first part doesn't work.

[Jamie Mac]

I've always said "the more your willing to then the less likely you'll have to". Provide him with the number for child services and ask him if he'd like to straighten up or have a reason to call it. Don't make false threats period. Follow through on whatever you say consequences are. Self esteem my ass, build that kid some character! I once asked my dad "or else what?" I didn't have to wait. I was tied to a chair and my head was shaved. Everything in my room went out the window. This was the 70's when long hair was still in. Going to elementary school with a shaved head was not fun. Good luck

BTW, I once saw in Dirt Rider Magazine where a father had caught his two sons smoking pot and lying to him. He drove them and their dirtbikes to work and had them watch as a roller crushed them flat. I think he got his point across to them.

[CynAgain]

Originally Posted by Ccecil

Go get a sledge hammer and beat the **** out of his xbox. Then tell him to get his *** in his room. Do this if the first part doesn't work.

Originally Posted by Jamie Mac

I've always said "the more your willing to then the less likely you'll have to". Provide him with the number for child services and ask him if he'd like to straighten up or have a reason to call it. Don't make false threats period. Follow through on whatever you say consequences are. Self esteem my ass, build that kid some character! Good luck

[1320junkie]

MY kids don't have rights until they are grown or paying bills...until then whatever I say goes.

[latinoslife]

sorry to say the good old belt wil work. my sister just got divroced and decided to dump her kids at my parents place i moved in to help them with the kids ( she is somewhere in mexico now we dont know wth going on) the youngest one is 7. he was a complete brat cursing at me and my mom. the problem was he was used to always getting his way he would cry and curse if he dint get a can of coke or candy. god forbid he ditn get the dinner he wanted. my mom was too nice so i decided to step up. little guy actually threw a dart YES A DART at me the metal sharp pointed one. once this happened i SLAPPED the hell out of him. once that happened he never ever raised a hand back at me or has tried to hit anyone in the house. sometimes its just what you have to do. sadly enough he is now scared of me. im not happy with this but hitting him was the only way to keep him in line. now that he listens more im resorting to the time outs its working well. but idk anything about parenting im only freaking 22 and pretty much addopted my 39 yr old sister kids aint that a Bi(Tch.

[latinoslife]

PS i have never bruised the kid i sounded horrbile lol i think he just needed that inital shock of holly crap he hits back

[CynAgain]

Originally Posted by latinoslife

sorry to say the good old belt wil work. my sister just got divroced and decided to dump her kids at my parents place i moved in to help them with the kids ( she is somewhere in mexico now we dont know wth going on) the youngest one is 7. he was a complete brat cursing at me and my mom. the problem was he was used to always getting his way he would cry and curse if he dint get a can of coke or candy. god forbid he ditn get the dinner he wanted. my mom was too nice so i decided to step up. little guy actually threw a dart YES A DART at me the metal sharp pointed one. once this happened i SLAPPED the hell out of him. once that happened he never ever raised a hand back at me or has tried to hit anyone in the house. sometimes its just what you have to do. sadly enough he is now scared of me. im not happy with this but hitting him was the only way to keep him in line. now that he listens more im resorting to the time outs its working well. but idk anything about parenting im only freaking 22 and pretty much addopted my 39 yr old sister kids aint that a Bi(Tch.

first of all, bless your heart for taking on such responsibility. second, you're going to need a fast download of how to be a parent. Seek out friends and family to help guide you. Esp. if the kids have been neglected as it sounds. You have the ability to change them and their the future for the better and I'll pray for you.

Originally Posted by latinoslife

PS i have never bruised the kid i sounded horrbile lol i think he just needed that inital shock of holly crap he hits back

hang in there. vent here not on the kids and you'll be fine.

[Ccecil]

Originally Posted by Jamie Mac

I've always said "the more your willing to then the less likely you'll have to". Provide him with the number for child services and ask him if he'd like to straighten up or have a reason to call it. Don't make false threats period. Follow through on whatever you say consequences are. Self esteem my ass, build that kid some character! I once asked my dad "or else what?" I didn't have to wait. I was tied to a chair and my head was shaved. Everything in my room went out the window. This was the 70's when long hair was still in. Going to elementary school with a shaved head was not fun. Good luck

yea if you don't follow through your son will keep going just to see how much he can get away with.

[wrek]

Originally Posted by Ccecil

Go get a sledge hammer and beat the **** out of his xbox. Then tell him to get his *** in his room. Do this if the first part doesn't work.

Screw that! I play it also! Maybe I'll put it in my room.. but the other kids play it also and don't have the problems he's having.