The Birth of Brandi's Twins [COTW 8/8/11]

[speedster]

Originally Posted by SSE 4 2SS

We have a senior mechanical supervisor on-board helping rebuild one of our EMD's... engines... and he and I were talking about my Camaro... imagine that...

He asked... "Is it a hybrid...???"

My response... "yup... it'll smoke your Vette and still get over 20 miles per gallon..."

He got and walked out...

Ha, ha, ha....

Originally Posted by Dr Jkel

That is funny as hell right there.

Glad you are doing well Dr J !!

[Dr Jkel]

Thanks B, Hopefully SST will up and running soon.

[SSE 4 2SS]

First, a little background...

We work in a salty air, and salt water environment... Salt gets into everything.... and corrodes EVERYTHING... Tools, equipment, the rig itself...

I had the barge captain come to me this morning with a air operated five foot long ratchet type tool, that wasn't working...

It looks like it's 30 years old, and they just got it about two years ago... It's been used once, and then was stored in the lower hull, in... you guessed it.... a salt laden atmosphere... It doesn't work...

Instead of storing it in the container it came in in one of the atmospherically controlled areas, it was leaned up against a bulkhead... where it has been knocked over, run into, dropped, and left for junk... until now when they actually need it... yesterday...

So, with no drawings or instructions of any type or a parts list, I am rebuilding the silly thing... the 9,000 dollar thing...

It amazes me when I see stuff like this... especially from people that are anal about their stuff when they are not on the rig.... Their attitude is well if it doesn't work, we'll order another one...

And that usually works, but damn, they are cutting into my profit sharing...

The part that kills me is they can't fix it themselves, yet they refuse to take care of it... dohhhhhh........

[GTAHVIT]

Originally Posted by SSE 4 2SS

First, a little background...

We work in a salty air, and salt water environment... Salt gets into everything.... and corrodes EVERYTHING... Tools, equipment, the rig itself...

I had the barge captain come to me this morning with a air operated five foot long ratchet type tool, that wasn't working...

It looks like it's 30 years old, and they just got it about two years ago... It's been used once, and then was stored in the lower hull, in... you guessed it.... a salt laden atmosphere... It doesn't work...

Instead of storing it in the container it came in in one of the atmospherically controlled areas, it was leaned up against a bulkhead... where it has been knocked over, run into, dropped, and left for junk... until now when they actually need it... yesterday...

So, with no drawings or instructions of any type or a parts list, I am rebuilding the silly thing... the 9,000 dollar thing...

It amazes me when I see stuff like this... especially from people that are anal about their stuff when they are not on the rig.... Their attitude is well if it doesn't work, we'll order another one...

And that usually works, but damn, they are cutting into my profit sharing...

The part that kills me is they can't fix it themselves, yet they refuse to take care of it... dohhhhhh........

Obviously you guys are about as close to being on a boat as it gets...

I can say from my time in the Navy... I know exactly what you mean... My dad preached and preached to me that taking care of tools and testers was part of wrencing. the job wasn't done till the tools were clean oiled and put away!!!!

Man, some of the worst "talkin to's" were over him not being able to find a tool.... that I used last...

When I was in the Navy, and I'd see how we'd treat some very expensive tools for Helo Maintenance... I mean damn... Blew me away.. I wasn't a maintenance guy but every now and then I'd clean and rebuild a ratchet or trouble shoot some test equiment.... The maintenance guys would get all pissed than an Aircrewman could fix their gear...

Any way... enough patting myself on the back... I Know your pain Rob. :(

[SSE 4 2SS]

Well, the wrench is fixed... in spite of the guys that use it....

They bought this 9,000 dollar wrench to perform monthly PM's, and for emergencies, and they used it one time when they first bought it and haven't touched it since...

We call if the Alabama Slammer with affection... A couple of people that have used it thinking no problem, have been slammed to the deck or flung across the space... Fortunately no one has been hurt using it... and after the first time of getting thrown around, they usually go and read the directions.... and all of them save one have been from Alabama...

I suppose I shouldn't use it as I was born there...

I basically tore the whole thing down and figured it out as I went... Had to make a basket full of o-rings and searched for two hours to find a bearing to replace one that was froze up... but it's running again... for how long, who knows....

Just heard a funny... to me it is... Our rig electrician is in the Starboard lower hull, and the elevator went out... and he is the only one that knows how to fix it... and it has to be fixed up in the caisson, so.... he may miss dinner.... lol... He's too damn big to crawl out the hatch... I'll go down there in a little while to see if I can help and to laugh at him...

He's a good guy and a good friend... he'll get over it... maybe I'll drop some down to him....

I'm really not a cruel person, but when stuff like this happens, the recipient is always the brunt of the jokes for a while.... No one gets hurt and the problem gets resolved... It's just an inconvience....and no situation goes without the victim suffering more than just the event out here... The offshore work environment is tough...and the people that stay any length of time are tougher... leave your feelers on the beach...

[Mr Twisty]

You'll have to post up some pics of the rig sometime. I bet some of the sunsets and sunrises makes you think it's worth it... for a few minutes anyways

[speedster]

Originally Posted by SSE 4 2SS

Well, the wrench is fixed... in spite of the guys that use it....

They bought this 9,000 dollar wrench to perform monthly PM's, and for emergencies, and they used it one time when they first bought it and haven't touched it since...

We call if the Alabama Slammer with affection... A couple of people that have used it thinking no problem, have been slammed to the deck or flung across the space... Fortunately no one has been hurt using it... and after the first time of getting thrown around, they usually go and read the directions.... and all of them save one have been from Alabama...

I suppose I shouldn't use it as I was born there...

I basically tore the whole thing down and figured it out as I went... Had to make a basket full of o-rings and searched for two hours to find a bearing to replace one that was froze up... but it's running again... for how long, who knows....

Just heard a funny... to me it is... Our rig electrician is in the Starboard lower hull, and the elevator went out... and he is the only one that knows how to fix it... and it has to be fixed up in the caisson, so.... he may miss dinner.... lol... He's too damn big to crawl out the hatch... I'll go down there in a little while to see if I can help and to laugh at him...

He's a good guy and a good friend... he'll get over it... maybe I'll drop some down to him....

I'm really not a cruel person, but when stuff like this happens, the recipient is always the brunt of the jokes for a while.... No one gets hurt and the problem gets resolved... It's just an inconvience....and no situation goes without the victim suffering more than just the event out here... The offshore work environment is tough...and the people that stay any length of time are tougher... leave your feelers on the beach...

Glad you decided to fix it...and then later abuse your friend. It always amazes me how many treat things when it is "not theirs" it is "the companies" never quite realizing that the money to buy a new one comes from somewhere. It isn't just printed (unless you are the US Treasury). $9,000 is a pile to just throw away. Anyway glad you got it working Rob.

Yeah, sometime post a few rig pics. It would be cool to see what you have been talking about. Kind of like "The Deadliest Catch". I can just see you out there in the salt spray...

[TAG UR IT]

YEAH!

WE WANT PIX OF THE RIG!!!

[SSE 4 2SS]

It's raining a little too much to take any new pics, but I'll post a few here and there that I have from over time...

The first image is the rig from the air... This view is from the bow (front) of the rig... The living quarters are under the heliport and pretty much the width of the rig...

The second image is the freedom bird coming to the rig... This is the only way we are able to get out here... We could come out by boat, but then we would have to do personnel transfers via the cranes, and that is pretty much frowned upon any more on floating rigs... plus, we work up to a couple of hundred miles offshore.... depending on the rig and the well location...

The third image is a picture of the BOP stack looking down on it from the top... This is only half of it though as the rest of it is at the bow end of the cellar deck, my work area, stacked on the test stump... The guy working on it is one of the roughnecks. We are in the process of repainting the entire thing...

Most of you probably saw one of these stacks in the video clips of the rig that sank in the Gulf... This chunk of iron sits on the ocean floor, attached to the well head when it's actually in operation.... It is what the video clips kept showing all the mud and oil coming out of... Fully stacked up, it's around 50-60 feet tall and weighs a few pounds...

[speedster]

Cool stuff Robert Excellent Pics !!!

Pictures always tell a story. Just like with Brandi. You can tell us all day long how she looks, feels, etc, but the first time you post a pic or video it all changes. Everyone paints different images in their mind until they see the real thing.

Just like with us. If we didn't have any pics of us on Camaro5 they'd still be thinking "Sasquatch" or "Abominable Snowmen" or "crazy 21 year old college guys" or something like that...

In the first pic I can just make out your ski boat moored to one of the supports...

[SSE 4 2SS]

Here are a couple more pics from my work area and another project I just took on...

The first one is a picture of the stack taken yesterday... Again, we are getting it ready for painting... It takes a little bit of prep time... The stack weighs around a half million pounds... It looks big in the pictures, but nothing does justice quite like standing next to it, crawling up on it, or even more so, working underneath it when we are moving if forward to land it on the skid beams as we are preparing to run it...

We use two gantry cranes to move it... and no matter how many times you work under it, you never quite get used to it, and certainly never get comfortable with it... The gantry cranes have a 7/8" cable, running through a ten block system... collectively they will pick the stack up and move it... Either by themselves will not, so,.....

The second picture is looking forward in the cellar deck... This is my primary area of work... I have equipment up around and on the drill floor area, the tensioners, the drill string complicator... ooops, the Compensator, but I'll post that stuff later... Here in the cellar deck is where all the big heavy work of rebuilding the stack is done... The big white piece at the forward end on the cellar deck is the LMRP, Lower Marine Riser Package... This gets picked up and set on top of the stack when we are preparing to run it... This is where all of the hydraulic controls are for the LMRP and the stack... We have the capability subsea of latching this piece in or unlatching it... The primary reason to unlatch would be an emergency, where we need to move the rig away from the well... Shallow gas blowout, or if something goes wrong with the controls and we need to recover the LMRP for repairs... We seperate this part and raise it to the surface... a several day job, and make needed repairs and then lower it back down, another couple of days, and relatch it to the BOP stack and go back to work...

The long cable laying on the deck to the left side of the photo are tensioner cables... These will hook to the slip joint... Remember, the rig floats... therefore it heaves and rolls and moves in all directions... but the stack and the riser are hooked to the sea floor.. Like a straw, the top of the riser string will move laterally, but not vertically, so we have a slip joint to allow for rig movement up and down.... If we move too far in one direction, we effectively also change the length of the string, so this compensates for that added length until we can correct the problem...

We pay close attention to the angle of the marine riser... If it is leaning, the rotating drill pipe in it will rub against it to the point of eventually wearing a hole in the side of the riser or the stack... This would be a huge problem....

The next two pictures are of a self contained hydraulic system used as a back up for operating the sea chests valves in the lower hull... There are two of them... both in the lower hull pump rooms... (port and starboard, or left and right for the land lubbers... these sit just about the bilge level, so they end up looking like hammered hell in no time at all... I am rebuilding this one for the Marine Dept... I'll try to remember to post a couple of pics of it when I'm finished... I promise you wont recognize it...

Port and left both have four letters... One of the nine thousand ways to remember the difference... It's like a foreign language... We don't even have to think about it, once you learn the language, you find yourself thinking in marine terminology... No one goes to the front of the rig...or the left side... bow, aft, port, starboard... athwart... etc...

[Mr Twisty]

Thanks for sharing the pics... Lot more complicated than I ever imagined.
Do ya'll eat pretty good out there?

Originally Posted by speedster

Just like with us. If we didn't have any pics of us on Camaro5 they'd still be thinking "Sasquatch" or "Abominable Snowmen" or "crazy 21 year old college guys" or something like that...

I don't think you've ever posted a 'face' pic on here.... for everyone that didn't get the privilege of meeting speedster, this is him...

....you gotta admit it's pretty close... attitude and all

....and ya'll have seen me, but this is me as a child

[SSE 4 2SS]

Bare with me for a second as I answer the food question...

We have people that work literally all over the world... This occasionally leads to problems with Tax laws in other countries... to resolve this, we do trade outs occasionally...

This involves a person from one rig swapping rigs with a person from another rig in a different part of the world... For example, if I had too many days in Brazil, which due to Brazilian law is never an issue, then I would go work in the gulf for 2 two week hitchs, and the person that normally works in the gulf would come work one 4 week hitch for me... As mentioned, Brazilian Tax Law is such that this is never an issue, but OMG is it a problem in Mexico...

So, how does this translate to food questions being answered...

I worked on a small jack-up in the Gulf of Mexico about nine years ago that had a 20 year old black guy that was the cook... OMG, the food was amazing... He could cook anything... I asked him one day where and how he learned to cook... He siad he learned in his "Momma's Kitchen," a small resturant place that only serves three main courses a day... Some type of Fish, some type of Chicken, and some type of Beef or Pork... and all the fixen's to go with it... I kid you not, this guy could have taken the boot off my foot and made it edible... steel toes and all...

He said that the only problem he ever has is trying to cook the same meals he learned from Momma for 50-70 guys... The recipes do not necessarily transfer just by doubling or tripling the ingredients... The Rig Boss (OIM), had aphone installed in the galley for him, just so he could occasionally call momma to ask a question... Putting a phone in the galley is normally forbidden since no cooking or clothes washing would ever get done... No, they do not wash clothes in the galley, but the Galley Crew is responsible for cleaning the rooms, washing the clothes, and cooking and cleaning the galley...

This guy made hand made from scratch yeast rolls every day... There was always a huge crowd in the galley when he pulled those things out of the oven.... he made enough to eat with every meal if you desired... I've eaten in five star resturants that didn't hold a candle to this guy and his galley... Wow, just wow...

So, back to the trade outs... When a trade out was taking place involving someone on this rig... this young man wasn't allowed to cook for the week or two that the trading person from some other rig was there... Small jack-up rigs have the least pull in the office, and if he cooked when the person from the other rig was there, he would get snatched up and made to go to another rig... So, he was possibly the best kept secret in the Gulf...

Now... for the rest of the rigs I've worked on... It's hit and miss... I've been on a couple of rigs where the food was decent at best, and thats cool... but I've been on rigs that I live on french fries and or peanut butter and jelly for 28 days straight... if we had peanut butter... If not, it was literally french fries... french fries... and more french fries...

The only problem with that in Brazil, is we have no decent bread... They make their own and it's ok to just eat, but it isn't ok for a sandwich... I've actually taken a bowl and put some peanut butter and jelly in it and smashed the bread down into it making a mush like substance that resembled a previously chewed chunk of PB&J, and eaten it with a spoon...

When I worked in Egypt, yeeeecccchhhhhhhhhh We had Camel, goat, and lord knows what else.... "Alll Bheeph"... ask the cooks, that speak only Arabic, and they say "alll Bheeeph..." < said like your coughing up a lung...

We had a camp boss, that actually smuggled bacon, what we call Canadian Bacon into the country from England, and at some time during the hitch... he would run the muslims out of the galley, line a pan with foil, and cook the bacon and made hand made crescent rolls and build a little breakfast sandwich... He would wrap them in foil and hand carry them to us all over the rig... That was a little piece of Heaven on Earth, since we could get no other form of pork over there, and who knows how long he would have rotted in an Egyptian jail if caught smuggling that stuff in...

In Mexico, we had a chicken boat... we called it that since 99% of what we ate was chicken... morning noon and night... When you work for Pemex, the Mexican National Drilling Company, you are allowed one coke a day... period.... and thats only if you are up at noon and able to get it before someone else takes it... I hated working in Mexico.... With a passion... Everyone in the office in Houston knows beyond a shadow of a doubt, if I am ever assigned back there, I will quit... I'll go be a Wal mart Greeter and Park my beloved Camaro in the same parking lot everyday before I will ever go work offshore in Mexico again...

[Merc]

Cool.