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12-07-2008, 04:19 PM
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#1 |
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Yes, that's my real name.
Drives: 2005 LS2 600hp GTO Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ventura, ca.
Posts: 770
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No sex tonight? (funny)
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?" I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.  not mine...it was on stumbleupon  source http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/60286784.html
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Magnuson 112HH supercharger at 7.5 psi (Virtual 9.0 liter) 600hp 1 of 2 torrid/red int /A4/05 555r 275/40/R17's Nitto Extreme Drags 1.7 60 ft Car runs high 11's No other mods. I got the first 112HH Magnuson blower ported for a GTO. Now it appears it was also one of the last....
 http://www.ribbonprinting.com http://www.personalizedawarenessribbons.com |
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12-07-2008, 04:27 PM
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#2 |
   
Drives: Aggressive Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Southampton, PA.
Posts: 1,086
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Black 2SS RS LS3 Inferno Int. '17 1LE replica 20's {MODS} KOOKS LT: Borla S-Type: Roto-Fab CAI: Hurst ST.: PFADT Stage 2, Trailing arms, Tie Rods: ECS BigBlower Cam: Fast 102mm intake: Brian Tooley racing dual spring kit: TFS pushrod set: Katech C5R timing chain: Mellings high volume oil pump: ATI Balancer: Ideal performance upgraded clutch master cylinder:Tick performance upgraded slave cylinder/throwout bearing: Mantic 9000 twin disk clutch & light weight flywheel: Tuned by Doug Ring at ECS. 475RWHP/445RWTQ.Dynapack Dyno.
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12-07-2008, 04:36 PM
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#3 | |
 
Drives: soon to be 2010 CAMARO :] Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 1,284
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that is amazing! LMFAO
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12-07-2008, 05:00 PM
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#4 |
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Yes, that's my real name.
Drives: 2005 LS2 600hp GTO Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ventura, ca.
Posts: 770
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still LMFAO!
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Magnuson 112HH supercharger at 7.5 psi (Virtual 9.0 liter) 600hp 1 of 2 torrid/red int /A4/05 555r 275/40/R17's Nitto Extreme Drags 1.7 60 ft Car runs high 11's No other mods. I got the first 112HH Magnuson blower ported for a GTO. Now it appears it was also one of the last....
http://www.ribbonprinting.com http://www.personalizedawarenessribbons.com |
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12-07-2008, 05:04 PM
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#5 |
         
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:seesaw:haha
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12-07-2008, 05:05 PM
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#6 | |
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Needs a Camaro
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 ROFLMFAO
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  I LOVE GM vehicles, and particularly Chevy's, but would buy any GM vehicle if I had the $$...Hopefully, one day, soon enough, a 5th Gen CAMARO!  Dave_O |
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12-07-2008, 05:05 PM
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#7 |
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just can't seem to leave
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great comeback
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Eve ('00 FRC): hot-air intake
Rowan ('09 H3): 5spd mom-mobile Penny ('99 Sierra): 5.3 / HD 5spd... gone but not forgotten Samson ('18 HD): compounded 408  |
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12-07-2008, 05:07 PM
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#8 | ||||
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Truth Enforcer
Drives: anything I can get my hands on Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: anywhere and everywhere
Posts: 22,797
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old but still funny.
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Never race anything you can't afford to light on fire and push off a cliff
A group as a whole tends to be smarter than the smartest person in that group until one jackass convinces everyone otherwise. Quote:
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12-07-2008, 05:08 PM
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We don't get to read everything that is ever posted on the internet like you do |
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12-07-2008, 05:08 PM
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#10 | |
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Yes, that's my real name.
Drives: 2005 LS2 600hp GTO Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ventura, ca.
Posts: 770
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Quote:
__________________
Magnuson 112HH supercharger at 7.5 psi (Virtual 9.0 liter) 600hp 1 of 2 torrid/red int /A4/05 555r 275/40/R17's Nitto Extreme Drags 1.7 60 ft Car runs high 11's No other mods. I got the first 112HH Magnuson blower ported for a GTO. Now it appears it was also one of the last....
http://www.ribbonprinting.com http://www.personalizedawarenessribbons.com |
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12-07-2008, 05:13 PM
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#11 | ||||||
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Truth Enforcer
Drives: anything I can get my hands on Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: anywhere and everywhere
Posts: 22,797
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Quote:
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__________________
Never race anything you can't afford to light on fire and push off a cliff
A group as a whole tends to be smarter than the smartest person in that group until one jackass convinces everyone otherwise. Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
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12-07-2008, 05:27 PM
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#12 | |
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Yes, that's my real name.
Drives: 2005 LS2 600hp GTO Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ventura, ca.
Posts: 770
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Quote:
craigslist greatest hits to be exact... 
__________________
Magnuson 112HH supercharger at 7.5 psi (Virtual 9.0 liter) 600hp 1 of 2 torrid/red int /A4/05 555r 275/40/R17's Nitto Extreme Drags 1.7 60 ft Car runs high 11's No other mods. I got the first 112HH Magnuson blower ported for a GTO. Now it appears it was also one of the last....
http://www.ribbonprinting.com http://www.personalizedawarenessribbons.com |
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12-07-2008, 05:42 PM
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Truth Enforcer
Drives: anything I can get my hands on Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: anywhere and everywhere
Posts: 22,797
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A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.
After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooosh! Plop!! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant 'Take another drink!' The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. Swoooosh! Plip! Plop!! Two arms pop out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, 'Take another drink! Take another drink!!' The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes. By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip!! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully gives thanks... The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief . The bartender sighs and says, 'He should've quit while he was a head'...
__________________
Never race anything you can't afford to light on fire and push off a cliff
A group as a whole tends to be smarter than the smartest person in that group until one jackass convinces everyone otherwise. Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
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12-07-2008, 05:45 PM
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#14 |
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36.58625, -121.7568
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LOL,
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I am seriously never serious vv V vv Next order of business  |
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