Bird Crap Help

[invaderzim]

Originally Posted by mikeyg36

Fine. Then use a razor. Or go down to the gas station and pour diesel on it. You ask for help then don't want to take it. Is mayonnaise so scarce where you live you just can't grab a bit and a towel and try it? Water based removers like goo gone aren't working are they? Surprise surprise....

That's what I get for being friendly...

[mikeyg36]

Originally Posted by invaderzim

Fine. Then use a razor. Or go down to the gas station and pour diesel on it. You ask for help then don't want to take it. Is mayonnaise so scarce where you live you just can't grab a bit and a towel and try it? Water based removers like goo gone aren't working are they? Surprise surprise....

That's what I get for being friendly...

I was kidding. It's just a bizarre answer, no need to get defensive.

[vroomapunk]

Originally Posted by invaderzim

Fine. Then use a razor. Or go down to the gas station and pour diesel on it. You ask for help then don't want to take it. Is mayonnaise so scarce where you live you just can't grab a bit and a towel and try it? Water based removers like goo gone aren't working are they? Surprise surprise....

That's what I get for being friendly...

Originally Posted by mikeyg36

I was kidding. It's just a bizarre answer, no need to get defensive.

Haha, wow, he took that personally. Maybe he just really likes mayonaisse.

No but really, dont spread any kind of food product on your car. There are billion dollar companies and engineers devoting their entire life to making car care products, id stick to those.

First, Id try clay bar ( i know this didnt work)

Then Id try Stoner's Tarminator Bug and Tar remover

Then Id try Chemical Guys citrus water spot remover (not just for water spots, removes deposits, etc)

If those dont work, you will need paint correction with compound and polish

The problem is that you probably dont have bird crap stuck in the paint anymore. The acid in the bird crap ate away some clear coat in a goofy pattern, that makes it very visible to the eye. All you can do is polish

[mikeyg36]

Originally Posted by vroomapunk

Haha, wow, he took that personally. Maybe he just really likes mayonaisse.

No but really, dont spread any kind of food product on your car. There are billion dollar companies and engineers devoting their entire life to making car care products, id stick to those.

First, Id try clay bar ( i know this didnt work)

Then Id try Stoner's Tarminator Bug and Tar remover

Then Id try Chemical Guys citrus water spot remover (not just for water spots, removes deposits, etc)

If those dont work, you will need paint correction with compound and polish

The problem is that you probably dont have bird crap stuck in the paint anymore. The acid in the bird crap ate away some clear coat in a goofy pattern, that makes it very visible to the eye. All you can do is polish

It just happened this afternoon so I doubt it ate through the paint today. I'm going to clay it when it cools down in a couple of hours and see if it works this time.

[fbodfather]

Important to keep the finish cool as you do this:

Clay bar it with a bit of soapy water --

Then - using an ORBITAL buffer - NOT a rotary one -- use a light 'cleaning polish' for clear-coat - it will allow you to get rid of anything that's on top of the clear-coat. Don't "Push" the buffer into the paint - let the polish and the buffer do the work....... I suggest you do this under florescent lighting as it will allow you to closer inspect what' really going on with the finish.

All that said: Depending on how long the 'effluent' was on the finish -- it COULD have etched the clear-coat and that may be visible under the florescent lighting. Believe it or not, but what "Robbie the Robin" just ate affects how fast the effluent can etch into the paint.........

If by that point you haven't been able to get the marks out, then I would visit a reputable detailing business. (notice I said reputable) to see if they are able to remove. If not - then I'm afraid it's a visit to the body shop.

The only thing I can think of that's worse than bird droppings (and acid) for a finish are eggs - they can ruin paint incredibly fast.

[mikeyg36]

Thanks Scott. I'll try it out and hope it works.

[2012InfernoSS]

Originally Posted by mikeyg36

I didn't. I was in the middle of a parking lot.

Oh shit lol.. they must have seen a clean car and bombed it then.. sry man

[invaderzim]

Originally Posted by vroomapunk

Haha, wow, he took that personally. Maybe he just really likes mayonaisse.

No but really, dont spread any kind of food product on your car. There are billion dollar companies and engineers devoting their entire life to making car care products, id stick to those.

First, Id try clay bar ( i know this didnt work)

Then Id try Stoner's Tarminator Bug and Tar remover

Then Id try Chemical Guys citrus water spot remover (not just for water spots, removes deposits, etc)

If those dont work, you will need paint correction with compound and polish

The problem is that you probably dont have bird crap stuck in the paint anymore. The acid in the bird crap ate away some clear coat in a goofy pattern, that makes it very visible to the eye. All you can do is polish

Where to begin....
I didn't take it seriously. Its why I bothered to respond in the first place. If I had I woulda just said screw it. Mess up your car then. I responded so he'd know I wasn't kidding. Mayo for a few seconds at best then wipe off. Simple. Would you like to know why his tar remover didn't work and won't work nor will your chemical ideas like citrus work? Which btw are all the same thing. or is learning something new just too much for you and I shouldnt bother wasting anymore time trying to explain?

Edit just to try and help one last time. Before you go off trying to polish it off or trying acids on it, if you're going to buy anymore remover makes sure they are oil based. Which aren't easy to find. Citrus smelling ones are ALL the same. And won't work simply because they won't penetrate the hardened crap. You need something oil based. That will actually eat at the bird poo.

[vinman]

Maybe miracle whip instead of mayo???

[jd10013]

what am I missing here? birds shit on my car as often as any other and I've never had to use a clay bar or even mayonnaise to get it off.

[90503]

This must be taken to another level...."Know Your Enemy"....A quick lab analysis of the material in question is called for here...Time is of the essence...A random autopsy of several similar birds in that area should reveal why this cannot be immediately remedied...

[RSloth]

Just go have it detailed. tell them to get the bird shit out. tell them to buff it.. it's gonna be a pretty penny but you'll have a pretty car. if all else fails you might have to take it to a body shop and get it repainted cause I'm pretty sure bird shit has acidic properties but worse comes to worse you get wet sand and re-clear.
sucks.
how'd you like California btw?

[mikeyg36]

Originally Posted by 90503

This must be taken to another level...."Know Your Enemy"....A quick lab analysis of the material in question is called for here...Time is of the essence...A random autopsy of several similar birds in that area should reveal why this cannot be immediately remedied...

Originally Posted by jd10013

what am I missing here? birds shit on my car as often as any other and I've never had to use a clay bar or even mayonnaise to get it off.

This isn't your normal bird shit, because if it was, I wouldn't have made this thread. This is some alien bird shit because it is literally all black.

[mikeyg36]

Originally Posted by RSloth

Just go have it detailed. tell them to get the bird shit out. tell them to buff it.. it's gonna be a pretty penny but you'll have a pretty car. if all else fails you might have to take it to a body shop and get it repainted cause I'm pretty sure bird shit has acidic properties but worse comes to worse you get wet sand and re-clear.
sucks.
how'd you like California btw?

It was great man. Thanks for asking