Best Speeding Excuses to Avoid Ticket - Camaro5 Chevy Camaro Forum / Camaro ZL1, SS and V6 Forums

StreetReporter · 06-22-2010, 09:06 PM

I'm going to let you all in on a secret...

It's the best excuse for speeding I've ever heard as both a former NYPD auxiliary cop and a veteran TV reporter (I've been colecting these excuses from troopers and other LEOs for 20 years).

A guy I know was getting pulled over for 50 MPH in a 35 zone. He immediately poured the contents of the Snapple Iced Tea he was drinking into his lap and tossed the bottle under the seat, all before the officer got out of the cruiser.

After handing over his license and registration, he told the officer "I had to pee so badly -- I was racing to get home, just around the corner -- but then I saw your flashing lights in my rearview mirror and I pissed my pants!"

The cop let him go with a warning. All it cost him was a bottle of iced tea and some laundry detergent.

The second best excuse I've heard was, "my wife is about to get preganant, and I've gotta be there!"

What's the best excuse you've heard?

FireonIce · 06-22-2010, 09:13 PM

I don't know if this is real or not but its good for a laugh.....

Two guys get pulled over. The driver knows that he is going to jail. So he reaches for the last beer and takes the Bud Light label off and sticks it on his forhead..... The officer comes up to the car and says "Sir have you been drinking tonight?"..... The driver points to his forehead "nope, I'm on the patch!"

CamaroVision · 06-22-2010, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StreetReporter

The second best excuse I've heard was, "my wife is about to get preganant, and I've gotta be there!"

Lol pregnant by another man and he wants to be there to watch? :P Funny but wrong use of words make it even funnier.

Havok · 06-22-2010, 09:54 PM

I forgot which SI magazine I read this, but it was probably one of them at the doctors.

Cop pulls over a kid and asks him why he's driving so fast. Kid replies "The sports illustrated swimsuit edition came in and I gotta get home before my dad gets his hands on it." (Not as in take it but as in sees it first). Cop let him go.

Huck1974 · 06-22-2010, 10:00 PM

Last time I was pulled over I was asked why I was going so fast. I said "it is a fun car". He let me go. In Missouri everything is fixed for a hundred bucks basically. You drop the money off at the lawyer and you get a letter a few months later telling you to pay court costs. Usually $60 or so. You can drive however you want if you have a hundred bucks.

xpanda305x · 06-22-2010, 10:09 PM

V-tec kicked in yo!

best excuse period!

PsykoTim · 06-22-2010, 10:19 PM

It's ok officer. I was only going 40 back there a while ago so you owed me 20.

DarkneSS · 06-22-2010, 10:25 PM

If you have a girl in the car say shes on her period and you were just trying to get her home, works EVERYTIME

StreetReporter · 06-22-2010, 10:39 PM

In 1990 in Colorado Springs, I a ripped smoky doughnut in my 1970 Monte Carlo and whipped around just in time to see two cop cars nose-in talking to each other.

I actually had just dropped off my girlfriend after a fight. I was super-frickin PO'd.

When the cop pulled me over I was looking straight ahead with a death grip on the wheel. I didn't even give him my license or registration, I just screamed "F**ing women, Man!!!"

I expected a "calm down sir.." or "step out of the car.."

Instead, the cop pats his hand on my shoulder and says, "I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. Take it easy on the way home."

hd926 · 06-23-2010, 12:48 AM

My wife ran off with a policeman last week and I thought that you were him and were trying to bring her back.

WiccaJew · 06-23-2010, 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StreetReporter

I'm going to let you all in on a secret...

It's the best excuse for speeding I've ever heard as both a former NYPD auxiliary cop and a veteran TV reporter (I've been colecting these excuses from troopers and other LEOs for 20 years).

A guy I know was getting pulled over for 50 MPH in a 35 zone. He immediately poured the contents of the Snapple Iced Tea he was drinking into his lap and tossed the bottle under the seat, all before the officer got out of the cruiser.

After handing over his license and registration, he told the officer "I had to pee so badly -- I was racing to get home, just around the corner -- but then I saw your flashing lights in my rearview mirror and I pissed my pants!"

The cop let him go with a warning. All it cost him was a bottle of iced tea and some laundry detergent.

The second best excuse I've heard was, "my wife is about to get preganant, and I've gotta be there!"

What's the best excuse you've heard?

My friend pee'd his pants for real and the cop gave him a ticket anyway. He told him that he heard that excuse to many times and that next time he should just save himself the smell of driving home with his pants drenched of pee.

mrray13 · 06-23-2010, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WiccaJew

My friend pee'd his pants for real and the cop gave him a ticket anyway. He told him that he heard that excuse to many times and that next time he should just save himself the smell of driving home with his pants drenched of pee.

Quoted for truth! Every third car has a bathroom emergency. Or they are going to a funeral in Memphis, or Mississippi. So I guess no one is alive in those states.

Be original, be funny. Not saying it works everytime, but it's a lot better then pouring tea in your lap.

Best one I've had was a oriental guy with broken English tell me that he had " stomach bad ache, got to poo." He was doing 82 in a 65. I told him if he had to poo bad enough, there was a tree right there, while I ran his information. He immediately jumped out of his suv, grabbed some TP, and headed for the trees. I lost it, his name, while I won't say it here, if twisted just a bit, would refer to a dong being of wei size. I was going to let him go, but he came back suspended. The best part was the dispatcher, who is gay, repeat the guys name back to me giving me the information, " Your W** D*** is clear, suspended."

gahammerle · 06-23-2010, 08:47 AM

I have a shirt that says: I wasn't speeding. I was qualifying!

UT-Engineer · 06-23-2010, 09:05 AM

When he asks you "Do you know how fast you were going back there?" reply by squeezing and shaking your legs and say " Sir, you can give me the ticket if you want, but can we do this at the nearest gas station..... I really need to take a big S#!t!!!!" Im sure you'll get off that one lol

06-22-2010, 09:06 PM	#1
StreetReporter Drives: 2010 Camaro 2LT RS Black on Black Join Date: May 2010 Location: Cincinnati Posts: 218	Best Speeding Excuses to Avoid Ticket I'm going to let you all in on a secret... It's the best excuse for speeding I've ever heard as both a former NYPD auxiliary cop and a veteran TV reporter (I've been colecting these excuses from troopers and other LEOs for 20 years). A guy I know was getting pulled over for 50 MPH in a 35 zone. He immediately poured the contents of the Snapple Iced Tea he was drinking into his lap and tossed the bottle under the seat, all before the officer got out of the cruiser. After handing over his license and registration, he told the officer "I had to pee so badly -- I was racing to get home, just around the corner -- but then I saw your flashing lights in my rearview mirror and I pissed my pants!" The cop let him go with a warning. All it cost him was a bottle of iced tea and some laundry detergent. The second best excuse I've heard was, "my wife is about to get preganant, and I've gotta be there!" What's the best excuse you've heard? __________________ "If at first you don't succeed, conceal all evidence you tried in the first place."

06-22-2010, 10:39 PM	#9
StreetReporter Drives: 2010 Camaro 2LT RS Black on Black Join Date: May 2010 Location: Cincinnati Posts: 218	In 1990 in Colorado Springs, I a ripped smoky doughnut in my 1970 Monte Carlo and whipped around just in time to see two cop cars nose-in talking to each other. I actually had just dropped off my girlfriend after a fight. I was super-frickin PO'd. When the cop pulled me over I was looking straight ahead with a death grip on the wheel. I didn't even give him my license or registration, I just screamed "F**ing women, Man!!!" I expected a "calm down sir.." or "step out of the car.." Instead, the cop pats his hand on my shoulder and says, "I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. Take it easy on the way home." __________________ "If at first you don't succeed, conceal all evidence you tried in the first place."

06-23-2010, 08:47 AM	#13
gahammerle Drives: 2010 Camaro LS M6 Inferno Orange Join Date: May 2010 Location: Lebanon, OH Posts: 1,672	I have a shirt that says: I wasn't speeding. I was qualifying! __________________ Gordy Injen CAI / Solo Mach-X LLT / Solo High-flow res-cats / Barton short shifter / RX Catch Can / RPI Gills / 35% tint / LED Footwell Lighting Front & Rear / Pedders Street 1 / Pedders steering rack bushing / SS struts / Pfadt drop springs / VMax Ported Throttle Body / Spohn Toe Rods / Spohn Trailing Arms / Trifecta Tune / MACE 25mm Intake Spacers Find me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gahammerle

06-23-2010, 09:05 AM	#14
UT-Engineer Just Cruisin' Drives: 2010 Synergy Camaro Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: San Antonio, TX Posts: 1,224 View My Garage	When he asks you "Do you know how fast you were going back there?" reply by squeezing and shaking your legs and say " Sir, you can give me the ticket if you want, but can we do this at the nearest gas station..... I really need to take a big S#!t!!!!" Im sure you'll get off that one lol __________________ 2010 Synergy Green Camaro 25% Tint - CGM Painted GM GFX - 20" Niche M102 Wheels

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06-22-2010, 09:13 PM	#2
FireonIce Drives: 2010 2SS\RS CGM Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Gillette, Wyoming Posts: 80	I don't know if this is real or not but its good for a laugh..... Two guys get pulled over. The driver knows that he is going to jail. So he reaches for the last beer and takes the Bud Light label off and sticks it on his forhead..... The officer comes up to the car and says "Sir have you been drinking tonight?"..... The driver points to his forehead "nope, I'm on the patch!"

06-22-2010, 09:54 PM	#4
Havok Drives: 2010 IBM 2LT RS Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: RI Posts: 1,484	I forgot which SI magazine I read this, but it was probably one of them at the doctors. Cop pulls over a kid and asks him why he's driving so fast. Kid replies "The sports illustrated swimsuit edition came in and I gotta get home before my dad gets his hands on it." (Not as in take it but as in sees it first). Cop let him go.

06-22-2010, 10:00 PM	#5
Huck1974 Account Suspended Drives: 2011 2SS Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Springfield, Mo Posts: 833	Last time I was pulled over I was asked why I was going so fast. I said "it is a fun car". He let me go. In Missouri everything is fixed for a hundred bucks basically. You drop the money off at the lawyer and you get a letter a few months later telling you to pay court costs. Usually $60 or so. You can drive however you want if you have a hundred bucks.

06-22-2010, 10:09 PM	#6
xpanda305x Banned Drives: Dark Knight Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Gunshine State Posts: 3,150 View My Garage	V-tec kicked in yo! best excuse period!

06-22-2010, 10:19 PM	#7
PsykoTim Drives: 2010 Black Camaro 2SS/RS Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 26	It's ok officer. I was only going 40 back there a while ago so you owed me 20.

06-22-2010, 10:25 PM	#8
DarkneSS Account Suspended Drives: 2010 Camaro 2SS/RS 6MT Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Westchester, New York Posts: 3,715	If you have a girl in the car say shes on her period and you were just trying to get her home, works EVERYTIME

06-23-2010, 12:48 AM	#10
hd926 Drives: 2013 ZL 1 Victory Red, Auto Join Date: May 2010 Location: Kansas City, North Posts: 21	My wife ran off with a policeman last week and I thought that you were him and were trying to bring her back.