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Old 04-09-2010, 11:39 PM   #1

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Just for Fun - Totally Pointless

1. While you are you are making an order, randomly start pressing the numbers on the phone and tell the guy to stop doing it.

2. Make up a credit card name and ask if they accept it.

3. Ask for a Big Mac, French fries and a Large Coke.

4. Finish the order with: “Remember, this conversation never happened”.

5. Tell him you’ve got another pizza delivery on the other line and you’re buying from the one who offers the lowest price.

6. Just give him your address and say “Surprise me”. Then hang up.

7. Answer his questions with other questions.

8. Spell the ingredients.

9. Stutter every time you say something with the letter “P”

10. Ask him if they have pizza.

11. Say “Hello” and act as if he called you.

12. Make your order being very decided and secure, then when he asks you if you would like a drink with the pizza, act as if you were confused.

13. Change your accent every 5 seconds.

14. Ask for 56 pepperoni slices followed by an equation.

15. If he repeats the order to make sure, say “Ok, it’s $17.90, please proceed to the next window to pick up your order”.

16. Explain him that you want to rent a Pizza.

17. Ask if you can keep the box. When he answers yes, make a huge sigh of relief.

18. Ask him if they exploit child labor.

19. Tell him to make sure that your pizza is dead.

20. Imitate the voice of the guy taking the order.

21. Eliminate the verbs of everything you say.

22. Tell him that there’s a surprise party at yours and that you would appreciate if the delivery boy could hide behind the couch until the celebrated one comes in to surprise him/her.

23. Ask if you could see the menu.

24. Warn them that they have no idea of what they are dealing with by supplying this order.

25. Ask him which ingredient is better for a meal with a specific type of wine.

26. Burp and then tell your dog that he should be ashamed.

27. Ask only for one slice.

28. Psychoanalyze the guy taking the order.

29. Complain about the service. Call again two hours later saying that you were drunk and that you are sorry about what you said.

30. Tell the guy taking the order to tell the one in charge to tell the supervisor that he’s fired.

31. Randomly start swearing to someone who is apparently next to you.

32. Stop speaking every 10 seconds and start playing an instrument.

33. Tell a secret code to the guy taking the order and tell him to memorize it for orders you’ll make in the future.

34. Ask for mushrooms as the first ingredient, then before you hang up, say “no mushrooms please”. Then hang up before he can say anything.

35. when he repeats the order, correct him changing an ingredient, then correct him again, and again. The third time ask him if it’s his first day working there.

36. Breath loudly.

37. Ask him how many whales/dolphins had to die to make that pizza.

38. Avoid using the word “PIZZA” by any means. If the guy taking the order says it, hang up saying “Please, don’t use that word”.

39. Make the order during a car chase on TV. When there are gunshots, yell “Aaarghhh”

40. If the guy taking the order doesn’t take any of the previous jokes, ask him if there’s any other who would take them.
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Old 04-09-2010, 11:41 PM   #2
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Old 04-09-2010, 11:44 PM   #3

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I really like this one:

6. Just give him your address and say “Surprise me”. Then hang up.

and I was sure one of them would be 'answer the door in a negligee'
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Old 04-09-2010, 11:49 PM   #4

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40 ways to mess with a bad waiter.
# Speak too fast.

# Speak too quietly.

# Have a friend seduce the waiter and collect a sperm sample. On your next visit to the restaurant, deposit on your Caesar's salad and call the police.

# Leave only a 10% tip. And while you're at it, douse it with lye and industrial-strength rat poison.

# Call the waitress "sir".

# Order the five most expensive entrees on the menu and request that they be pureed together and served with a straw.

# Look at a reflection of the waitress in a pocket mirror or silver utensil, rather than directly into her eyes. After ordering, ask her where she gets her snakes done.

# Order five cups of regular coffee and one cup of decaffeinated coffee. Play a shell game with them and ask the waiter to tell you which is which.

# Address the waiter by the name of "sweet cheeks".

# Leave the outer edge of your plate smeared with syrup.

# Ask what's so special about the day's specials. When you get a satisfactory answer, ask the waiter to repeat the specials in perpetuity. Do not stop asking until you are physically thrown out of the restaurant.

# Insist that the waiter brush his teeth before talking to you again.

# Complain that your fork isn't concave enough to eat your soup with.

# Wear a walkman and read a newspaper at your table, completely ignoring the waiter. If he or she taps you to get your attention, swat off their hand.

# Ask your waiter if there's a "better waiter" that could serve you instead.

# Leave a pool of liquid on your seat.

# Tell the waitress that you've heard that some waitresses moonlight as prostitutes. Ask if she knows whether any of the other waitresses will go home with you, or if you're stuck with her.

# Place your order while blowing bubbles into a glass of milk.

# Submerse a sweaty gym sock in your bowl of French onion soup and make a complaint.

# Order everything on the menu one item at a time.

# Ask the waitress how much of a tip she thinks she deserves. Demand that she give you a specific percentage. If she complies, yell "WRONG" in the most irritating voice you can manage. If she feels awkward about naming her own tip, tell her that you do, too, so you'll just "skip that part".

# Tell the waitress she's too old for a good tip.

# Tell the waiter to hold your mobile phone while you're in the bathroom. Go to a payphone and alert a female accomplice to place a call to your mobile phone. Have her blurt out the following before immediately hanging up: "I just talked to your little whore! You better be wearing a bullet-proof vest tonight!"

# Tell the waiter that your conversation will be recorded for quality assurance purposes.

# Order nothing but bread and water. If the waitress tells you that you have to order an entree, tell her that she has two choices. Either she lets you eat nothing but bread and water, in which case you'll consider giving her a very nice tip, or she forces you to order an entree and she gets zip.

# Ask the waiter not to point his erection at you.

# Ask what year it is.

# After getting your bill, casually say "Well, I guess I'll be washing dishes tonight." Then take a container of dish soap out of your bag and head to the kitchen.

# Tell the waitress that you've been a bad boy, and wink.

# Tell the waitress that you're trying to lose weight, and ask if there's another waitress who might be able to provide more motivation for doing so.

# Smoke in the nonsmoking section. When asked to extinguish your cigarette, politely walk over to the smoking section. Standing just inside it, blow smoke as hard as you can into the nonsmoking section. Repeat aloud: "**** with the best, die like the rest."

# Load your wallet with a half-dozen photos of children. Recount to the waitress the graphic stories of each of your children's fatal "accidents". Ask the waitress whether she has any children. Or if she knows where you can find some.

# Ask the waiter if he's interested in becoming a porno star. When he questions why you ask, laugh and tell him you're just kidding, and that you've seen "the pictures going around the Internet".

# Ask the waitress what a girl like her is doing in a place like this. Ask her if her boss is a masochist.

# Promise you'll pay for your meal "next time".

# Tell the waiter that you're teaching a course on becoming a better waiter, and that you'll gladly give him 25% off his first lesson.

# Ask if "anyone else" from the Fodor's staff has eaten at the restaurant recently. Then, frowning, ask for the exact spelling if the waiter's last name.

# Tell the waiter that you intend to treat him like shit for the remainder of the meal. Mention that you're a professional chemist, and that if you detect anything unusual in your food, you will personally send a letter bomb to his mother. Postage due.
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Old 04-09-2010, 11:53 PM   #5
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Old 04-10-2010, 12:03 AM   #6

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i got my laugh for the night.
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Old 04-10-2010, 12:14 AM   #7

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1.Go up to someone, smack them on the butt and say "dangggg, i remember you" then wink

2.Walk up to people making out on the street and yell GET SOME!

3. Ask a fat man when his baby's due

4. Yell in a crowded area "_______ YOU LEFT YOUR UNDIES AT MY HOUSE!!!!"

5. Yell in a school assembly "STOP TOUCHING ME THERE!!!!

6.Walk up to someone and say OH MY GOD i know you, last wednesday night, remember, look them up and down then walk away.

7.At a crowded movie theater, keep yelling at the screen

8.Go up to a sexy guy and say "Thanks for last night" pinch him on the butt then walk away


10.Go up to someone random and say "GUESS WHAT I JUST DID!!! I JUST MADE A POOP!!!"

11.tug their hair whenever possible

12.tug their arm and when they look at you stare straight foward like nothing is happening

13.stand behind them while u talk 2 them.

14.insert finger in bellybutton

15.say meep after every sentence

16.put ur hand in their pocket durring conversastoin

17.pull a straightener out of ur bra


19.stare at their nono area while u talk 2 them

20.comment on the funny feeling u get inside when u see them

21.ask 2 smell their ear

22.rub their leg with ur foot when standing next 2 them

23.crawl through their legs like ur playing tunnel tag while u talk 2 them.

24.comment on the lovely shape of their cheeks (no im not talking about the ones on ur face) hand on their knee cap. don't move it.

26.ask them if they impregnated u

27.ask if they r comfertable with u taking off ur pants

28.remove ur socks and rub their back with them

29.put a price tag on their earlobe

30.while in conversation take our christmas lights and start putting them on everything around and act like everythings normal

31.comment on their nice BASS

32.ask if their wearing moon pants. CUZ THEIR BUTT IS OUT OF THIS WORLD

33.whenever possible grab their nose and let go every time they mention it. then grab it again.

34.when talking to them say excuse me look down your pants and say OMYGOD WHAT IS THAT!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS!!!! then show them

35.go up and start petting someones cheek and say lovely bone both areas then wink

36.go up to them sniff there hair then walk away

37. walk into a crowded store and say does anyone know any good squatting techniques!!!

38.go up to someone and say omigash i have an itch on my leg then scratch theirs

39.ask someone if they have any spare hair to eat

40.act like a spazz then switch back to normal

41.grab their elbow and yell WEENIS TOUCH up behind an old laddy hug them and yell MOMMY!

43.try to get as close as you can to them without them noticing

44. stare at them for as long as you can, when they get to walk away

45. go up to to a random person, ask them an easy question, like whats 3+4 when they answer yell DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!!???? then run away screamin THERE COMING THERE COMING!!!

46. walk up to a random person and say do you like my llama then pretends ones beside you then start talking to it

47.go up to an old man/woman and say are you single then wink

48.act like you think your a famous person

49.pretend your in the mafia

50. whenever you see someone that looks like santa claus go up to them sit on their lap and tell them what you want for christmas
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Old 04-10-2010, 12:21 AM   #8
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Old 05-09-2010, 10:25 PM   #9
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My pitbull/rotty cross used to scare the pizza sauce out of the delivery boy.
Speed is a substitute for clearance.
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Old 05-09-2010, 10:37 PM   #10

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Old 05-10-2010, 01:03 AM   #11

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HAHAHA i love these threads!!1
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Old 05-10-2010, 02:14 PM   #12
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I love Pizza
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Old 05-10-2010, 02:20 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by 2010 SSRS View Post

I love Pizza
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Old 05-11-2010, 03:03 AM   #14

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Haha too funny!
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