Heartless Fathers

[Iroczlover]

Originally Posted by springerpete

I may be wrong and way off base. If I am please tell me. You called your dad about a guy you knew 30 years ago and was looking for his name and possibly his location. He proceeds to tell you that this guy's father may be your biological father. Your mad at him for that.

I called my dad to wish him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY & we got to talking about people we knew, I asked for the spelling of this guys last name that way I can look up his son, I was like 6yrs old last time I saw the kid & sort of wanted to see if I couldnt at least find a way to contact him.

Originally Posted by springerpete

Let me give you a different perspective. He's the one that stuck with you and raised you even though you may or may not be his. He may not have been the best father but he was there. The other guy was just a donator of DNA.

Ok let me put it this way, My dad was never around (he claimed it was the miltiary) when he was around he was whoring around with other women. neither of my parents were really involved in MY raising. No one really was. My mom waited until we moved out of Military housing (which was the summer we moved down to washington state, I was about 6 at the time) to start finding other places to be at. Since my two older sisters didnt care, they would come home & leave. So I was coming home to an empty house, told to take care of the animals & then fix my own dinner.
My parents were NOT parents.

Originally Posted by springerpete

Secondly, Why were you looking for this male childhood friend? Does your husband know that you were looking for him? I assure you that if the tables were turned that MY wife wouldn't be so understanding. Would you?

I was looking for his son not for the man who my father said was my father. Yes my husband knows, He also knows nothing is going to happen. Heck all I was doing is seeing what happen to him. Last thing I knew is he was going through a rough time as I was.

[springerpete]

Well I'm sorry for saying what I said.

It seems that moving on with your life with your family that you and your husband have created is what is important now. Make sure your kids never have to experience what you did.

[Iroczlover]

Originally Posted by springerpete

Well I'm sorry for saying what I said.

It seems that moving on with your life with your family that you and your husband have created is what is important now. Make sure your kids never have to experience what you did.

I am here almost every day for my kids, I work during the day & when they get home from school I am here.

They have more then what they want, with out JUST giving things to them. I am rough on them but always make sure They know we love them.

They know that their dad is their real dad because A they look like his side of the family & to make that happen there are/were only 3 other people. One is my father in law (who past away 12yrs ago this nov) my brother in law, who only deals with me if he has to lol. & my nephew lol who is only 14yrs YOUNGER than I am lol

[2010 SSRS]

that is very sad

["prima"Donna]

We're here for you too...

[StuntmanMike]

The license people to drive, to hunt, even to fish. But any idiot can be a father....or mother for that matter.

My jacka--- er father wasn't much of one either. I have basically ignored him for the 7 years I've been home from the military and he's barely noticed.

Oh well.

[CaniacFan]

Chin up gal. You sound like you have your head on straight. You know what your priorities are (your family) - and that will get your through this.

I was the oldest of three (but dad wanted a boy) kids, my birth certificate indicated my name as Robert (you can see from my photo, I'm no Robert). I could never live up to his expectations. Growing up, I was an athlete with natural talent, won state level events, it was never good enough. Mom divorced him (booze and women) my senior year of high school. He married three more times. He died in '95 at the age of 56. I'd like to be able to say I love and miss him, but I don't - we were never close. I was nothing to him.

Keep that chin up and be strong, we know you can..

Good things come to good people.

[guiLT]

Originally Posted by Iroczlover

yesterday I called my dad for his birthday. During the long talk (over 20mins) I asked about someone that hasnt been in our lives for 31 (or so) years just for the spelling since I was looking for his son, who was just older or younger than i was, & one of my best friends when we were stationed in Alaska.

My dad had turned around & told me he doesnt think that I was his daughter (out of the 3 girls that grew up together I am the only one who even talks to him anymore), He told me that he thinks the guy i was looking for was my Father. I didnt think this guy was around during the time I was born. earliest memories of him were when i was like 3 or 4 after we moved back up to alaska from washington (both my dad & this guy were Army)

Now over the 36yrs or so I have been alive I have always heard that there is a possiblity of my middle sister & or I were not my dad's children. I am the only one out of the 4 of us that doesnt strongly look like my mom. ( I may not be my moms child as far as I am concern)

But to tell the only one of your 3 kids that you raised, over the phone that they may not be yours is totally heartless.

I guess when I talk to my aunt in July I need to sit her down & talk to her & totally ask her. try to find out the truth. Of course I know she will tell me to ask my mother but I dont want to have anything to do with her.

["prima"Donna]

Originally Posted by CaniacFan

Chin up gal. You sound like you have your head on straight. You know what your priorities are (your family) - and that will get your through this.

I was the oldest of three (but dad wanted a boy) kids, my birth certificate indicated my name as Robert (you can see from my photo, I'm no Robert). I could never live up to his expectations. Growing up, I was an athlete with natural talent, won state level events, it was never good enough. Mom divorced him (booze and women) my senior year of high school. He married three more times. He died in '95 at the age of 56. I'd like to be able to say I love and miss him, but I don't - we were never close. I was nothing to him.

Keep that chin up and be strong, we know you can..

Good things come to good people.

So sorry for you too Lori....:(

[Iroczlover]

Update on this a little. Damn has it really been a year i thought it was two lol.


Well the Little boy i was looking for I found, He is happly engaged & is looking for a classic Chevy to work on.

As for my dad I talked to him for the first time, since this, Only to be told that his mom was gone

I was never really close to these grand parents because they choiced my sisters over me. Even after the sisters stopped talking to them, They always wanted to know about my sisters Not me.

Well I will go to the services & be there. Hoping my aunts & uncles will be there (my OPAs kids, My dads step sisters & brothers)

[TOMS1SS]

Sorry for all the bad stuff going on your life recently OP, but this forum (public forum) really the place to talk about stuff that should probably be private?

[Z28RockStar]

I didn't read all posts, however I can understand your pain at the way people can act out. You need to bear in mind in this material world sham of a sorry excuse for a life, (beautiful at times) our family, friends and ourselves is all we really have, nothing, not even a 5th gen goes with us when we leave this place. I admire you for finding your family member or friend, you have the right idea, I'd appeal to your sympathies against an old, bitter, hurt and injured man (your father) for saying such things to you. I'd beg you forgive him. When he's gone . . . . . . you'd realize your folly in not forgiving what we all are, human. The person which cares and loves you, is your family, not some bullshit petri dish DNA garbage, his pride was obviously injured and look what it did to him. We all fall so short, we're all imperfect and we are all we really have in the end. We are but mortal, rise above your pain and love who you are and where you come from!


ok, *steps down from pulpit*


Best regards, sympathies as well,

Z28RockStar



OH one more thing, my apologies for addressing such intimate personal issues with you.