Camaro5 Chevy Camaro Forum / Camaro ZL1, SS and V6 Forums - Camaro5.com
 
Solo Performance
Go Back   Camaro5 Chevy Camaro Forum / Camaro ZL1, SS and V6 Forums - Camaro5.com > Members Area > General Automotive + Other Cars Discussion


Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 09-12-2009, 02:24 AM   #1
Dave McFly
*new car smell*
 
Dave McFly's Avatar
 
Drives: 2007 Ford Mustang 'Natasha'
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Jamestown, NY
Posts: 2,127
Send a message via ICQ to Dave McFly Send a message via AIM to Dave McFly Send a message via MSN to Dave McFly Send a message via Yahoo to Dave McFly Send a message via Skype™ to Dave McFly
Talking Get all that electronic crap out of my car!

From the October 09 Car and Driver goofy useless features and non car counterparts to them, enjoy .

http://mobilelink.caranddriver.com/f...nomics_-column

In a scene from This Is Spinal Tap, Christopher Guest (as Nigel Tufnel) shows Rob Reiner (as Marty DiBergi) his Marshall amp:

Nigel Tufnel: As you can see, the numbers all go to 11. Look, right across the board.

Marty DiBergi: Most amps go up to 10?

NT: Exactly.

MDB: Does that mean it’s louder? Is it any louder?

NT: Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it? It’s not 10. Most blokes, you’re on 10 on your guitar, where can you go from there?

MDB: I don’t know.

NT: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do when we need that extra push over the cliff, know what we do?

MDB: Put it up to 11?

NT: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.

MDB: Why not make 10 louder and make 10 the top number? Make that a little louder.

NT: [Long pause.] These go to 11.

At most gas stations, when you punch in your credit-card info on the pump’s keypad, each number emits a beep. But at a nearby Mobil station, the first digit you enter—and it’s only the first digit—doesn’t beep once. It beeps three times. Know why? Because it can. Because some nitwit thought that three beeps would be three times cooler than one. Because it didn’t cost anything. Because the technology existed.

Modern cars are awash in “It-goes-to-11” ergonomics. No one asked for it. It’s just in your car because—like black mold or a carjacker with herpes—it can be.

For instance, to change the fan speed on an Audi A6, first find, then depress, the always-red-glowing fan button. Now raise your head so you can scrutinize a huge LCD display that looks like a clock, with 12 fan settings. Now look down and refind the cabin temperature control. Turn the dial, left or right, to whatever fan speed you guess might satisfy. Do this very, very quickly or the clock-like thing on the nav screen will disappear and you’ll have to start all over—a little test of your reflexes, ha-ha.

It’s like putting a piece of bread in a complicated dishwasher that automatically transfers the bread to your toaster, a toaster that then requires you to push down a lever causing the bread to lower and become toasted in 60 seconds or so. Audi isn’t alone.

Ergonomic 11: Radio tuning knob nowhere in the vicinity of the digital display that shows you what station you’ve tuned.

Real-world analogy: Toilet flush lever that isn’t on the toilet but is located instead in your neighbor’s den.

Ergonomic 11: Side-view mirrors that automatically point downward every time you select reverse gear.

Real-world analogy: Like having your doctor perform a colonoscopy while examining the soles of your shoes.

Ergonomic 11: Turn signals and shifters that, when directed by the movement of your own hand, instantly return to their original positions.

Real-world analogy: Homeland Security’s color-coded terrorist alerts.

Ergonomic 11: Seatbelt warning so shrill that you can’t drive unbelted to your own mailbox.

Real-world analogy: Ann Coulter.

Ergonomic 11: Instrument clusters that automatically illuminate, thus causing at dawn and dusk a disco-ball strobe effect.

Real-world analogy: Like adding a fourth color to traffic lights, where the fourth now means, “Got no clue, why not take a big dangerous chance?”

Ergonomic 11: Automatic rain-sensing wipers that suddenly erupt in the midst of a carwash and are thus torn off by those wet hangy-downy swinging carpet strips.

Real-world analogy: TV weathermen who report “possible scattered showers” even as lightning and torrential rain have knocked out their broadcasting towers.

Ergonomic 11: Having to press a button on the nav screen in response to scary legal warnings that flash on the nav screen ordering you not to operate the nav screen or you’ll probably die while tapping the nav screen.

Real-world analogy: Prescription-bottle labels that warn, “Danger: Alcohol will intensify the effect of this drug.”

Ergonomic 11: Weight-sensing passenger seat that, when you place your briefcase atop it, sets off incessant warning chimes that can be quelled only by securing your briefcase with a seatbelt.

Real-world analogy: Cramps, ringing in the ears, diarrhea on a first date.

Ergonomic 11: Little LCD bars that increase in number to demonstrate that someone is turning up the radio’s volume.

Real-world analogy: Calling 4-1-1 to determine your spouse’s gender.

Ergonomic 11: Electronic button that opens glove box but isn’t on the glove box.

Real-world analogy: Angry spouse who has hidden the TV’s remote control in her sister’s safety-deposit box in a state not even adjacent to yours.

Ergonomic 11: Mandatory pressing of a button that says “Load,” then waiting for a message that says “Insert disc” before you can play a compact disc.

Real-world analogy: Cop who asks, “You know how fast you were going?”

Ergonomic 11: Having to insert a key or key fob in the ignition, then having to press a button to actually start the car.

Real-world analogy: Demanding that your mail be delivered to a mailbox across the street instead of through the letter slot on your front door.

Ergonomic 11: Radios that automatically raise the volume to combat the increase in wind noise and the increase in tread roar and the increase in your spouse’s complaints about your driving.

Real-world analogy: An erection lasting longer than four hours.

Ergonomic 11: Dual automatic climate-control systems that promise to maintain 65 degrees for the driver and 82 degrees for the passenger.

Real-world analogy: Your check is in the mail.

Ergonomic 11: An “automatic” setting that turns on the headlights only when it’s fully dark but not at fuzzy daybreak, at dull twilight, or in dense fog.

Real-world analogy: Death.
__________________
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
George Carlin
Dave McFly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2009, 06:02 AM   #2
prostock69
Female Muscle Car Nut!
 
prostock69's Avatar
 
Drives: 2010 RS/SS IOM Camaro
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Mansfield, TX
Posts: 1,262
"Ergonomic 11: Seatbelt warning so shrill that you can’t drive unbelted to your own mailbox.

Real-world analogy: Ann Coulter."

__________________
2SS/RS Inferno Orange w/ black stripes, black/orange interior, Automatic, w/ sunroof and polished aluminum wheels

MODS: Borla "S" Type Exhaust, American Racing Headers 3" Longtubes, New Era Cold Air Intake, HP Tune, Custom Ground Camshaft, Professionally Ported Heads by Darin Morgan, Ported Throttle Body, 3000 Stall Converter, and 160 Degree Thermostat.

http://www.rehermorrison.com/; http://www.darinmorgan.com/; http://www.neweraperformance.com/
prostock69 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2009, 09:49 AM   #3
MikesZ
Group Provocateur
 
Drives: Long Distances
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,022
This is classic and I totally agree. I need a "Bare Necessities Sports Car" GM!
MikesZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2009, 08:31 PM   #4
stovt001


 
stovt001's Avatar
 
Drives: 2006 Cobalt, 2004 Taurus wagon
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: California
Posts: 3,812
Most I agree with, and some that are just ridiculous whining. I also don't think any of the analogies really fit, but overall he does a great job pointing out stupid ideas that just need to die.
__________________
"It's kind of fun to do the impossible" - Walt Disney

There's a great big beautiful tomorrow
shining at the end of every day
There's a great big beautiful tomorrow
Just a dream away
stovt001 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2009, 11:06 PM   #5
Blownhotrodder

 
Blownhotrodder's Avatar
 
Drives: Z06
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Sugar Hill, GEORGIA
Posts: 1,851
Well although I agree with you, it seems the majority of folks these days prefer to have every useless gizmo know to man including an espresso maker to be standard equipment and force you to pay for it whether you want it or not. This junk makes being a driver less of a driver and more of an entertained and coddeled passenger. How about leaving that crap to the 4 door family trucksters instead of sports/muscle cars. Amen.
Blownhotrodder is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2009, 11:21 PM   #6
Coldpants
Nerdy one
 
Coldpants's Avatar
 
Drives: #000000 & #FF8000 2010 Camaro
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: (elba), ct
Posts: 806


Changing your 2005 mustang to ALL 125 color settings.
Coldpants is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2009, 11:38 PM   #7
Zabo
Gunning for Sixth
 
Zabo's Avatar
 
Drives: '03 ZR2 Blazer
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Woodhaven, Michigan
Posts: 9,358
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldpants View Post


Changing your 2005 mustang to ALL 125 color settings.


Ford trying to one-up GM's Ambient Lighting.

I wait for Chrysler to turn the Challenger into a Tron-mobile.
Zabo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-13-2009, 12:05 AM   #8
MikesZ
Group Provocateur
 
Drives: Long Distances
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,022
Only features I need:

Intermittent Wipers
Tilt Wheel
Air Conditioning (not 'climate control')
Cruise Control
AM/FM CD Stereo
Power Windows
Power Door Locks
Remote Keyless Entry
Rear Window Defrost
Fogs (real ones that operate at night)
Floor Mats
MikesZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-13-2009, 12:22 AM   #9
Zabo
Gunning for Sixth
 
Zabo's Avatar
 
Drives: '03 ZR2 Blazer
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Woodhaven, Michigan
Posts: 9,358
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikesZ View Post
Only features I need:

Intermittent Wipers
Tilt Wheel
Air Conditioning (not 'climate control')
Cruise Control
AM/FM CD Stereo
Power Windows
Power Door Locks
Remote Keyless Entry
Rear Window Defrost
Fogs (real ones that operate at night)
Floor Mats
Spoiled..

I'm still grateful that GM keeps manual windows and locks in the LS Cobalt. Here's to them keeping it in the LS Cruze.
Zabo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-13-2009, 03:11 AM   #10
comiskeybum
Banned
 
Drives: 2010 Chevy Equinox LS
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: South Bend, Indiana
Posts: 799
I disagree. i love muscle cars with all the modern technology
comiskeybum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-13-2009, 03:20 AM   #11
Dave McFly
*new car smell*
 
Dave McFly's Avatar
 
Drives: 2007 Ford Mustang 'Natasha'
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Jamestown, NY
Posts: 2,127
Send a message via ICQ to Dave McFly Send a message via AIM to Dave McFly Send a message via MSN to Dave McFly Send a message via Yahoo to Dave McFly Send a message via Skype™ to Dave McFly
Red face

only features i need in my car are:

power steering
power brakes
A/C
Cruise
radio preferably with CD
__________________
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
George Carlin
Dave McFly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-13-2009, 10:02 AM   #12
MikesZ
Group Provocateur
 
Drives: Long Distances
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,022
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave McFly View Post
only features i need in my car are:

power steering
power brakes
A/C
Cruise
radio preferably with CD
O.K. I could get by with:

Intermittent Wipers
Air Conditioning
Cruise
Tilt Steering
AM/FM CD Stereo
Floor Mats
Rear Window Defrost
MikesZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-13-2009, 02:39 PM   #13
SleepWarz
Banned
 
Drives: 1991 New Yorker, 69 Tbird, ABM2SSRS
Join Date: May 2009
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 2,248
All I need is a motor, bolted to a body with a functioning transmission.
maybe some tires too =p
The exhaust purr is my radio.
SleepWarz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-13-2009, 03:23 PM   #14
FenwickHockey65
General Motors Aficionado
 
FenwickHockey65's Avatar
 
Drives: 2003 GMC Envoy/2007 Ford F-150
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 35,858
Send a message via AIM to FenwickHockey65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zabo View Post
Spoiled..

I'm still grateful that GM keeps manual windows and locks in the LS Cobalt. Here's to them keeping it in the LS Cruze.
Something tells me the LS Cruze will have power windows/locks...
__________________
FenwickHockey65's GM Thread!

2003 GMC Envoy SLE - Airaid Cold Air Intake, Gibson Performance Catback Exhaust
2007 Ford F-150 XL SuperCab (State-issued)
FenwickHockey65 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What's considered a Muscle Car? SyN General Automotive + Other Cars Discussion 125 09-25-2010 12:04 AM
Tired of Waiting - Pics of My New Hyundai Genesis Coupe Inspector 17 5th Gen Camaro SS LS LT General Discussions 101 08-26-2009 09:31 PM
FIRST DETAIL: '10 Camaro SS #4768 Steve P Cosmetic Maintenance: Washing, Waxing, Detailing, Bodywork, Protection 4 07-09-2009 12:20 AM
What makes a car a "tuner" car? Dentyneice General Automotive + Other Cars Discussion 8 05-11-2009 10:19 PM
The Camaro, what it has come to mean for me Number 3 5th Gen Camaro SS LS LT General Discussions 23 04-13-2009 09:31 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:26 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.