Please Read!! Need your advice!! Why Relationships SUCK!!

[5th_GEN_SS]

Ok, please please read and give input

So the basis of this blog is if people in a serious relationship Should go out to bars, etc. with out the sign. other, is it wrong? read the story....

So to begin with my gf and I have trust issues, I care for her very much but we do have our fair share of fights.
I have caught her in numerous lies..
that she was smoking weed, talking to ex bf's stuff like that.
but i lied too. sometimes.
Since working through this we have been better.

I dont ask to much of her, but i do ask some..

One main thing i ask is that she NOT go to the bar without me,
i have had problems with this in the past both with my self, parents, and friends..
to add my dad owns a bar.. no good comes out of it. (is this to much to ask?)
SHES NOT EVEN LEGAL TO DRINK

(Flashback)
part of my trust was also broken when back in dec. she went to a work related xmas party...(she is a banker, these are professional ppl) she said she would have a few.. well i picked her up..she ended up passing out with her head in the toilet because she was so trashed, she puked all night and i left, i was a lil pissed. She said she had two long islands

so she promissed she wouldnt go to the bar without me..
well just today she told me her and her girls are going to put-in-bay for one of thier friends 21st b-day...
she said she wouldnt go without me...
but just found out, i cant go because no boyfriends are allowed.
The bday girls bf isnt....going so i cant. Bullshit?
and she changed her mind. shes going.
She said the chicks parents are going.. not to worry?
So i was kinda upset, she doesnt think it is a big deal...
calls it keeping her from her friends. that i am controling that i dont want her to go with out me...
it bothers me a lot and she doesnt care enough to see if i can go or stay.
i call it drunken slut in put in bay.

What does everyone think?


Should I be mad that she wants to spend the day/night at put in bay at the bars with her girlfriends?

[garagelogic]

I think you both need to grow up. Neither of you seem mature enough to be in a serious relationship and the fact that you can't/don't trust each other means the relationship will ultimately end in failure.

[5th_GEN_SS]

thanks i thnk?

[Inspector 17]

Any relationship that is built on lies will fail. Sounds to me like the two of you need to have a sit down and be completely open and honest with each other. If you can't do that, then you might as well just break up because it will happen sooner or later anyway.

[5th_GEN_SS]

well i thnk we have been better but she just doesnt seem to care some times, doesnt care what i thnk or how i feel before she does something. i really like her but i dont no how much more i can take of this.. i didnt thnk it was so much to ask for..

[Silverghost]

If there is trust issues even if it is in the past, it will always play a part in the relationship. Bottom line, no trust equals no relationship. Cut your losses now before you get to the point where she gets half of everything in order to end the relationship.

As far as my relationship, she can go anywhere with whomever she wants at anytime..... Why? Because I can trust her.



Edit:
You shouldn't have to be your partners babysitter.

[5th_GEN_SS]

i agree and i wish i could trust her, but she doesnt understand that its something you must build on and earn she

thinks that just because she tells me i can tust her that i should be able to... its just difficult when she lies and changes her mind every 5 min, i dont know why we are together, i just keep coming back..
i have never put up with any other girls bs but my patients is wearing thin.

[Sterling]

Seriously... if you have trust issues now, they will never go away. It probably really is best to move on. I let my wife go anywhere she wants and I never worry about it. I have had other relationships in the past that I was always worried about and trust me... it's not worth the hassle if she has already proven that she can't be trusted.

[Rodrunner]

Man has any guy ever not gone through this? Jealousy is a very destructive thing, very hard to overcome and not just a youthful emotion. Ok, so she went to the x-mas party and got pukin' drunk without you....did she screw anybody? I'm just sayin' first, regardless of who she got drunk with and talked to, she went home with you, and second, you're not going to change her! Willing her to be the person you want her to be ain't gonna work. You have to let her be herself and if that's not someone you can find happiness with, then you gotta end it. Just be sure there isn't reason to trust her and you're not being overly possesive is all I'm saying.

[Sierra]

Originally Posted by garagelogic

I think you both need to grow up. Neither of you seem mature enough to be in a serious relationship and the fact that you can't/don't trust each other means the relationship will ultimately end in failure.

Plus the drinking needs to be cut way down. Sounds like an issue.

[PQ]

Read the first paragraph. That's all I needed to read.

The minute I don't trust my wife, is the minute before I divorce her. Jealousy is stupid and not worth living with. My advice? Move on. Get rid of her. I would let my wife go away with freinds for the weekend. If you can't handle it, it isn't going to work. If she can't handle it, it isn't going to work. This is petty. And embarrasing. I'm not just talking about one way. If either of you are jealous, it's not going to work. Of it's her, find someone else. If it's you. Find someone else because either she's premiscuous or you can't handle it.

That is all.

[CynAgain]

Originally Posted by Rodrunner

Man has any guy ever not gone through this? Jealousy is a very destructive thing, very hard to overcome and not just a youthful emotion. Ok, so she went to the x-mas party and got pukin' drunk without you....did she screw anybody? I'm just sayin' first, regardless of who she got drunk with and talked to, she went home with you, and second, you're not going to change her! Willing her to be the person you want her to be ain't gonna work. You have to let her be herself and if that's not someone you can find happiness with, then you gotta end it. Just be sure there isn't reason to trust her and you're not being overly possessive is all I'm saying.

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Guilty until proven innocent sucks for everyone involved. If you feel this way now ~ hang it up! Save yourself (and her) the grief.

[2SSONLY]

Two words Dude: Move On!

Been there, done that, not worth it. Ditto to everything everyone else has said here. Listen to it. They're right!!!

EDIT: Good advice up until Eddy9. Without the ability to trust, you just go insane and end up alone!!

[Eddy9]

Hey Bro,
What's up Brother?
So you need some advice on women, I can write a book on it. I'll try to make a long story short. I dated the same girl all through high school and college. We dated 8 years then got married. After being married 7 years, she started cheating on me. I had no idea because she was always faithful to me. I've been divorced now for six years and just date women without getting serious. My last girlfriend broke my heart!!!
I'm just trying to say if you can't trust her now, you never will. I learned not to trust any girl.
Hope this helped you! Let's meet up when you get your Baby! Sound cool??
Hang in there Buddy!
Let's ROLL!!!!!
Eddie
P.S. By the way, what bar does your Dad own?