I have some confessions to make

[Bizaro]

Originally Posted by ChrisBlair

#1
I quite like many Beach Boys songs.

#2
I am rigging up a device to dump water on my downstairs neighbors such that they will not know it is happening on purpose. Specifically, my deck is above theirs and they smoke so much you'd think it was a paying job. I mean I cannot even open a window when they are out there, let alone my sliding glass door, because they smoke so much. And they do it on their deck, directly below mine. I'm thinking an aquarium pump, some tubing, a remote control switch, and a fake planter on the table I keep on my deck. The planter will have fake flowers and will be the reservoir for water. The pump will draw when I hit the remote, and the tubing will run down the inside of the table legs such that nobody can see it from the outside. The decking is open and the water will liberally pour out all over. I can't decide if I want to direct it over their heads, or over the huge, overflowing ashtray on their table. That would make a horrid mess all over the table. Yeah. I'm that guy. The horrified masses will say "Ever think of talking to them?!". That time is past. Now is the time for water pranks.

Thank you for your time.

depending where you live there are laws prohibiting from smoking outside condo/apartment building etc etc.

[VTSummit]

Large drain holes in the pots, w/potting soil... rain dirty mud water on the hellions down below. You could also put a bluetooth speaker out there and when they go out to smoke, play whatever type of noise you think they would hate. I did this with Billy Graham sermons years ago...drove people away. You can use heavy metal, ethnic, whatever would drive them nuts.
Oh, and pee. Lots of pee.

[ChrisBlair]

The trouble is, the fun part is not simply making people mad. It is easy to just make people mad. I want them to be ignorant of how it is happening. I want them to ask "have you seen/head/had this happen to you?" and I can look innocently mystified and say "No". That is fun. Getting revenge and having to struggle to keep from laughing in somebody's face is the target.

Re: the pee-pee initiative. I need a control test. I want the people advocating urine to piss on their own porch/deck/patio for one week, and then report back to me about how pleasant you have found your own living space after using it as a toilet for seven days

RE: sound, I have considered sound. A smoke detector or carbon monoxide detector outside that I trigger remotely. My problems with the smoke/carbon monoxide detector are three-fold:

1) it is not easy to conceal outside and t is something that will fall prey to the elements quickly.

2) it will also annoy me.

3) source easily located by the victims.

RE: Tire smoke...getting kicked out of my home because I burned 800 dollars worth of tires up, pissing off a minimum of 40 people at once, 38 of whom I have no problems with? Somehow I'm having trouble seeing the "fun" I will have with that. Plus, that means I haul my carcass downstairs, get in my car, hope there's a spot in front of the offending unit, and burn away. Next I tramp back upstairs. That's un-necessary effort. Also the effort of cleaning the rubber off my car, and working overtime to replace the tires. I believe they call this scenario "diminishing returns". If I have more aggravation then they do, I "lose". Never plan to lose. Plan to win.

RE: a bunch of planters. Can't happen. A potted plant on my table is OK. Window boxes or anything of the sort is not allowed.Turning my tiny deck into a greenhouse is not allowed. Plus I'd like to be on it once or twice without every bug in the world landing in my beer.

RE: laws. The building is "smoke free" and a "complex smoke free" initiative is underway. However the management has specifically stated in writing that they cannot do much about people who violate. Hence, the time for water pranks.

I need:

1) A method that gives no clue I actively did something. My water idea? I will not be out there when it happens. Wet people will step away from their deck (or just look up) and see nobody's up there on my deck. They will hear no sliding glass door close. Suspect away, but they didn't see me do anything even though they were 10 feet away. The water does not effect me at all, only them.

2) A method that has minimum 'trigger' effort. Pushing a button? Ideal. Tramping down a flight of stairs then across a parking lot? Less than ideal.

3) A method that inconveniences them, not me. After the method is employed, I want to have no "work".

4) A method that does not merely replace my unpleasant experience with another unpleasant experience

I appreciate the nefarious suggestions but sadly the majority of them merely fall under the "here's a way to make somebody mad" category.

[motorhead]

Originally Posted by ChrisBlair

Re: the pee-pee initiative. I need a control test. I want the people advocating urine to piss on their own porch/deck/patio for one week, and then report back to me about how pleasant you have found your own living space after using it as a toilet for seven days

True. But I figure your deck is unusable now from what you're typing. Once the "pee-pee initiative" drives them off, you clean the deck and you're good to go.

In reality, I would say you are fighting a hopeless cause with any prank you pull. Why not go to whoever is in charge and ask them to put tin on the underside of your deck as someone posted earlier? That's a great idea. Your neighbors would thank you for waterproofing their area.

[ChrisBlair]

How does tin on the underside of the deck stop smoke from coming in? I don't see the logic. Using a barrier to make the smoke travel an extra six feet does nothing, and now I get water to pool on my deck.

Air flows high pressure to low pressure. If my open glass door made a high pressure area out of my home, the smoke would never come in, in the first place. My home is not under positive pressure, unfortunately.

[motorhead]

Originally Posted by ChrisBlair

How does tin on the underside of the deck stop smoke from coming in? I don't see the logic. Using a barrier to make the smoke travel an extra six feet does nothing, and now I get water to pool on my deck.

Air flows high pressure to low pressure. If my open glass door made a high pressure area out of my home, the smoke would never come in, in the first place. My home is not under positive pressure, unfortunately.

You made it sound as though the smoke was coming up through the gaps in the deck boards. Tin on the underside would keep that from happening. Also if it is done right, water isn't going to do anything but run off the tin. You install it with a slight slope under the deck. I've worked around construction my entire career. Many condos and apartment complexs do this to make a deck more like a porch that can be used while raining. Will the smoke still hit you when rolling up around the outside of the deck, I guess it could depending on air currents. I think it's a better first option then soaking your neighbor on purpose. That will only get you in trouble.

[ChrisBlair]

edited due to bad day

[ChrisBlair]

No man, I'm not offended, I'm just tired of people second guessing me. happens all the time, its as if they can't imagine I could be right half the time. I'm just so tired.

It's not your fault

[xstuntman]

Please, please, do not urinate on your downstairs Walmart shoppers, the usually smell bad enough already.
But learning to play a large and loud didgeridoo out on the deck?
Cool, and i've heard the (aboriginal) chicks dig it...

[Angrybird 12]

2" PVC pipe with a curved piece on the end to direct it under your balcony, make a box with a fan in it that will blow air through the pipe. Whenever they light up on the balcony light a stink bomb drop it in the box and turn on the fan.... Yeah you will get some of the smell too, but you may need to suffer a little to get their attention.

[ssrs2lt]

It's gonna be hard to explain water on a sunny day ..I'm thinking passing gas loudly with a deep reverb.. Use the tin around your hips in a skirt fashion to focus the blast downwards..Hahaha I'm cracking myself up..safety comment don't get too close to the open flame

[VTSummit]

Water coming off your deck onto theirs would actually probably end up with a visit from maintenance and be actionable... and their smoking appears to not be actionable.
Propane is heavier than air... you could just blow them up with a leaky propane cylinder.

[skipinminn]

Just for the hell of it contact your Local PD as it was pointed our earlier Maybe it's a local law that says they can not smoke within 25 feet of the building. I take it this is an Apartment building? Your Landlord might have something in the lease that may send them to another area to smoke. < Just my 2cents worth.

[ChrisBlair]

Originally Posted by VTSummit

Water coming off your deck onto theirs would actually probably end up with a visit from maintenance and be actionable... and their smoking appears to not be actionable.
Propane is heavier than air... you could just blow them up with a leaky propane cylinder.

It actually states in my lease that if there's a leak they can't find, I am shot at dawn.

Originally Posted by ssrs2lt

It's gonna be hard to explain water on a sunny day ..I'm thinking passing gas loudly with a deep reverb.. Use the tin around your hips in a skirt fashion to focus the blast downwards..Hahaha I'm cracking myself up..safety comment don't get too close to the open flame

Not really. I wouldn't be available to have to explain. And when they finally talked to me...you had what drip on you when? Dude. It was sunny out. You're drunk.