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04-21-2010, 04:12 PM
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#1 |
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Ride this Chevy
Drives: 2010 RJT RS Camaro Join Date: May 2009
Location: Lincoln, Nebraska
Posts: 1,575
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Gifts for Men
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his
car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why. If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the- way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" No one knows why. When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. Again, no one knows why. Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts. Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer. Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy. Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why. Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over. Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto,eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks." Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound pro- pane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?" Tickets to an NFL game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why. Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chain- saw. If you don't know why - please refer to rule above about what happens when he gets a label maker. It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why. Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manilla rope. No one knows why.
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NFL OWNR
 I love the smell of new car in the morning! |
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04-21-2010, 04:20 PM
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#2 |
       
Drives: none :( Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Calgary
Posts: 2,123
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04-21-2010, 04:53 PM
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#3 |
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Orange GM freak
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My wife learned all of that years ago. She also buys me knives for my birthdays and holidays.
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 "My hair's turnin' White, my neck is still Red and my collar is still Blue"Last edited by springerpete; 04-21-2010 at 08:36 PM. |
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04-21-2010, 05:58 PM
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#4 | |
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PWA Relapse
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Quote:
 - X
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2017 1LT/RS A8 Hyper Blue Metallic  |
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04-21-2010, 08:17 PM
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#5 |
 
Drives: 2LT RS Camaro: RY w/ Black Stripes Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 148
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Not accurate for all men, but whatev'.
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04-21-2010, 10:24 PM
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#6 |
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The Mark of Excellence
Drives: 2010 ABM 1SS RS LS3 Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Smallest State in the Union
Posts: 8,690
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All I ever ask for is tools. Nuff said.
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BMR, CAI, DynoMax, Elite Eng., Hurst, Jannetty, Clear Image Headers & Hi Flow cats, Jet Hot, LSR, TSW, VMax, Vredestein  |
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04-22-2010, 04:39 AM
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#7 |
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Moderator.ca
Drives: 05 Grand Am GT Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Niagara, Canada
Posts: 25,372
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looks pretty accurate to me
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Note, if I've gotten any facts wrong in the above, just ignore any points I made with them
__________________ Originally Posted by FbodFather My sister's dentist's brother's cousin's housekeeper's dog-breeder's nephew sells coffee filters to the company that provides coffee to General Motors...... ........and HE WOULD KNOW!!!!__________________ Camaro Fest sub-forum |
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04-22-2010, 04:45 AM
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#8 | |
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Drives: 2010 supercharged LS3 Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Le Mars, Iowa
Posts: 2,235
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Quote:
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04-22-2010, 04:45 AM
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#9 |
 
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love it!!
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04-22-2010, 08:19 PM
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#10 |
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Drives: 2LT RS Camaro: RY w/ Black Stripes Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 148
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I agree with parts of it, but come on...
Really, you'd turn down a nice bottle of scotch? Also, why give guys tools if you are never to buy a guy things that require some assembly?  lol |
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08-31-2011, 02:13 AM
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#11 |
 Drives: it's nice car Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Santa Rosa
Posts: 4
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I love this sharing.well done...
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08-31-2011, 10:37 AM
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#12 |
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Drives: 2013 2LT/RS Summit White Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: NY
Posts: 1,283
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Even easier?
Make a sandwich for your man and serve it topless. We're really not difficult to figure out. 
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08-31-2011, 10:40 AM
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#13 | |
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Commits weekly crime
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Quote:
Prius drivers and Tofu eaters do not count...
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2017 Camaro 1LT - Blue Barchetta IV
I fire up the willing engine, responding with a roar. Tires spitting gravel I commit my weekly crime.  |
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08-31-2011, 10:46 AM
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#14 | ||
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Retarded One-Legged Owl
Drives: 2010 Black Camaro 2SS Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 9,745
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Quote:
Quote:
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one day my love 
