MALES: How involved were you with planning your wedding? Ladies, it's ok to comment

[zq8colorado04]

Me and my fiance are getting married June 5th, we've been planning it ourselves and are operating on a VERY tight budget as far as weddings go.

We're spending $3,000 but we're doing things kind of unconventionally. We (she) wanted a reception, just a way to kind of hang out with everyone and to have a good time with family and friends but we couldn't afford food for 100 people. (All but 9 people are family) so we rented a room at a nice restaurant and it's gonna be dutch. We discussed it with all of our family members before hand and they all said they were cool paying for their own meal...if we had to pay for the food it would've been another $4000...more than doubling our budget and we just can't swing that on our income just starting out.

I think we spent $1,000 on the dress, $450 on the reception room at the restaurant, $400 photographer, $200 flowers, $200 wedding bands, $86 invitations, $93 marriage license, and then a bunch of smaller stuff as well.

I've been trying to help out as much as possible with the planning, I try to let her do what she wants because honestly it doesn't really matter to me I only care about the fact that I'm marrying her...but my role has kind of been the "bad guy" role...I hold our feet to the fire about sticking to our $3,000 budget...and now with everything paid for I think we did a pretty good job of it we started out with a $3,000 budget and after the wedding we'll have only spent $3,200 so not TOO far over budget.

But the part that I'm very happy about is that after the wedding we won't owe anything on the wedding, I can't believe people go into debt over what is essentially a party.

We're not going on a honeymoon til' a while after the wedding...we've got to save up some both me and my fiance are big believers in paying off our debt (my car, her Jeep she got when her 96 Camry went to the big junkyard in the sky, and her student loans) and then living debt free and saving for all our purchases and saving for retirement aggressively.

[zq8colorado04]

Originally Posted by Mindz

I'm involved in quite a bit. most of the decisions we argue about because she wants my opinion and doesn't like it when I give it to her. I was worried about a few things and was able to step in at the beginning and take control of these things...

I wanted to pick the cake.
I wanted to pick my tux.
I wanted the food to taste good.
Once I heard the musician play a song, I wanted to set up the ceremony music.
I want my car parked outside the hotel right in front for pictures.

Other than that, everything has been "our" decision.

Wedding is in 5.5 weeks

What day? Ours is June 5th

[tradosaurus]

One thing I realized after getting married was that everyone and everything involved in a wedding is expensive.

Dress, cake, photographer, DJ.... too much money.

For my daughters, once the fiancee passes all the background checks, they will have a simple wedding in our house. Money saved can go to honeymoon, house, car etc... unless they pay for it on their own.

[Hawkeye]

Planning one right now for August. I'd say she is doing 90% of it. And only running the basics by me. For example: "Do you approve of this? What about this?" type stuff.

Her dad's footing the bill for up 10K, so thats what we have to play around with. I must say, she handles the planning pretty well, for the most part. Somedays she's a bit of a lunatic, but thats to be expected

[ClaymoreZ28]

I kept well out of a lot of it except when family politics required it

Planning our wedding darn near caused us to split up

I plan to go into hiding when my kids decide to get married as I expect that my good lady will send me to a rubber room when it is their time

[2001ragtop]

Based on everything you said, I would recommend you find a location outdoors that is unique (think outside the box). Someplace where outdoor pictures will look good. The key is doing something no one else you know ever did (or would).

Go to THAT location, have the wedding outside. Once you find the right location, the rest falls into place whether its a cheap or expensive wedding.

Find a place that has a gazebo that looks good in photographs. AND I did have to be very involved and helpful, and supportive which usually is required.

Find someone to help decorate and arrange that location with ribbons, flowers, etc.

Edit: Some women prefer that the GUY take charge in certain cases. IF that is how she is acting then TAKE CHARGE. Get er dunnnn ! (surprise her if needed).

If you need to, tell her to just stay out of it. Just manage it like a project at work. if she gets mad later say well you didn't speak up.

Perhaps talk with her more and more until you get more answers to plan better.

[Rockhead]

I got to pick the band,oh wait we had a DJ. Then I guess nothing.

[Holeshot82nd]

I was in afghanistan when the planning was going on.....
......the one time where "thank god" and "afghanistan" were in the same sentence.
hehehe

[Camaro_Corvette]

For me the only decision I got to make was color. After that my advice seemed to go to the wayside. But by god if you aren't standing there beside her while decisions are being made on your behalf it's

[Arachnyd]

I was VERY involved... I dont think any decision was made w/o me except the dress... haha.

Colors, locations, who, what, where, how, I was involved with all that, but then again I'm "that kinda guy".

You shouldnt be fighting over it- did you think of just asking her how she wants you to be involved? I think mine wanted me to "argue" over things like colors so she felt like it was a "big decision".

[01pewterz28]

I was involved 50% maybe a little less I let my wife and mother in-law do most of it. we did not spend a ton actually under $10k for a great wedding (100 people at a nice country club) We spent just as much on our Honeymoon 2 weeks in Hawaii Island hopping