Camaro5 Chevy Camaro Forum / Camaro ZL1, SS and V6 Forums - Camaro5.com
 
Phastek Performance
Go Back   Camaro5 Chevy Camaro Forum / Camaro ZL1, SS and V6 Forums - Camaro5.com > Members Area > Off-topic Discussions

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-01-2012, 01:18 PM   #1
BowtieBelle
They see me trollin'...
 
BowtieBelle's Avatar
 
Drives: 217 ci of fury; Chauffeured by SS
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 13,876
Question What to do when money comes between friends?

I'm absolutely livid at this point and would love to hear if any of you have encountered an experience like this and what you did.

I let a friend move in with me. She's from Michigan and wanted to move away and start over, which I totally understand. Been there, done that! She's been a pretty good friend to me and we have known each other for some time.

Anyhow, the first two months she was here I let her live with me without paying anything. I live on my family's old ranch, which is paid off and I don't pay my dad for rent but I do keep the place up, pay property taxes, insurance, etc. She got a job fairly quickly, but I let her stay on for free for a while so she could build up a reserve. During this time I paid increased bills because of her living at the house, and also paid for food. I'm still buying food and cooking.

Anyway after those first two months I asked her to start paying half the electric bill (now that she lives here the total bill has been around $180 the last three months so $90 a month for electric) and $250 for rent. Not much, right? Especially since I'm still paying the other bills (cable, internet, etc) myself and not asking for her help. Well, after harassing her a little I got the money for last month. This month, she decides to just not pay me. When I asked if she'd have it by the fifth, her response was no, she had other things to pay. She also just got back from renting a car and driving 9 hours to New Orleans and spending a weekend with a guy she doesn't even hardly know. Doing that isn't cheap.

Anyway, I told her I had property taxes and everything else due, and I just paid my insurance on my car and the house in full, so I'm broke, and was really counting on her part to pay bills and whatnot. But it doesn't matter, 'cause she said it'll be like three weeks before she has it. By then her next rent would be about due and I can guarantee she won't have the money to pay for it AND the previous month.

What would you do in this situation? She had the gall to send me a text that said "what would you do if I wasn't living with you?" This really made me livid so I wrote back, "what would you do if you had to pay rent to someone who wasn't a friend, and it was twice what you're getting charged here?" Anywhere else her bills would be twice as high; I let her live cheaply here because she is my friend. I also mentioned the New Orleans trip since she decided to pop attitude at me.

I just don't know how to handle this. I'm tired of getting walked on by people, and this is absolutely a prime example. My entire next paycheck is going to go towards bills and I was counting on her rent to help me out. If she wasn't living with me, I'd have planned things differently, but that's not the case. I don't know if it's worth ruining a friendship over but it doesn't seem like she's treating me like a friend right now.
__________________
"Never race anything you can't afford to light on fire and push off a cliff." -CamaroSpike

2011 Custom LT/RS: Bella's Build Thread
BowtieBelle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2012, 01:22 PM   #2
HookemHorns

 
HookemHorns's Avatar
 
Drives: 2023 Camaro ZL1 Red Hot Convertible
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 859
A true friend would not do that to someone...she is in the wrong and you need to set the expectations of X is due on Y and if she does not do it then she has to leave. You are not parent and do not own her anything.
HookemHorns is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2012, 01:23 PM   #3
Steve Dallas
Commits weekly crime
 
Steve Dallas's Avatar
 
Drives: 2017 Camaro 1LT
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Camano Island, WA
Posts: 9,513
Her stuff, in bags, in the driveway when she gets home. No rent, no place to stay.
__________________
2017 Camaro 1LT - Blue Barchetta IV
I fire up the willing engine, responding with a roar. Tires spitting gravel I commit my weekly crime.
Steve Dallas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2012, 01:28 PM   #4
brandonrr
LFX is not the average V6
 
brandonrr's Avatar
 
Drives: 2011 Mustang GT 5.0
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 314
if she has had time to accumulate some money and now doesn't have enough to pay for the very reasonable amount you are asking, i think she either blew a ton of cash during her trip and/or she might be doing drugs? the fact that she left Michigan to start over adds a bit of substance to that second theory.

either way, not cool. You are definitely not in the wrong here Belle.
__________________
White 2011 Mustang 5.0 - 4/13/13--current
Silver Ice Metallic 2012 Camaro 1LT - 7/27/12--4/13/13 - traded in for mustang
Victory Red 2012 Camaro 1LS - 3/27/12 - 7/10/12--totaled
POS 2011 Mazda 3 - traded in for camaro
2001 Ford F-150 - traded in for mazda
brandonrr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2012, 01:31 PM   #5
CamaroSkooter
Retarded One-Legged Owl
 
CamaroSkooter's Avatar
 
Drives: 2010 Black Camaro 2SS
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 9,745
Not sure how tenant laws are in your state, but here, if you don't have a signed contract with the person, then they are not legally obligated to pay anything.

However, on the flip side, you are not legally obligated to allow her to keep living there, either. So, tell her that if she doesn't start helping out with bills, her stuff will all be packed up neatly and the locks will be changed.

Good luck!
__________________

My VIN = 2G1FK1EJ9A9105017
Build Date: 04-23-2009 according to:
http://www.compnine.com/vid.php
CamaroSkooter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2012, 01:33 PM   #6
BowtieBelle
They see me trollin'...
 
BowtieBelle's Avatar
 
Drives: 217 ci of fury; Chauffeured by SS
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 13,876
Quote:
Originally Posted by brandonrr View Post
if she has had time to accumulate some money and now doesn't have enough to pay for the very reasonable amount you are asking, i think she either blew a ton of cash during her trip and/or she might be doing drugs? the fact that she left Michigan to start over adds a bit of substance to that second theory.

either way, not cool. You are definitely not in the wrong here Belle.
She's a nurse. Definitely doesn't do drugs. I don't know what the hell she's buying, though, 'cause it sure ain't food or anything. I've seen some victoria's secret bags and such lying around, though.

I mean, I know she doesn't get paid a lot ($10/hr I think), and she has to pay her car payment (on a 2004 Impala), insurance and cell phone bill. I'm trying to be sympathetic; it's just hard.

As far as in writing-- yeah, I know that's the case. All I have by way of her agreeing, is text messages. But I'm not going to pull the law card on her..
__________________
"Never race anything you can't afford to light on fire and push off a cliff." -CamaroSpike

2011 Custom LT/RS: Bella's Build Thread
BowtieBelle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2012, 01:33 PM   #7
Sir Nuke
Master of All Things
 
Sir Nuke's Avatar
 
Drives: '20 Corvette Stingray
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Southeast of Houston, Texas
Posts: 22,293
Belle.....I'm with Steve..."Her stuff, in bags, in the driveway when she gets home. No rent, no place to stay." and as Hookemhorns notes....."True friends don't treat friends like that", thus you can bet, she isn't a true friend.
__________________
Sir Nuke is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2012, 01:36 PM   #8
bossbunny
Mrs. Bunny to you
 
bossbunny's Avatar
 
Drives: Not a Camaro
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Cut 'N Shoot Texas
Posts: 24,336
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Dallas View Post
Her stuff, in bags, in the driveway when she gets home. No rent, no place to stay.
bossbunny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2012, 01:39 PM   #9
Soonerfan
 
Soonerfan's Avatar
 
Drives: 2013 Ash Grey Camaro
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: FT Sill, Oklahoma
Posts: 144
I would agree with the others... If she really was a friend you wouldn't have been put in this spot, she would have offer to help knowing your struggling. If it was me, when she walked in I would tell her either she pays the amount or get out right now!! She's not a friend she's a freeloader. You can always find another friend.
Soonerfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2012, 01:40 PM   #10
strych9
I'll be back...
 
strych9's Avatar
 
Drives: Subaru, HD Road Glide Special
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 3,036
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Nuke View Post
Belle.....I'm with Steve..."Her stuff, in bags, in the driveway when she gets home. No rent, no place to stay." and as Hookemhorns notes....."True friends don't treat friends like that", thus you can bet, she isn't a true friend.
^^This.

Don't enable her. Send her packing. She'll figure out her wrongdoing eventually. If not, her problem, not yours.
__________________
Bye bye, Bumblebee!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
strych9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2012, 01:40 PM   #11
Mysteek
Lounge Gangsta!!
 
Mysteek's Avatar
 
Drives: 2014 Jeep Wrangler Sahara Unlimited
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: NM
Posts: 12,824
I agree with all of them sweetie!! You can try one more time to be nice to her and ask for the $$$ that is past due and if she pops attitude again. Tell her to move out!! You gave her 2 mths worth of assistance, and you aren't a welfare office handing out freebies! She has a job and if she has money to blow going out for the weekend in New Orleans she has money to pay you. She is taking advantage of you, and as everyone else has said...............TRUE friends don't do that. NOT EVER!!
Mysteek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2012, 01:46 PM   #12
Mr. iNCREDIBLE


 
Mr. iNCREDIBLE's Avatar
 
Drives: 2012 2SS/RS Convertible
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: SoCal Baby...
Posts: 2,530
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Dallas View Post
Her stuff, in bags, in the driveway when she gets home. No rent, no place to stay.

pretty much my opinion.. been down this road..

no rent = no home If she had her own place she would be getting evicted now..


As far as friends go.. sounds like it's time to write this one off.


mom always told me.. "Never a borrower or lender be" in other words don't borrow or lend unless you are prepared to write it off as a gesture of friendship. If the freindship is worth it, the money shouldn't matter, if the money matters then the friendship isn't worth it.

Last edited by Mr. iNCREDIBLE; 10-01-2012 at 02:05 PM.
Mr. iNCREDIBLE is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2012, 01:53 PM   #13
BowtieBelle
They see me trollin'...
 
BowtieBelle's Avatar
 
Drives: 217 ci of fury; Chauffeured by SS
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 13,876
I never let friends borrow money. If they need it and I have it I give it to them and if I get it back that's great, and if not it was a gift. This is a little different though.
__________________
"Never race anything you can't afford to light on fire and push off a cliff." -CamaroSpike

2011 Custom LT/RS: Bella's Build Thread
BowtieBelle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2012, 01:54 PM   #14
AirManFL
Mid-Florida Camaro Club
 
AirManFL's Avatar
 
Drives: 2018 ZL1
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 2,220
Like others are saying, don't enable her. At the same time, It's difficult to kick someone out. But to set your conscience straight, spend some time putting together some black and white expectations on paper. Sit down with her, go over it with her. If she doesn't comply, then you did everything you could do to help her without enabling.

Remember this...it isn't your fault she is in this position. You didn't do anything except help her. No matter how much she tries to take advantage, it's her responsibility to take care of herself.

Good luck..

Rob
AirManFL is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:04 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.