16 Things It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn - Camaro5 Chevy Camaro Forum / Camaro ZL1, SS and V6 Forums

hot_rod · 03-31-2010, 02:02 PM

One of My favorite writers...

16 Things It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn

By Dave Barry, nationally syndicated columnist

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and will never achieve its full potential, that one word would be "meetings."
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
You should not confuse your career with your life.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
Never lick a steak knife!
The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
Your friends love you anyway.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
actually several of them....

Iwantone2 · 03-31-2010, 02:04 PM

Da Hose · 03-31-2010, 02:07 PM

awesome!!!!

*The_Blur* · 03-31-2010, 02:09 PM

I completely agree.

Finchman20 · 03-31-2010, 02:22 PM

#13 is my new life's motto

2000v6 · 03-31-2010, 03:30 PM

Some of those things need to be changed. I mean sure an amateur built the ark, but could he have built a state of the art cruise ship?

hercamaro · 03-31-2010, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2000v6

Some of those things need to be changed. I mean sure an amateur built the ark, but could he have built a state of the art cruise ship?

Only after LOTS and LOTS of meetings!!!

Xanthos · 03-31-2010, 03:52 PM

The titanic was a fine ship. Until they ran it into an iceberg.
- X

lee · 04-02-2010, 09:03 PM

thats awesome

"prima"Donna · 04-03-2010, 01:10 AM

very good advice....

ron10 · 04-03-2010, 01:16 AM

i agree.

09'Z28 · 04-03-2010, 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xanthos

The titanic was a fine ship. Until they ran it into an iceberg.
- X

no, the iceberg didn't look both ways and it ran into them... isn't that the story for the insurance company?

SleepWarz · 04-03-2010, 08:56 AM

That and they forgot to build the ship properly.... Gaps at the top of each section so water can spill in >.>

@op rofl.

vsound · 04-03-2010, 02:32 PM

Very nice.

03-31-2010, 02:04 PM	#2
Iwantone2 Voice Of The Voiceless Drives: CGM 1SS RS Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: OC Cali Posts: 9,617 View My Garage	__________________

03-31-2010, 02:09 PM	#4
The_Blur Moderator Drives: 2018 Harley-Davidson Street Bob Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: San Diego Posts: 14,769	I completely agree. __________________ RDP Motorsport//GEN5DIY//Cultrag Performance//JPSS//Rodgets Chevrolet// Operation Demon//Buy at Invoice//RACECARWEAR RESPECT ALL CARS. LOVE YOUR OWN. warn 145:159 ban

03-31-2010, 03:52 PM	#8
Xanthos PWA Relapse Drives: Formerly-Stick Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 12,588 View My Garage	The titanic was a fine ship. Until they ran it into an iceberg. - X __________________ 2017 1LT/RS A8 Hyper Blue Metallic

04-03-2010, 01:10 AM	#10
"prima"Donna HWAY STR Drives: 2010 RJT VIN#7085 & 2014 CRT C7 Join Date: May 2009 Location: New York Posts: 13,118 View My Garage	very good advice.... __________________ ~ HWAY STR ~

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03-31-2010, 02:02 PM	#1
hot_rod Drives: 2010 2SS RS Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Texas Posts: 1,222 View My Garage	16 Things It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn One of My favorite writers... 16 Things It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn By Dave Barry, nationally syndicated columnist Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and will never achieve its full potential, that one word would be "meetings." There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. You should not confuse your career with your life. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. Never lick a steak knife! The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) Your friends love you anyway. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ actually several of them....

03-31-2010, 02:22 PM	#5
Finchman20 Drives: 2010 SIM 2LT RS Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Deepintheheart of TX Posts: 116	#13 is my new life's motto

03-31-2010, 03:30 PM	#6
2000v6 Drives: 2003 m3, 2000 camaro v6, 2004 s4 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: ny Posts: 1,125 View My Garage	Some of those things need to be changed. I mean sure an amateur built the ark, but could he have built a state of the art cruise ship?

04-02-2010, 09:03 PM	#9
lee Drives: 2010 2ss/rs Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Austin Posts: 1,016	thats awesome

04-03-2010, 01:16 AM	#11
ron10 Drives: 2010 2SS IOM L99 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: LOUISVILLE,KY.. Posts: 7,545	i agree.

04-03-2010, 08:56 AM	#13
SleepWarz Banned Drives: 1991 New Yorker, 69 Tbird, ABM2SSRS Join Date: May 2009 Location: BC Canada Posts: 2,248 View My Garage	That and they forgot to build the ship properly.... Gaps at the top of each section so water can spill in >.> @op rofl.

04-03-2010, 02:32 PM	#14
vsound Drives: 2LT RS Camaro: RY w/ Black Stripes Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: USA Posts: 148	Very nice.