Albuquerque Cruising!

[Ocikat]

A little humor for the day, not original but good, enjoy

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.

The directions said that:

a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;

a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and

a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!

A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
I had no control over the drooling.
Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

[Ivan @ Southwest Speed]

Originally Posted by Ocikat

A little humor for the day, not original but good, enjoy

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.

The directions said that:

a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;

a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and

a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!

A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
I had no control over the drooling.
Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

Are you kidding?!! LMAO

Tell me that's a true story. Please.

ROFLMAO That's awesome
Ivan

[2010 BADSS]

Darren made the mistake of getting me one of those a couple years back...........


Ivan, I thought I saw a taser in Christa's purse too?

[Ivan @ Southwest Speed]

Originally Posted by 2010 BADSS

Darren made the mistake of getting me one of those a couple years back...........


Ivan, I thought I saw a taser in Christa's purse too?

No....that's her Glock 29.


Ivan

[Ocikat]

[QUOTE=2010 BADSS;2321236]Darren made the mistake of getting me one of those a couple years back...........

sounds like there is more to this story here

[cjingle]

I can't remember who was asking me about the 2010 Camaro SS Spare Tire kit...

I finally found the link to the guy who sells the kit:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Spare...item35ac3d0ab2



I have the kit if anyone wishes to "rebuild" it. The piece that needs to be built is the offset adaptor. The rest of the components are commercially available (tire, wheel, lug nuts, jack, and wrenches).

Let me know if any of you are interested and maybe we can pull together some of these kits.

I've put this spare on my car and it fits perfectly. I've also tried the GM "goo" option and it failed miserably!

[audrey_m]

Hey all,

I just wanted to let everyone know that the credit union i work at
is offering interest rates for auto loans as low as 1.95%. This is
also the re-finance rate. Just thought i would share this with everyone.
If your interested or want more info let me know. You can also
go to the website which is sandia.org. Hope everyone had a happy
Monday!

[TommyBoy]

Originally Posted by cjingle

I can't remember who was asking me about the 2010 Camaro SS Spare Tire kit...

I finally found the link to the guy who sells the kit:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Spare...item35ac3d0ab2



I have the kit if anyone wishes to "rebuild" it. The piece that needs to be built is the offset adaptor. The rest of the components are commercially available (tire, wheel, lug nuts, jack, and wrenches).

Let me know if any of you are interested and maybe we can pull together some of these kits.

I've put this spare on my car and it fits perfectly. I've also tried the GM "goo" option and it failed miserably!

That was me. I asked you to show it too me, and promptly forgot due to the excitement of our first track day! Sorry about that. In your opinion, is it a pretty well integrated kit that fits and works well together, or would you be able to do better building it yourself (if you had to buy all the components yourself)? P.S. Thanks for the ride!

Tom

[Ivan @ Southwest Speed]

Originally Posted by audrey_m

Hey all,

I just wanted to let everyone know that the credit union i work at
is offering interest rates for auto loans as low as 1.95%. This is
also the re-finance rate. Just thought i would share this with everyone.
If your interested or want more info let me know. You can also
go to the website which is sandia.org. Hope everyone had a happy
Monday!

Just when I thought that I didn't need another reason for ANOTHER Camaro........

If I could just convince Christa that Synergy Green 1SS cars are the sign of the Zombie Apocolypse, I'd be so in there.

But then I would have to deal with not going to Mrs. Russell first for that loan....

Time for

[Soundwave]

I would have killed for a ratcheting 1/2 wrench and another foot of ground clearance last night night, but it still got done. Thanks Ivan, these are great for the direction I'm going!

[rharp]

Damn I like the way that looks.

[Ivan @ Southwest Speed]

Holy smokes....I need a napkin. Lmao.

Looks great Matt!

Perhaps you can come "test" them out this Friday at the drags?????

Thank you for posting the pics up!

If any of the C5/ABQ guys and gals needs to borrow tools or a garage or hands to install their DTs, lemme know.

My tools beg for attention. Lol
Ivan.

[Soundwave]

I would seriously consider going, but we're heading out to San Diego for the weekend! I need to start ripping this thing though, it's been babied a little too much.

[2010 BADSS]

They do look great, Soundwave, and I'll bet they sound even better.