2010 Camaro linked to possible medical condition - Manentia Frendo

[68RS]

This following article appears in the Canadian newspaper The Star, but US officials were already pressuring for the article to be pulled:

Barack Obama today asked the US Surgeon General and Centers for Disease Control to open an investigation surrounding the newest health outbreak impacting the American populace. With the recent reduction in H1N1 cases health care professionals across the United States have started turning their concerns to a more recent scare known as “Manentia Frendo” Reported cases of manentia frendo have started to increase in recent months in the US and Canada. The condition is manifest in individuals and impacts their facial muscles and other extremities such as their hands and feet. Individuals show symptoms of lightheadedness, elation, spastic arm gestures, and uncontrollable foot extension. To date, no known cure has been identified although the CDC is working franticly to determine the source and find a cure as cases have now been noted in all 50 states as well as all Canadian Provinces.

Victims of manentia frendo are still able to function on a somewhat normal level, although levels of productivity are severely reduced. Manentia rrendo, also known under the slang of “permi-grin”, has seen a sudden upsurge of the disease which started around March and continues to grow in numbers in more recent months, with unofficial reports that more than fifty thousand people being afflicted. The CDC has asked that the pseudonym of “permi-grin” not be used for fear that panic will ensue if anyone sporting a smile is seen in public whether or not it is connected with the disease.

The CDC’s investigation has been conducted largely under secrecy, although the disease has been rumored to have heavily impact car enthusiasts, with conspiracy theorists pointed to everything from new premium fuel additives that may be at fault, to warnings that the new Chevrolet Camaro may be directly causing the condition. The CDC officially has no comment but inside sources have been cited who report that several General Motors executives have been called to closed door Senate hearings, and that the Canadian Parliament has secretly granted the CDC search documents for the General Motors plant in Oshawa, Canada. The Oshawa assembly plant is a newly refurbished facility now producing the Chevrolet Camaro. However, any official inquiries are still strictly denied. A motion was made this week in British Parliament to temporarily ban in US auto imports until more details of the outbreak are uncovered and an antidote discovered.



Young man holding sandwich board in downtown Ontario


Man stricken with manentia frendo shows early symptoms

The original article, if it has not been pulled, can be seen here:
http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/article/782612