Looking for step by step oil change process

[calflan]

Change the filter every time - it's about $6 from the dealer. You won't need a new 'O' ring for the filter on the V6, the cannister the filter is mounted in is on the driver's side top of the engine.
Very easy process. If you've done brake rotors and / or brake pads, change will be a walk in the park ... and you'll be glad you did it - piece of mind. Don't pay anyone to change your oil. it's too easy if you have the room in the garage or driveway and time. Remember the V6 takes 6 qts., so one 5 qt. container which is now what is sold (and 4 Qt. jugs too), will not be all you'll need.

[traip93]

Thanks guys for your help, and smashing the flammers. Good stuff!!

Doesn't the owner's manual illustrate how to do this?

The manual doesn't

[Banshee]

OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEN:

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree; write check for $50.

2) Go by Qwik-Stop and buy a case of beer; write a check for $20.00, drive home.

3) Drink a beer to "get started."

4) Jack car up. Spend 30-minutes looking for jack stands.

5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6) In frustration, have another beer.

7) Place drain pan under engine.

8) Look for 9/16" box-end wrench.

9) Give up and use crescent-wrench instead.

10) Unscrew drain plug.

11) Accidently drop drain plug into pan of hot oil, splashing hot oil on you in process.

12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on oil drops.

13) Another beer while watching oil drain.

14) Spend 30-minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing hot oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among debris in trash can to avoid environmental fee. Beer.

17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.

18) Sunday: Skip church because, "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in backyard instead of taking it to be recycled, and avoid environmental fee.

19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.

20) Beer? No, drank it all Saturday.

21) Walk to Qwik-Stop, buy more beer.

22) Install new oil filter, making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24) Suddenly remember drain plug from step 11.

25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

26) Recall that the used oil is buried in a hole in the backyard - along with drain plug.

27) Beer.

28) Shovel out hole and sift through oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kid's sandbox to cleverly conceal oily patch of ground and avoid environmental fee. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.

29) Discover first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil.

30) Beer.

31) Crawl back under car, get kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily gas rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug rapping knuckles on sharp edge of frame.

32) Bang forehead on exhaust manifold in reaction to step 31.

33) Cussing fit.

34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.

35) Cuss for additional 10-minutes.

36) Beer.

37) Clean up hands and head, and apply bandages to stop blood flow.

38) Beer to stop pain....

39) .... Ditto.

40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

41) Beer.

42) Lower car from jack stands.

43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.

44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil from step numbers 23 - 43.

45) Beer.

46) Test drive car.

47) Pulled-over and arrested for DUI.

48) Car towed and impounded

49) Call loving wife; make bail.

50) 12-hours later; bail out car.

MONEY SPENT:
Parts $50.00
DUI $2,500.00
Towing Fee $175.00
Impound Fee $75.00
Bail $1,500.00
Beer $40.00
TOTAL: $4,340.00

BUT , YOU KNOW THE JOB WAS DONE RIGHT ! ! !

[MrGazinya]

^^^That's some funny sh!t right there

[traip93]

15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

I thought this car has a cartrige? Do they still screw on?

20) Beer? No, drank it all Saturday.

21) Walk to Qwik-Stop, buy more beer.

No beer sale in georgia on sunday, now I know to load up on saturday, just in case.

22) Install new oil filter, making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

I would have never thought to do this.

I know most of your items where done in comedy, but now I see why I've paid to have this done.......the cost savings doing it yourself is bairly worth the time saved.

I do the breaks because the cost of labor is unreal!!

Funny stuff!

[1320junkie]

Originally Posted by traip93

I thought this car has a cartrige? Do they still screw on?


No beer sale in georgia on sunday, now I know to load up on saturday, just in case.

I would have never thought to do this.

I know most of your items where done in comedy, but now I see why I've paid to have this done.......the cost savings doing it yourself is bairly worth the time saved.

I do the breaks because the cost of labor is unreal!!

Funny stuff!

Changing the oil i almost as easy as changing the tire..it's not hard at all

[ravensjeff]

Great stuf Banshee. Most of it looks familiar!! I wonder if the OP still wants to change his own oil!!! Makes the $80(??) dealer charge look like a bargain.

[Banshee]

Yea, I get a kick out of it during the winter months.. That and spring and summer fishing shows get me through cabin fever.

[HaveBlue]

Check this out. It's for a CTS but yours is similar. On the Camaro you remove the oil fill cap and pull up on the engine cover to remove it. The canister is then visible on the drivers side.

http://www.cadillacfaq.com/faq/answe...nge/index.html

[Gentry78]

Originally Posted by Banshee

OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEN:

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree; write check for $50.

2) Go by Qwik-Stop and buy a case of beer; write a check for $20.00, drive home.

3) Drink a beer to "get started."

4) Jack car up. Spend 30-minutes looking for jack stands.

5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6) In frustration, have another beer.

7) Place drain pan under engine.

8) Look for 9/16" box-end wrench.

9) Give up and use crescent-wrench instead.

10) Unscrew drain plug.

11) Accidently drop drain plug into pan of hot oil, splashing hot oil on you in process.

12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on oil drops.

13) Another beer while watching oil drain.

14) Spend 30-minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing hot oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among debris in trash can to avoid environmental fee. Beer.

17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.

18) Sunday: Skip church because, "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in backyard instead of taking it to be recycled, and avoid environmental fee.

19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.

20) Beer? No, drank it all Saturday.

21) Walk to Qwik-Stop, buy more beer.

22) Install new oil filter, making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24) Suddenly remember drain plug from step 11.

25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

26) Recall that the used oil is buried in a hole in the backyard - along with drain plug.

27) Beer.

28) Shovel out hole and sift through oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kid's sandbox to cleverly conceal oily patch of ground and avoid environmental fee. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.

29) Discover first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil.

30) Beer.

31) Crawl back under car, get kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily gas rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug rapping knuckles on sharp edge of frame.

32) Bang forehead on exhaust manifold in reaction to step 31.

33) Cussing fit.

34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.

35) Cuss for additional 10-minutes.

36) Beer.

37) Clean up hands and head, and apply bandages to stop blood flow.

38) Beer to stop pain....

39) .... Ditto.

40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

41) Beer.

42) Lower car from jack stands.

43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.

44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil from step numbers 23 - 43.

45) Beer.

46) Test drive car.

47) Pulled-over and arrested for DUI.

48) Car towed and impounded

49) Call loving wife; make bail.

50) 12-hours later; bail out car.

MONEY SPENT:
Parts $50.00
DUI $2,500.00
Towing Fee $175.00
Impound Fee $75.00
Bail $1,500.00
Beer $40.00
TOTAL: $4,340.00

BUT , YOU KNOW THE JOB WAS DONE RIGHT ! ! !

pretty much some it up


lmfao thats was awesome

[ace2777]

Very funny !!
hope it goes a little smoother for me tomorrow

[tosh]

Just a sugestion for you guys that are changing your own oil and filter on your cars the first oil change. When oil is done draining, pour one new quart into engine and allow to drain through so as to remove all the metalic filings that have settled on the bottom of the pan. just need to do this on first change .{cheap insurance}

[97one]

Originally Posted by tosh

Just a sugestion for you guys that are changing your own oil and filter on your cars the first oil change. When oil is done draining, pour one new quart into engine and allow to drain through so as to remove all the metalic filings that have settled on the bottom of the pan. just need to do this on first change .{cheap insurance}

Can only do good

I usually have app. half Qt. or more from a last oil change, and I do the same with it .( I have 3 cars & use the same oil in all 3) Then I let it drain while I do other things for maybe 1Hr. more or less to get most of the old oil out. I know some may not have the time but if you do it sure helps.

[EAkrish]

How do you reset the oil life thing on the dash?