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03-04-2009, 11:18 PM
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#1 | |
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SS Lightning
Drives: An SRT8 Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Cinnaminson, NJ
Posts: 2,285
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Official Joke Thread
As the name suggest, tell a joke and laugh:
Blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day so she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk, takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers... Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't very long before a police car came along... "What is going on here?!" "My car broke down, Officer" says the woman, calmly. "Well, what the heck are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?!" asks the officer... "Helllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!"
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03-04-2009, 11:22 PM
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#2 |
 Drives: 2010 Camaro 1ss/LS3 Victory Red Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: kinston, NC
Posts: 251
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thats funny
Im thinking!!!
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2010 Camaro SS/LS3
 1998 Camaro Z28 A4 |
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03-04-2009, 11:31 PM
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#3 |
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Drives: 2010 Camaro 1ss/LS3 Victory Red Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: kinston, NC
Posts: 251
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Last Day on the Job
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?" "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you." He said, "F@ck him, give him a dollar." The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."
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2010 Camaro SS/LS3
1998 Camaro Z28 A4 |
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03-05-2009, 03:48 AM
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#4 |
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PWA Relapse
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Why do ducks have big, flat feet?
To stamp out forest fires! Why do elephants have big, flat feet? To stamp out flaming ducks!  - Xanthos
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2017 1LT/RS A8 Hyper Blue Metallic  |
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03-05-2009, 06:15 PM
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#5 |
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Camaroholic
Drives: '10 Camaro 2LT/RS IOM int/ext Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Cowtown (Ft.Worth), Texas
Posts: 168
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Q: What happens when a Mustang owner takes Viagra?
A: He gets taller!
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Ordered 10-13-08
1100 10-15-08 2000 3-19-09 2500 3-24-09 3000 3-26-09 3100 4-18-09 3300 4-18-09 3400 4-30-09 3800 5-6-09 #8102 4000 5-6-09 4104 5-6-09 4B00 5-6-09 4200 5-12-09 5000 5-20-09 6000 5-20-09  |
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03-05-2009, 06:18 PM
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#6 |
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Should have waited...
Drives: 2004 Mazda RX8 Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 226
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03-05-2009, 07:48 PM
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#7 |
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Booooosted.
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An ole TEXAS cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real TEXAS cowboy?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a TEXAS cowboy.' She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women.' The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real TEXAS cowboy?' He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian.
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03-05-2009, 07:56 PM
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#8 | ||||
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Truth Enforcer
Drives: anything I can get my hands on Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: anywhere and everywhere
Posts: 22,797
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Never race anything you can't afford to light on fire and push off a cliff
A group as a whole tends to be smarter than the smartest person in that group until one jackass convinces everyone otherwise. Quote:
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03-05-2009, 08:02 PM
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#9 |
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just can't seem to leave
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Eve ('00 FRC): hot-air intake
Rowan ('09 H3): 5spd mom-mobile Penny ('99 Sierra): 5.3 / HD 5spd... gone but not forgotten Samson ('18 HD): compounded 408  |
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03-05-2009, 08:07 PM
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Booooosted.
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Quote:
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